In this life and in the next
by jellinor
Summary: [UNDER CONSTRUCTION] They say that difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer; but what the soul has once known, it shall never forget. Hinamori Momo waits, and waits, and is rewarded. HinaHitsu.
1. Rooftop Memories

**In this life and in the next**

* * *

_The war had been won._

_Aizen was dead._

_Soul Society had been saved._

_..._

_So, why wasn't she happy?_

* * *

**Chapter 1: Rooftop Memories**

Soul Society had changed. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but things were definitely different. It was as if the sun wasn't as warm, the Moon as clear, or the stars as bright. Maybe it was because... She closed her eyes and shook her head, as if to warn her wandering thoughts not to go _there_.

It had been years, but it was still indescribably painful.

She took a deep breath of morning air, filling her lungs. This stilled her thoughts, at least for a moment. But they refused to go away and against her will, she started to remember.

She turned her attention to the buildings below her feet. She was sitting on a roof, her arms hugging her knees close to her chest. Although she knew otherwise, she still felt so small and so insignificant as she watched the magnificent city slowly rouse from its sleep.

Yes, she felt small and insignificant. But she had survived.

The war had taken its toll on the inhabitants of Soul Society. She still winced at the memory of the number of dead and the seemingly ever-growing number of missing. Each day, new reports of despair, pain, and death had flooded the offices of the Gotei 13. It had taken her days after their victory to gather enough courage to pick up the first report with shaking fingers. Soon, she could no longer cry. All her tears had been spent, and she felt numb, empty, grotesque, _cruel_. It wasn't that she didn't want to feel anything, she just couldn't.

She could still recall the first officers' meeting, which took place only hours after the shinigami had clawed their victory from the plains of Hueco Mundo. The Head-Captain had surprised them all by calling **all** seated officers to the meeting. Such a request had been unheard of. But when they had arrived to the assigned meeting hall, they had understood why. Normally, the great hall would have been overflowing with black robes and excited chatter. But that day, it was almost empty, emphasising the spaces that ought to have been filled by their dead comrades. A heavy silence had enveloped the survivors as they stood there, waiting for instructions.

When the Head-Captain finally broke the silence, she had been certain that no one in the room would ever forget the sight of him, the most powerful being in Soul Society. Despite of his advanced age, the Commander-General had always invoked respectful fear among his subordinates, but on that day, he had looked like a tired old man... fatigued and fragile. The long, exhausting war had stripped him of his usual intimidating demeanour and he was fumbling with his mask, just like the rest of them.

She couldn't remember all that the Head-Captain said that meeting. But although her memory was blurred, certain phrases still rang in her ears with perfect clarity, _"Captain Unohana has returned... victory is confirmed... Aizen and the other high traitors are reported as dead... we have yet to confirm the number of survivors... we do not know how many officers, including Captains, have survived the offensive strike at Las Noches... all shinigami are to return to Seireitei immediately, regardless of rank, position, and previous orders... the termination of the remaining arrancar and hollows is not a priority... the Kidou Corps are holding all portals open so that we can retrieve all of ours, dead or alive... standby for further orders... you are the officers of the Gotei 13... you have made your Captains proud... take care of your divisions, you are needed like never before... each squad is to receive its particular orders tomorrow morning... Dismissed."_

"_Dead or alive_." That particular phrase had resonated deeply within her. The line between life and death was so faint and so undefined. One moment you could be killing, while in the other, you could be prey – it only took one strategically placed slash. Despite her diminutive appearance and gentle personality, she was a trained soldier. A warrior. _A killer_. She understood these things.

After the Head-Captain dismissed them, she had looked at her fellow officers, noting that the expressions of disbelief, confusion, and concern etched to their faces mirrored her own. It seemed that they had survived the hellish nightmare, but they were too tired and too worried to be happy. What had happened to their comrades, their friends? Where were they? They could only hope to find them among the returning shinigami, who were slowly making their way back home. Within hours, the 4th Division was overrun with the injured and the dying, and anxious survivors.

The war against Aizen's minions had been as lengthy as it had been furious. She had known that it wouldn't be an easy victory – no, she knew her former Captain better than that. He had stretched Soul Society to its limits, and it had known; the Head-Captain had known; the Captains had known. They knew that unless Aizen was challenged and defeated in Hueco Mundo, he would mercilessly raze Soul Society to the ground. Thus, a last, desperate attempt to end the war had been suggested by none other than the young Captain of the 10th Division: launching an all-out offensive attack on Las Noches. He had argued that Aizen's arrancar would be easier to defeat if their leader was dead.

Permission to begin the preparations had been granted with immediate effect. Nine of the remaining Captains – even the sickly 13th Division Captain – had volunteered to go on the mission. But they had agreed to leave their able lieutenants and enough squad members to defend Soul Society. After all, the leadership responsibilities and defensive efforts were to be maintained, even after they were gone.

She would always remember those who were picked for the mission, the brave souls who were chosen to defend their right to exist. The evening before the operation had been still, melancholic, and the air had been heavy with good-byes, last instructions, and regret.

She would always remember that evening. The evening when he told her that he loved her.

In a way, she already knew. But it was first when he looked deeply into her eyes and softly called her to him that she had understood its overwhelming significance. He wasn't fighting for Soul Society, revenge, or even for survival.

He was fighting for her.

* * *

My first ever, so try to be kind, please?

I know that the first chapter might look a little bit slow, sorry! I needed to build the story from somewhere... but it gets better! Pinkie promise!

I'll be adding more chapters to this one, so keep an eye out!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach, unfortunately.


	2. War and the Return of the 5th

**Chapter 2: War and the Return of the 5th**

Yes, he was fighting for her, despite of all the pain that she had caused him.

She had looked at him with honest confusion.

"Why?" she had asked him, lowering her eyes to the ground, not daring to look at him, anxious of what he would tell her.

"Why not?"he had countered with uncharacteristic playfulness, fully aware of what she was actually asking.

But when he saw her misty eyes, and realized that she didn't want to play his game, he had chuckled and pulled her closer to him. Then he whispered, "Because you mean more to me than life."

She had looked straight into his radiant eyes, inviting him to gaze back into her soul. "I'll miss you", was all that she could bring herself to say.

She saw from his gentle smile that he knew what she had meant.

--

When she woke up, he was already gone. She hadn't expected him to wake her, but she wished that he had. In his place lay a piece of paper with his small, neat handwriting.

* * *

"_I'm not going to tell you that I'll be back and that we'll live happily ever after. We are both too old to believe in such nonsense. But I will love you until my last breath, and if I don't return, then I want you to know that I did._

_I love you, in this life and in the next."_

* * *

She couldn't help but to smile at the contents of the note. He hadn't pretended that everything would be alright; he hadn't promised that he would come back, because he knew and she knew that such a promise could so easily be broken by a quick flick of a wrist or a violent burst of light. The note was so typically _him_ that she could almost hear his voice.

And so the waiting began.

No scraps of news were too small to be ignored, and she had been anxiously waiting with the rest of Soul Society for a message from the Captains. Days and weeks went by, but none came.

_Anything,_ it didn't matter how small, just to prove that he was still alive.

Sometimes she had wished that she could have gone with him. But she knew that she wasn't powerful enough to contribute to their efforts, and as a lieutenant, she was required to stay with her squad. She hadn't been back to the 5th Division office since she regained consciousness – it had been overwhelmingly painful to even imagining walking through those doors... Of course, as its lieutenant, she had dutifully managed the mountains of papers and reports, but she had worked from the safety of her living quarters.

But it had been time to finally face her fears. When she had finally returned, her squad had lined the walkway to the office building, waiting for her in complete silence. She had been struck by how much it had changed since its traitorous Captain had revealed his true nature and abandoned it. The members of her division had borne expressions that she had never seen before, and which she prayed that she would never have to see again – they had looked afraid and so utterly _lost_. The sight had filled her with anger, and as she marched back into the building, she had defiantly held her head high.

It took all of her time and energy to collect the parts of the broken squad and to slowly piece it together. Yes, it took time, but her skittish division finally settled. It would never be the same as before, but it stabilized and that was all she could have asked of it. She told them that as the 5th Division of the Gotei 13, they were braver than yielding to despair, and prouder than allowing the past to interfere with the present. She wasn't sure if her words had reached them, but she had hoped that they eventually would come to believe her. Soon, she realized that they did. Her subordinates no longer looked at each other with suspicion, or hung their heads when confronted by the other squads. They were no longer ashamed. No, they wanted revenge.

--

Wave after wave of arrancar attacks were held back by the collective effort of the Gotei 13 lieutenants. Without their Captains, they did not have the power to protect the living world, as they could hardly defend their own, but they hoped that Aizen had focused his attacks on them and halted his attack on the humans, at least momentarily. It had seemed that Aizen meant to crush the resistance from Soul Society before harvesting the innocent souls from Karakura Town and crowing himself King.

In any case, their orders had been clear: the lieutenants' priorities were the defence of Soul Society and the survival of the members of their divisions. But they stood powerless as their numbers dwindled with each attack and when fear was digging its claws deeper into their ranks.

She didn't know exactly how they had managed – it was stubborn determination and sheer force of will that had kept each division from falling apart. But sometimes she had wondered just how much abuse sanity could tolerate before it finally snapped. A shinigami was taught how to defend from physical attacks, but nothing could have prepared any of them for the length the enemy would go in order to break them.

She could still remember the nights. The nights were even worse than the days. At least the clamour of battle hid the _sounds_. But during the night, the agonizing screams of the dying and the tortured, who had been found by the enemy, echoed over Soul Society, breaching the defences that had been put in place around Rukongai. Perhaps the enemy knew that they were missing their captains, and thus wanted to test the mettle of those who had remained. Perhaps it was to satisfy their base viciousness. She didn't know why. She didn't want to know why. She didn't even want to imagine why.

It was during the nights that the lieutenants, who were not on active patrol duty, would assemble in small groups to discuss defence plans. They claimed that it was the best time for developing strategy, but the truth was that without their frequent meetings, none would have had the strength to carry on. There were moments when they thought that they would break, but they leaned on each other and somehow they held firm. They would not allow themselves or anyone else to yield to the enemy; they wanted to make their Captains proud, and to show the arrancar what it meant to be shinigami.

--

She had been aware of their reluctance to let her division partake in the defence of Soul Society. The 5th Division had been assigned to assist the 4th, and she had understood the unspoken reasons all too well; she remembered the painful period after the coma, how she had been utterly convinced of her Captain's innocence. She couldn't blame them if they secretly worried that she could become a security risk. But she hadn't been removed from her position, and she knew that unless she and her squad were trusted once more, they would never fully recover.

So she had called a meeting; she knew that more than one shinigami had been surprised by her sudden assertiveness. She had stood in front of the rest of Seireitei with her entire squad behind her, knowing that they trusted her completely. That trust had been hard-earned and it had filled her with pride, but also with fear – when she had stood there, it had been as their commanding officer. In a sense, she had been _Aizen_. Or at least, she was what he had been before the traitor had left her to die in a pool of her own blood, ending the long years of sickening pretence; before he had trampled on her trust, their division's trust, as if they meant nothing.

_Trust_. It still frightened her that neither she nor the other shinigami of her squad never even dreamt of questioning their absolute loyalty and dedication to him, their former Captain. No, they never questioned the trust they placed in him – not even once.

She had secretly wondered if Aizen had not only stolen the Hougyoku, but also his former division's ability to _trust_. But as she had been patiently waiting for the sea of shinigami in front of her to offer her their complete attention, her squad had confirmed that she was wrong – Aizen would not win, at least not in this. While the Head-Captain somehow had entrusted her with the responsibility of continuing to lead her squad, it had been the 5th Division itself that had trusted her enough to follow. It had _chosen_ her to deal with the aftermath – it had _trusted_ her to heal the wounds. So as she had stood there with her squad's combined spiritual pressure gently reminding her that they would stand by her, no matter what, supporting her to the end, she had sworn an oath. She had sworn that she would never leave them, never yielding to her own insecurities and fears. They would always come first, and for them, she would take on the entire Seireitei if she had to.

Then she had opened her mouth to speak.

She told them everything. She told them of how she had since long ceased to grieve for him, the Captain that she had thought she knew, and who she had trusted with her life.

That man no longer existed, if he had ever existed at all.

No, she had felt no regret when the Captains left for their mission – rather, she welcomed it. She hated that man. She hated him with all the venom her little body could muster. Aizen had betrayed her, betrayed each member of their squad, and betrayed Soul Society.

She wanted him to die.

When she was finished, she had looked each of her fellow lieutenants in the eye and told them that the 5th Division was ready to report for active duty, and to beat the fuck out of anyone who thought that they were weak. She could sense how the men and women behind her straightened their backs and raised their heads, as if to challenge those who still questioned their lieutenant.

That was the moment when she knew, beyond all doubt, that they truly were ready. So she had smiled. It was not the sweet, innocent smile that she was known for, but a smile that would send chills up the spines of her enemies.

They had stood before of her, speechless. Even the little pink-haired lieutenant of the 11th Division didn't say a word. The girl standing in front of them wasn't the timid, soft-spoken creature they were used to, and definitely not the victim that they had assumed that she was. No, she was a proud, powerful lieutenant of the Gotei 13 – a lieutenant just like them. Matsumoto Rangiku, her old friend and lieutenant of the 10th Division, had been the first to break the stunned silence.

"_Welcome back, 5th Division. We missed you."_

That small act of recognition had been enough. The 5th Division of the Gotei 13 had risen from the grave like a phoenix from its ashes. And the shinigami of the Gotei 13 knew it – they had seen it happen.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	3. The End

**Chapter 3: The End**

Then the end came. None of those who had stayed in Soul Society had expected the war to end like that, or even that it would end at all. She doubted that even those in Hueco Mundo had expected things to turn out the way that they did.

When the announcement was made, she and her squad had just walked into an ambush. Well, to be honest, it wasn't really an ambush – her scouts had told her where the arrancar were waiting for them. But after brief deliberation with the remaining high-seated officers of her division, she had decided to meet them head on.

There was no longer a soul in Seireitei who doubted the 5th Division and its lieutenant. When they were finally granted entrance the battlefield, they brought with them a raw, animalistic fury that since long had abandoned the others. The other divisions had looked at them with awe as they attacked swiftly and without mercy, destroying every arrancar unlucky enough to cross their path.

Needless to say, the 5th Division wasn't immortal; it suffered heavy losses just like the other squads. She still had nightmares about burning, red-stained fields littered with bodies and abandoned, broken weapons. But the survivors were determined to avenge their fallen friends – her division's ferocity had even rivalled that of the 11th, which spurred a friendly competition between the squads. Normally placid and peaceful, she had egged them on, conscious of the fact that the greater the number of arrancar to enter and to die in Soul Society, the fewer the Captains had to fight in Hueco Mundo. She couldn't be by his side, but she could kill for him. And kill she did.

But she never fought for pleasure –at least she didn't think that she had. It wasn't the glory on the gory battlefield that she had cared for. No, she had cared about her division. So when she decided to walk into the arrancar trap, she had headed the expedition herself. Although she was a kidou master and still preferred demon magic, the war had forced her to improve her swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat skills. When she erased the first of the waiting arrancar from existence with a series of expertly executed strokes, she had sent him a quick thought.

He wouldn't recognize her now.

She hadn't lost any of her gentleness, but her childish naivety and trusting nature had broken like glass against Aizen's cold malice. She had also gained an air of icy harshness, an edge. When she had the rare opportunity to sit down and think, she wondered what this would mean for her, once the war had ended. Would she still be the same person? Or had she crossed a line and irreversibly changed for the better... or worse? She silently thanked the inevitable interruptions that stopped her musings. She had been secretly afraid of what she would find in the darkest depths of herself if she dug any deeper.

Besides, would the war ever end? For each day and for each division member who failed to report back from his mission, her doubts had grown. So when the Hell Butterfly fluttered over their heads as the battle with the arrancar reached its peak, she had regarded it with anger and annoyance. What could be so important as to disturb them now? This was hardly the time to relay messages.

"_To all Divisions of the Gotei 13, it is confirmed that the traitor Aizen is dead and that Las Noches has been destroyed. All shinigami are to return to Seireitei as soon as possible. A meeting for all seated officers will take place in four hours. I repeat: it is confirmed that the traitor Aizen is dead and that Las Noches has been destroyed. All shinigami are to return to Seireitei as soon as possible. A meeting for all seated officers will take place in four hours."_

The message must have thrown them as much as it did her, but her squad members had quickly recovered their composure. Similarly to the other divisions, they had lost almost all of their newer recruits, leaving only the more experienced shinigami and the high-seated officers. They knew better than to lower their guards, even for a moment: carelessness meant death, more often than not.

So they had continued to fight, but with renewed resolve. When the threat finally had been eliminated, they were exhausted. Those, who had made it through mostly intact, carried their wounded friends back to Seireitei. It was the same as after every battle.

When she had ensured the relative safety of the remnants of her squad, it had almost been time for the meeting. As the lower-ranked officers obediently started to file through the doors of the assigned meeting hall, the lieutenants had, as by a silent agreement, met on the courtyard outside.

It had been a long time since so many of them had assembled in one place, and she was struck by their ravaged appearances. If she hadn't known them for years, she wasn't sure if she could have recognized them; worn, torn, and weary, but radiating a grim, primitive determination, they had looked as if they hadn't slept for days. When she thought about it, she had concluded that they probably hadn't. In fact, she hadn't even certain of the last time _she_ had slept – undisturbed sleep had quickly become secondary to survival, a luxury that wasn't easily afforded.

They had looked at each other in silence. Thankfully, they had all survived more or less... Renji was fighting for his life up at the 4th Division after having singlehandedly defended a group of wounded members of his squad; Nemu had been dealt so much damage that the Shinigami Research Institute admitted that only her ingenious Captain could hope to fully restore her; and despite of Isane's best efforts, Marechiyo would carry his scars for the rest of his life. And as for the rest of them? No one had escaped severe injuries, and every single one of them had been under the care of the 4th Division more times than they could or wanted to remember.

But she had fervently hoped that they would be alright – they simply _had_ to be.

One by one, they had lowered their heads, their bows conveying the deep respect they held for each other and honouring the memory of the fallen. It had been a simple act of remembrance, but the acknowledgement had been expressed in the best way that they knew. After all, they were shinigami, death gods; they were men and women who were more at home with battle and blood than with fancy words and linguistic finesse.

Then, they had walked into the meeting hall, flanked by each other's familiar spiritual pressures, and with the hope that maybe, just maybe, it had finally come to an end.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	4. The Captains are coming

**Chapter 4: "The Captains are coming"**

As the days went by, she had grown more and more impatient. Survivors had been limping back to Soul Society on a daily basis, but she couldn't find him amongst them.

Of course, she had known that as a Captain, it was his duty to see his squad to safety and to be the last to return, but she didn't care about protocol: she simply wanted him back. She had witnessed the arrival of the Captain of the 4th Division, so she had heatedly wondered why _she _had been allowed home when _he_ hadn't. But her thoughts had embarrassed her – it was only natural that Captain Unohana returned as soon as possible. Her skilled and competent lieutenant and squad had made her proud in her absence... but a Captain was a Captain.

Initially, she hadn't dared to ask about him. Firstly, she had been shocked by the state of the returned Captain; the normally calm and serene woman had worn an expression that easily could have qualified her for a seat within the 11th Division. Secondly, the 4th Division was a mess. It had been pushed to its limits even before the survivors from Hueco Mundo had started to arrive, and by the time Captain Unohana had returned, it was chaotic. There weren't enough beds, medicines, or trained healers to accommodate for all the injured; 4th Division members collapsed from the strain and sleep-deprivation, and rumours had been circulating of desperate healers who were stealing from the squad drug supply just to remain conscious enough to fulfil their duties. As she watched the pale shadows who were healers of the 4th Division, hurry through Seireitei, she had wondered why they had ever been seen as weak – without them, Soul Society wouldn't have survived for five minutes against the arrancar. The third reason, which she was ashamed to admit to even to herself, was that as long as she didn't know for certain, she could honestly hope that he was alive. She didn't want Captain Unohana to take that hope away from her.

But soon, she felt that she _had_ to know.

Before the war, she had never been one to pay much attention to gossip and stories, but now she hungered after any scrap of information that could reveal his whereabouts. It was said that their losses on the barren plains of Hueco Mundo were unimaginable, but that arrancar and hollows finally had been driven back. All of the Captains had survived the initial fierce battles – not even they had escaped unscathed, but they had survived. But no one knew anything concrete after that. It seemed that some survivors had been ordered to remain in the outer parts of Las Noches to secure the area, while the strongest shinigami had followed the Captains as they pushed further into the enormous fortress. As far as anyone knew, no one who had ventured into the heart of Las Noches had returned, with the exception of Captain Unohana, who suddenly emerged with the news of Aizen's demise. But after she had ordered a messenger to return to Soul Society, the Captain had remained silent, refusing to answer any questions. It was only after she had returned to the havoc of the 4th Division, that the Captain had opened her mouth.

So she had waited with the other anxious lieutenants for the return of their Captains. However, that was not to say that the lieutenants had been sitting in their offices, rolling their thumbs. No, order had to be returned to Soul Society, worried Rukongai inhabitants and shinigami alike had to be reassured, restoration projects had to be initiated, the Academy had to be reopened, new teachers had to be recruited, a temporary solution for the non-existing Central 46 Chambers had to be found... All the while the Gotei 13 divisions still had to be run, the mountains paperwork had to be completed, damage reports had to be read, and threats posed by arrancar and hollows had to be dealt with.

--

Then, at last, a whisper had filled Seireitei, _"__The Captains are coming.__"_

--

So, exactly four days after the announcement of their victory and when all surviving shinigami had returned from Hueco Mundo, the Captains were finally coming back.

Along with the rest of Seireitei, she had excitedly run to the courtyard where their designated portal had been opened, and along with the rest of Seireitei, she had held her breath when a group of shinigami finally emerged, and she counted one, two, three, four, five, six, seven Captains.

_Seven?_

That growing knot in her stomach, that sensation of acid burning her innards, that merciless gnawing at her heart... it still haunted her, it still suffocated her, and it still _hurt_.

Her mind had desperately tried to comprehend the scene. There they were: the portal and the shinigami. But why were there only seven Captains? The Head-Captain had remained in Soul Society and Captain Unohana had already returned... which meant that eight Captains should have stepped out of the portal. But they had only been seven.

_One was missing._

She had so fervently counted the number of Captains that she barely noticed their harrowed faces, bandaged bodies, and bloody and burned clothing. Despite of their triumph, the victors had looked utterly defeated. Nor did she sense the grief that surrounded the group. She had been too busy searching for him.

Where was he? Why couldn't she see him?

Suddenly, the group had stepped aside to reveal a figure, which until then had remained half-hidden behind them. It was one of the senior Captains – he, who always had a friendly smile for everyone, despite of his exhausting illness. But that day he had been devoid of his usual gentleness. Instead, his features revealed only regret and immense sadness. He had been holding something small in his arms, shrouded in black cloth, protectively cradling it like a newborn baby.

That's when she _knew_.

Time had seemed to slow down, and at that moment, she could have sworn that she heard something break.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	5. A Winter's Tale

**Chapter 5: A Winter's Tale**

The stifling stillness filling the courtyard had finally been shattered by one lone voice, _her_ voice. Her throat had been like dry parchment; her mind had felt empty, strangely devoid of thoughts; and she had stared at Captain Ukitake, mesmerized. The world around her had slowly disintegrated into nothingness – all she saw was that black bundle, and all she heard was the irregular beating of her heart. But she _had_ to know. She had to confirm that she was _wrong_.

"Where is the Captain of the 10th Division?"

She still remembered how far away her own voice had sounded. It was as if someone else had spoken the words that ran through her mind. She still didn't know why she had addressed him with his formal title – it was something that she always had refused to do, much to his dismay. But it was her privilege, her right as his best friend, and she had guarded it fiercely and with pride. So why couldn't she bring herself to say his name just like she always had?

The group of Captains hadn't seen her, a black-clad girl in a sea of other black-clad figures. But they had known to whom the voice belonged, and the unnatural calmness of the request tore at their souls. The Captains had looked down at the ground, not daring the risk of distinguishing her from the crowd. Secretly, they cursed their cowardice; they had fought the Espada and won, but they couldn't bring themselves to even look at the girl. Even the heartless Captain of the 12th Division and the equally tactless Captain of the 11th hadn't met her gaze.

"Where is the Captain of the 10th Division?!"

Her voice had been louder, more demanding, more impatient. Perhaps she had hoped that they simply hadn't heard her question, and that they would put her fears to rest once they did. Of course, there was an explanation to all this. There had to be.

But they hadn't offered her one; the silence had been enough to convey the truth. But she had refused to accept what their empty eyes told her, and she had been filled with anger.

"Where... is... _he_?"

It had barely been more than a whisper, but the shinigami winced as if she had screamed. But it broke the spell, and Captain Kuchiki had opened his mouth.

"He is home."

His voice had been strange. If she hadn't known any better, she would have sworn that it had been _soft_. She still didn't know why she remembered this seemingly irrelevant detail; maybe it was because the gentle tone was oddly paired with his famously imperious and impersonal appearance, or maybe it was because she had always believed the stern Captain of the 6th Division to be completely devoid of empathy. She didn't know.

It was only then that she had stepped forward, separating herself from the crowd. She had felt so small and so alone. But she hadn't cried. She wouldn't cry for him in the same way that she had first cried for her former Captain. He deserved better than that.

"What happened?"

She had hardly believed her ears. Was that really _her_ voice? Did that iciness really belong to _her_? How could she have sounded so calm and so composed when she was raging inside? To this day, she still didn't know.

Captain Kuchiki had allowed for one brief, questioning glance at Captain Ukitake, who had nodded his silent approval. She had braced herself for what she was about to hear, as she knew that Captain Ukitake wouldn't allow them to lie to her. She had silently thanked him; at least she would receive nothing but the bare truth, regardless of how terrible.

"When we entered Hueco Mundo, we were immediately surrounded by arrancar and hollows. It seemed that Aizen had foreseen the possibility of an invasion. We do not know how long we fought, as the battles were measured by the number of dead rather than in time. Eventually, we reached Las Noches, but almost half of our forces had perished, despite of the efforts of the 4th Division." She had been struck by the dead expression creeping across Captain Kuchiki's features as he spoke. It was as if his mind had returned to the blood-stained plains of Hueco Mundo, where fellow shinigami had fallen around him like the petals of his shikai.

Captain Komamura had continued when Captain Kuchiki quieted. But even as he towered over the heads of his fellow Captains, his impressive statue had seemed oddly diminished. "The bravery of those who fell shall never be forgotten. Many good shinigami lost their lives before we stood by those cursed white walls. The arrancar were strong, so strong that we were pushed to bankai once or twice. But we knew that the Espada would be waiting for us inside."

"Captains Kyouraku, Ukitake, and... and Hitsugaya devised the plan to advance." The petite commander of the Special Forces had been the first to mention him by his name. "It was decided that only the strongest shinigami would accompany us inside, while the main part of our forces were to secure the surrounding area and infiltrate only the outer levels of Las Noches. They were to immediately open a portal to Soul Society at the first signs of defeat."

"It was simple plan," the Captain of the 8th Division explained with unusual seriousness. "We decided that the fastest way to find and defeat Aizen was to split up – to divide and conquer. Each Captain was to head a group of specially chosen shinigami and we hoped that at least one group would reach Aizen, while the others dealt with the Espada. The Captain who reached the bastard first would release his or her spiritual pressure, enabling the others to trace it. It was a reckless plan that relied far too much on chance, but we couldn't afford to wait. We were painfully aware of the enormity of our limitations: our divisions were in shambles, and the number of dead and dying seemed to grow for each passing second. We couldn't wait – we had to find him while we still had the strength."

"The battles," Captain Zaraki had filled in, his visible eye positively glowing with bloodlust, "were beyond my wildest expectations. We met opponents worthy of dying by our blades. I don't know about you, but my battles were furious. Bah, I'll always remember the sight of the little Captain of the 4th Division fighting like an animal. I never thought that she had it in her..."

"Captain Zaraki, I would like to remind you that I, too, possess a bankai, and that I am not a Captain of the Gotei 13 for nothing. Although, I admit that I prefer healing wounds to inflicting them." Captain Unohana's voice had been sharp like a released zanpakutou, and Captain Zaraki had twitched ever so slightly when she interrupted his musings about the glorious battles of his memories. It took much to rattle the large, violent Captain of the 11th Division, but Captain Unohana had joined her peers unnoticed and her comments had caught him completely off-guard. But her voice had softened as she continued, "The fortress was riddled with corridors, and it seemed that new arrancar were waiting for us behind every corner. I never thought that we would find him. But then I felt it."

She had known what Captain Unohana had referred to – she had felt it, too, numerous times. When the white-haired prodigy was in a particularly sour mood and released some of his spiritual pressure, no one in Seireitei was safe.

"Yes... I believe that we all felt the eruption of Captain Hitsugaya's spiritual pressure." Captain Kurotsuchi had added with unusual thoughtfulness. She could remember how she had attributed that uncharacteristic quirk to a serious injury – possibly a severe concussion. "It was clear from the its frosty signature that it could belong to no other. But it felt strangely _different. _It felt larger and more powerful than expected. It's a shame that things ended like they did: he would have made a most interesting test-subject. If he had just stayed ali... Eh?"

Captain Kuchiki had interrupted the president of the Shinigami Research Institute with a shot of his most menacing glare, while Captain Soifon had held Suzumebachi dangerously close to his throat. "One more word..." she had hissed, daring the older Captain to continue with his rant. Captain Zaraki had looked at the three intently, visibly rooting for some sort of violence.

"Captain Kurotsuchi is right." Captain Ukitake had started to speak in an attempt to avert the disaster that was threatening to unfold in front of his eyes. Although he wholeheartedly agreed with Kuchiki and Soifon, they hadn't fought to stay alive in Las Noches only to kill each other when they finally arrived home. "The spiritual pressure was beyond anything I had ever felt before. I always suspected that Captain Hitsugaya had the potential, but I never expected..."

Captain Ukitake's voice had trailed off, as if he wanted her permission to continue. She had looked him in the eyes and nodded. Words had seemed superfluous.

"Very well. As soon as I felt it, I hurried towards him. I must have been the first to arrive, since I didn't sense any of the other Captains. The scene that met me... Aizen had impaled him through the chest with Kyouka Suigetsu, and the Captain's body looked like a ragdoll and seemed just as lifeless. At his feet lay the shards of Hyourinmaru, but he still clutched the broken hilt. From what I could tell, the battle had been raging for quite a while; the room had been utterly destroyed and the bodies of several arrancar lay scattered on the ice-covered ground. But I knew better than to be surprised or to expect anything less from him – it doesn't matter what it is, our young Captain is always very thorough. He never does anything in half measures..." She had flinched when the Captain referred to her friend as if he still... But Captain Ukitake was no longer looking at her. No, he was gazing _through _her, seeing the distant figures of a man holding a boy on a zanpakutou. Captain Ukitake had been reliving his memories – for him, it was happening again. "But what made the scene so grotesque and so disturbing was Aizen's presence. In the midst of the destruction and the blood, he looked so perfectly _alive_. The effortless manner in which he was supporting Captain Hitsugaya on his zanpakutou, the amused look on his face as he inspected the dying light in his opponent's eyes... not even when I lost Kaien did I..."

Captain Kyouaku had placed a hand on his old friend's shoulder, lending him his support so that he could continue. "I drew Sougyo no Kotowari and made a start towards them. But a voice stopped me with a simple, but commanding, '**Don't**.' I could tell from his puzzled expression that Aizen was as surprised as I was; the voice had come from the body that we both assumed to be nearly lifeless. '**Withdraw, 'shiro. Now.**' I obeyed him grudgingly; despite of the gravity of the situation I couldn't help but noting that for the first and only time, Hitsugaya Toushirou had called me by our nickname. Suddenly the room grew cold, maddeningly cold, and the spiritual pressure that I sensed only minutes before overwhelmed me. Indeed, it was radiating from Captain Hitsugaya, but it didn't belong to the Captain of the 10th Division I knew – it was so cold, wild, unforgiving, and unnaturally powerful. A column of red light then surrounded the broken body and grew to encompass the confused Aizen. I felt a grim satisfaction as I saw the first traces of fear in Aizen's eyes. By now, the other Captains had arrived, but I prevented them from interfering – I was certain that it was what Captain Hitsugaya had wanted me to do. So we stood there, in awe of the strange events unfolding in front of us. But then, just as sudden as the spiritual pressure had risen, it fell. In the eerie silence that followed, we could hear Captain Hitsugaya mutter, '**It is time.**' Considering what I had seen, I half expected the shards of his zanpakutou to miraculously join together. But nothing happened. Then he cried, '**Hyourinmaru!**' "

Captain Kyouaku had relieved his friend, whose words were drowned by violent coughing. "None of us could understand why he had called for his broken zanpakutou. We were about to attack when a deafening roar filled the air. We had no idea what was happening, and at this point, Aizen looked straight-out frightened. He roughly shook Captain Hitsugaya off his zanpakutou, bracing himself for an attack. The Captain fell to the ground, but he somehow managed to get to his feet. The next thing we heard was how he whispered, '**Bankai**'."

"The kid started to glow." The Captain of the 11th Division had stopped paying attention to Soifon, who was still glaring at Captain Kurotsuchi, as soon as he realized that no blood was going to be spilt. "Ice started to grow on his body, but it wasn't like his ordinary bankai since... well, since he didn't have a zanpakutou. But we weren't too surprised when the ice took the shape of a dragon, complete with a pair of colossal wings. But it didn't look like Hyourinmaru – it was much, much bigger and it was glowing red. Then it hit us. That must have been the released form of his mature bankai. And it was an awesome sight; it was wild and it was angry. But there had still been no trace of a weapon, other than the broken hilt he still held in his hand. Then all of a sudden we heard another roar and the kid held what looked like a zanpakutou. But when we looked closer, it wasn't. It was pure ice. Aizen, that cowardly bastard, used his zanpakutou to hide behind illusions of himself. But the kid just smirked that creepy, cold smirk of his, and calmly said, '**You won't fool me twice, ****Captain****.**' I don't know how to describe what happened next, but ice surrounded them, making it impossible for us to see the battle clearly. But it looked like Hyourinmaru was everywhere at once, filling all available space between Captain Hitsugaya and Aizen. When the ice finally shattered, Aizen was on the ground with the ice zanpakutou deep into his chest. The kid stood bent over him, whispering something, before collapsing beside him."

"It was quite magnificent." The Kuchiki noble had regained some of his composure. "Captain Hitsugaya's completed bankai was indeed quite impressive."

She had been listening to the Captains intently, hypnotized by their tale, ignoring the whispers around her. The surrounding shinigami had been dumbstruck by the Captains' behaviour. It was not often that they would share such sensitive information, and never so freely. But she hadn't cared: the Captains hadn't been speaking to the crowd – they had been speaking to her.

But then Captain Ukitake had collapsed under the combined weight of his illness, injuries, sorrow, and his precious load. This had stirred them to action. Captain Unohana had immediately ordered all Captains to the 4th Division for treatment for their injuries. But as she had turned away, the Captain had quietly asked her to accompany them.

It had seemed as if story-time wasn't quite over.

* * *

So, what do you think so far?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	6. Never Again

**Chapter 6: Never Again**

She had waited in Captain Unohana's quarters while the returning Captains were treated for their most serious injuries. It had been the first time that she visited the living quarters of a Captain other than Aizen or Shiro.

That simple observation had nearly choked her. She remembered all the nights she would find herself outside his living quarters, haunted by her horrifying memories. After all the lies, deceit, and illusions, she had needed someone who wouldn't leave her – she had needed confirmation that she was _real_. She could suppress her worst anxieties during the day, but at night they freely roamed her mind as horrendous nightmares. She had chosen _him_, because he never turned her away, regardless of the odd hour. Her best friend would slide open his door, take one glance at her tear-stained face, and silently step aside to let her in. He would run his hands through his white, messy hair, and take a closer look at her with _those _eyes to determine just how shattered she was this time. It was in his eyes that she saw her pitiful reflection: shivering in a nightgown and clutching a blanket, her feet bare and her hair tangled around her pale, swollen face.

Oh, how she had hated her despicable helplessness! She hated the fact that she needed him. Yes, she _needed_ him – she _needed_ his presence to ease her mind. That need scared her: need meant dependence, and dependence meant pain.

She had wanted to be strong like him, the composed Captain of the 10th Division, unfeeling like ice.

But it was during those nights that she was reminded that he wasn't. The Captain, who would quietly look at her as she curled up on his couch, was still her best friend. His concerned eyes had assured her that behind the famously frosty exterior, _her _Shiro was alive and well.

She had never thought that they ever would be separated. Even when she had enrolled in the Academy, she had never doubted that he one day would follow her, despite his protests. And, just as she predicted, he had. He even surpassed her, that genial idiot! But she hadn't been surprised: he was the most stubborn person she had ever known. Yes, sometimes she felt as if she knew him better than he knew himself.

But she never even noticed when she fell in love with him. After all, she had always loved him – he was her best friend. So thinking about him, worrying about him, and caring about him came naturally to her. She had done it most of her life. But she noticed a change in the nuances of her feelings towards him: her heart had started to beat just a little bit faster when she saw him, her gaze would follow him through a crowd for just a little bit longer, and she would get an anxious knot in her stomach when he was away on a mission or if she saw him talking with a particularly pretty shinigami.

She hadn't thought much of it at first, brushing it off as merely being ridiculously over-protective of her friend. She had scolded herself for still thinking of him as the scrawny, bratty little boy from her childhood. While it was true that the Captain of the 10th Division was exceptionally young, he was no longer a child – his youthful appearance concealed a soul much older than his years. Her bratty childhood friend had stepped aside in favour for the mature, responsible young man with a seemingly permanent scowl etched across his face.

But yet she couldn't stop worrying about him, it was a completely natural response. It was simple. He was the only one who knew her - he was the only one who had known who she had been, who she were, and could imagine who she would become in the future. He was her only connection to her life before she became a shinigami.

He was the red thread that ran through the chapters of her life. She could only hope that she meant something similar to him.

But she never had much chance to reflect on her changing feelings, as disaster had struck mercilessly and without warning. When she finally accepted that her reality had been nothing but a cleverly constructed illusion, and the man she had trusted unconditionally had used her and trampled on her trust, she had been utterly crushed. She had been an emotional wreck, burying herself in paperwork to block out the pain. The moment she had been released from the 4th Division, she had stunned everyone with her insistence to return to her duties as a lieutenant. She had welcomed the endless piles of papers, which had occupied all of her time and required all of her energy. The flimsy reports had been her only barrier against the hurt that otherwise would have threatened to take over her mind.

But that evasive manoeuvre had only worked when she was awake.

When he had asked about her dreams, she had just whimpered in response. She didn't know how to tell him that her nightmares never centred around her own dying body or that cruel bespectacled face, but on the shocked expression in **_his_ **eyes when she raised Tobiume against him with the intent to kill. He had assured her that he didn't blame her, that she had been helpless against Aizen's manipulation and that it wasn't her fault.

But she couldn't forgive herself; she should have trusted him, she should have fucking _known_ that he was innocent. She couldn't figure out why he cared so much for her still, and why he hadn't left her even after all that had happened. But a little voice inside her head had whispered that he was patient because he cared about her, perhaps he even...

Her emotions had still been in turmoil and she was still aching from the betrayal, but she had been drawn to that voice against her will. She had started to pay more attention to the odd feelings that seemed to focus on him, and she realized that she felt _something_. She had been hesitant to investigate that _something_, since she was afraid to_ feel_. If she felt, she could get hurt; she no longer automatically believed in people. But that same little voice had whispered that _he _would never hurt her. And _that_ she had believed. So when she came to him, when the nightmares raged at their most furious, she had entrusted him with herself.

She was always careful to slip out of his rooms before dawn, aware of how it could look like if she was seen coming out of his quarters in nothing more than a nightdress and a blanket. They had shared a room in Rukongai, but the other shinigami didn't know that and would most likely jump to conclusions. But before she left, she would take a moment to look at him. He looked so peaceful when he slept, curled up in his blankets. She almost couldn't recognize the stern Captain in her sleeping friend, but from the faint frown on his face, she knew that he was never far away.

She always kissed his forehead in silent thanks for his friendship and hospitality, but one morning she had surprised herself by pecking him lightly on the lips. She had shot up, fervently trying to come up with a plausible excuse as for why she was so close, just in case he suddenly opened his eyes. She had blushed profusely at her own daring, but the young man had remained fast asleep and completely unaware. After that, she had continued with this new tradition each time she woke up on his couch; it wasn't like they were kissing, since she was sure that an actual kiss would require that the other person at least was conscious. But it was funny, some mornings she could have sworn that he lightly kissed her back. But she attributed that to her imagination – his behaviour towards her hadn't changed, although he seemed to watch her more intently.

Sometimes she cursed her cowardice, but surely, it would have been too complicated. They had been friends for so long that anything else would have been... well, _complicated_. She hadn't been sure of how she really felt, and she didn't expect him to have given their friendship or anything else any particular thoughts at all. She knew her Shiro and he most definitely did not think along those lines. So, she had continued to treat his waking self like she always had, confining herself to observing him from afar, convinced that he didn't know how she felt.

Or at least she had thought that he didn't know.

The evening before he left her, they sat on their usual roof, admiring the stars. It was under those distant lights that he had told her. She had been in a state of shock, her mind racing – he loved her! Despite of the hopeful little voice in her head, she hadn't seriously expected him to _actually_ feel that way about her, much less to _tell_ her. But she had guessed that the prospect of death changed things, even for someone as reserved as he. So she had stuttered something about her own confused feelings, too self-conscious to look at him. But when she finally did, she had been baffled. He hadn't reacted to her admission like she had thought that he would. That idiot hadn't even blushed! Instead, he smirked._ Smirked_. He had _dared_ to smirk at _her_. Then he nonchalantly informed her that he'd always been a light sleeper. Realization had dawned on her, manifesting itself on her rapidly reddening face – that stupid male had known about her morning pecks all along! Worse still, he had enjoyed them and never told her! She had huffed, muttered something inaudible, and turned away from him. There was no way that she would even look at him now. If he could be cruel, then she could be, too.

He had laughed at her reaction and before she could stop herself, she had looked back at him, her eyes wide in surprise. Hearing him laugh had been a rare occasion, even when they were children.

"Yes, Bed-wetter Momo?" He had grinned even wider. He knew that she knew that she had lost this one.

His eyes had melted into hers, and he had possessively pulled her closer to him, as if her presence was enough to dispel the gloom that threatened to invade his mind. Tomorrow, he and the other Captains would enter Hueco Mundo, and who knew if he would ever see her again...

That was the moment when she decided to finally end her confusion, to finally ask him, knowing that she might never have another chance. So she had asked him the question that had been burning on her tongue ever since she had accepted Aizen's guilt.

"Why?"

When he had answered her, she knew that it had been the truth. He would never lie to her.

"I'll miss you."

She never uttered the word _love_ as they sat on their rooftop, afraid to say it out loud. She had loved Aizen once; the calm in his voice had immediately settled her fears and she had felt completely safe in his presence. Of course, her feelings hadn't been the slightest romantic, but he had been _her_ Captain and she had worshiped him. So she didn't say the word _love_, not even once, because she couldn't use it again, not yet. But she had hoped that he had understood what she meant – despite being a shinigami prodigy, he could be a bit dense when it came to emotions, a typical male trait according to Matsumoto. But she needn't have worried, for his gentle smile had told her that he knew.

That night he had been her best friend and her lover. Of course, nothing scandalous had happened when she snuggled up against him. But the way that he held her close until she drifted off to sleep was something new, and before she closed her eyes she had marvelled at how protected she felt against his shorter body. He had enveloped her, _completed_ her with his gentle affection and that had been enough.

--

'_...had been..._'

That was right, because he wasn't anymore, was he? She had taken a sip from the cup standing on the round, low table in front of her. Isane, in her usual, thoughtful manner, had brought her some tea while she was waiting. But she had been so lost in her thoughts that the tea had long grown cold, something she only noticed when she finally raised the cup to her lips.

_Cold_. Cold like Shiro? No... He could be chilly, but never cold, never to her.

As she sat there, her legs folded neatly underneath her, and staring at the wall in front of her, reality had hit her in the stomach with the power of a particularly sadistic vasto lorde.

_**He wasn't coming back**__._

_--_

_Never again would he walk through the doors of his beloved division._

_Never again would a loud, exasperated "MATSUMOTO" ring over Seireitei when his lieutenant failed to report for duty – again._

_Never again would he sit by his desk, buried under the familiar piles of paperwork._

_Never again would he groan when she came barging into his office, unannounced, to distract him from said paperwork._

_Never again would he appear out of nowhere, saving her when he sensed that she was in trouble._

_Never again would he look at her tear-stained face and ask why she was crying, if she knew the name and division number of the offender, and how she wanted him murdered._

_Never again would she sense his earnest desire to protect her. He claimed that he was only joking when he threatened to avenge her with Hyourinmaru, but they both knew that he really wasn't._

_Never again would Seireitei tremble with fear when Hinamori Momo cried._

_--_

She had stubbornly transfixed her gaze on the wall, as the list of forlorn things grew longer. She had been afraid that if she lost contact with that wall, if only for a moment, her mind would yield to the madness that threatened to overwhelm her sanity. So she had stared at it, her lifeline, unblinkingly.

_--_

_Never again would he scold her for calling him the nickname that she loved._

_Never again would she scold him for calling her the nickname that she "hated", but secretly didn't mind._

_Never again would they sit on a roof, enjoying each other's company and admire the stars._

_Never again would she hear his serious voice, a stark contrast to his boyish exterior._

_Never again would she see __**that**__ frown when something worried him. Or __**that**__ glare when someone commented on his height, or lack thereof._

_Never again would she ruffle his soft spikes and look deeply into his beautiful, expressive eyes._

_Never again would she feel his scent when he embraced her. He smelled faintly of the watermelons that he loved so much._

_**--**_

_**Never again would she see, hear, smell, and touch all the things that she treasured... all the things that made him hers.**_

--

She had felt how her stomach drew itself into a familiar knot. But she stared straight ahead, refusing to cry.

No, the Hinamori Momo, who easily and carelessly skipped between the contents of her vast arsenal of emotions, had died when her Captain betrayed her. The Hinamori Momo, who cried uncontrollably when confronted with loss, pain, and suffering, had died during the war. The Hinamori Momo, who shamelessly wept in public, had soon died after she opened the first of the post-war reports that had flooded her office after the victory. The Hinamori Momo, who allowed herself to show weakness, had been mortally wounded when she realized that her best friend, her beloved, was gone. He had been so very strong, and she wanted to keep something that had belonged to him.

But as she sat in Captain Unohana's quarters, sipping cold tea, staring at a wall, and battling with herself for control, a single tear had escaped from the corner of her eye.

She couldn't give him back his life, but she had given him her last tear.

_Never again._

* * *

The story isn't over yet! Hinamori still has to find out what the Captains wanted to tell her...

I really want to hear what you all think, so reviews are much appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach.


	7. His Star, Her Star

**Chapter 7: His Star/Her Star**

She had jumped to her feet when a discreet cough broke through her thoughts. Captain Unohana's timid 7th Seat, Yamada, had stood at the door, fidgeting with the sleeves of his robe and nervously informing her that the Captains would join her shortly.

But he had hardly stopped speaking when the remaining Captains of the Gotei 13, with the exception of the Captain of the 12th Division, imperiously strode into the room. They were far from healed, but their bandages had been changed and they were wearing clean robes. She watched them in respectful silence, standing hesitantly, unsure of what she was supposed to do.

The Captains had settled around the low table and were given cups of tea from the nervous Yamada, who immediately shot out of the room as soon as his presence no longer was required. She had understood his reaction. She was a lieutenant, and more used to them then the poor 7th Seat, but even she felt quite uncomfortable by seeing her superiors up-close in such an informal setting, especially since none had spoken to her or even acknowledged her presence.

"Lieutenant Hinamori, please join us." The mild voice of the 13th Division Captain finally ended the awkward silence, as he gestured her towards the empty place across from him at the table. "You are probably wondering why we called you with us. You must understand that we could not continue our conversation in front of the others. There are certain things that are meant for your ears only."

"Captain Ukitake is right." Captain Unohana had looked at her with a sad, apologetic smile. "We didn't realize that we so openly discussed the loss of one of our own in front of the entire Seireitei. We apologize for our thoughtlessness, lieutenant. Well, as Captain Zaraki correctly informed you of earlier, Captain Hitsugaya collapsed after his battle with Aizen. I can't explain how he had mustered enough strength to call forth a complete bankai – from a medical point of view, Captain Hitsugaya should have died on Aizen's blade. But when I examined his injuries, I noticed that his wounds had been enclosed by thin layers of ice. I believe that they had been formed as part of his bankai as a mean of protection. But as I was examining him more closely, Captain Hitsugaya asked me to stop."

"The figure on the ground looked so small and helpless. The wielder of the enormous ice-dragon was nowhere to be seen, and if I hadn't witnessed it with my own eyes... I don't think any of us had ever imagined that he could look like so powerless. Captain Hitsugaya may have been a lot of things, but he was never helpless." Captain Kyouraki had stared into his teacup, for once not lamenting the absence of stronger spirits. "As he lay on the ground, he didn't even have enough strength to frown – his face looked completely blank. That's when we understood that it was serious. But we couldn't understand why he refused Captain Unohana's help."

"The little brat said that there was nothing she could do." The voice of the Captain of the 11th Division had sounded unexpectedly subdued, which even prompted Captain Kuchiki to look up from his own thoughts. "He said that it was too late, that Aizen wouldn't die alone. The way that his eyes blazed one last time when he said that name... I'll always remember it. He was a grouchy, short, stubborn, and cocky son of a bitch, but he was like one of us in the 11th Division – he fought until he couldn't fight anymore. He was a worthy opponent, even to me; I wouldn't have held back against him."

She had been about to open her mouth in defence of her Shiro, commenting on the fact that with the possible exception of "short", Captain Zaraki's description of Hitsugaya was accurate for most of the Captains of the Gotei 13, including himself.

Captain Unohana must have sensed her agitation since she quickly continued. "I couldn't deny that he was right; the only barrier between Captain Hitsugaya and certain death was those thin layers of ice. However, I couldn't determine the full extent of his injuries while it still covered him. The ice also prevented me from even attempting to heal him – I needed the Captain to remove it. However, I quickly realized that without the ice, he would most certainly die before I could even assess the situation. But I didn't want to give up – I was determined not to surrender him without fighting for as long as I could. He was so young..." She had looked at Captain Unohana's grim face with astonishment. She hadn't known, no one had, but the young Captain had been the closest thing to a son for the greatest healer in Seireitei. Captain Unohana grieved for him, perhaps more deeply than even Captain Ukitake. "But he just looked at me, whispering, '**Not even you can heal death.**' I don't know what came over me, but his eyes... I have seen death, both in battle and in 4th Division wards, too much death, but the calm resignation in his eyes... He had understood."

Captain Ukitake had lightly placed a hand on her shoulder and continued with his soothing voice. "Of course, we ignored his wishes. Captain Unohana thought that he had a greater chance to survive if he was treated in Soul Society, so we prepared to send them both back to Seireitei immediately. But when Captain Komamura bent down to pick him up, the ice had spread over his body, anchoring him to the ground. At first we thought that it might be a side-effect of his bankai. After all, he had only used it once and couldn't possibly have mastered it completely. But when I was about to forcefully remove it with Sougyo no Kotowari, the boy spoke with a laboured voice, '**Try as you may, Ukitake, but you will not break through Hyourinmaru.**' I think that it was my puzzled expression that prompted him to explain. '**When Aizen impaled me on his zanpakutou, I heard Hyourinmaru call for me. I thought that it was impossible – I had seen him shatter with my own eyes. The connection between us should have been severed. But somehow, I found myself standing before him, much like when we first met long ago. He looked me and I knew. I felt him around me, and I think that we merged. The ice you see is Hyourinmaru.**' I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and when I looked around me, I could tell that the others shared my disbelief. It seemed that his connection to Hyourinmaru had been so strong that he had unknowingly completed his bankai; not to speak of the fact that his zanpakutou had been destroyed, and should not technically been capable of physical manifestation. And yet, he had done just that."

She had stared at the Captain as he was speaking, but when he grew quiet, she remembered her manners and quickly looked away. The white-haired man had sipped his tea before continuing, "It become obvious that he did not want to be moved. But we tried everything. As senior Captains, Captain Unohana and I ordered him to remove the ice, we begged him, and Captain Zaraki even threatened him with more death if he didn't comply. But it was only when we reminded him of you, lieutenant Hinamori, that his inexpressive face showed traces of pain. He said that with Aizen's death, he had fulfilled his promise. What did he mean, lieutenant?"

She felt how all the Captains looked at her intently, and she had hesitated before she answered. It had seemed too personal to be shared, and yet she had felt that they deserved an answer. "We grew up together, and even when we were little, he would protect me. This continued even after we entered the Gotei 13." The Captains nodded in agreement. It hadn't been a secret that Hitsugaya held a _very_ soft spot for the lieutenant of the 5th Division. "Then after... after Aizen, he never fully forgave himself, although I was the one who... who... He said that he hadn't been there to protect me, and then he swore never to fail me again. He...I..."

They had all stared into their teacups, or in Captain Zaraki's case, up at the ceiling. Captain Soifon had been the first to break the silence, "Captain Hitsugaya refused to return to Soul Society before all surviving shinigami had been evacuated from Hueco Mundo. He feared that the news of his death would delay their return – he held true to his duty as a Captain to ensure the safety of all others before his own. He followed protocol, as always, even as he was lying on the ground amidst water, ice, and blood. The members of the 10th Division will never know that their Captain paid them the highest respect a commander can bestow on his squad: he placed their lives higher than his own, even in the face of death. You must understand that Captain Hitsugaya demanded that the events following his last battle would remain undisclosed to everyone but you, lieutenant, and also that he would return to Soul Society as a Captain among Captains. I... I respect him for his decisions – he behaved as a Captain until the end."

"We stood helpless as life was ebbing out of him." Captain Komamura had continued where his fellow Captain had left off. "But we were forced to continue fighting – although Aizen was dead, some... threats still remained. So, all Captains, with the exception of Captain Ukitake and Captain Unohana, were forced to battle on. At his own request, Captain Ukitake stayed with Captain Hitsugaya, while Captain Unohana returned with the news of the traitor's death to our troops outside Las Noches. When the most pressing threats finally had been... eliminated, Captain Hitsugaya was dead. I believe that Captain Ukitake should continue."

"Thank you, Captain Komamura." Captain Ukitake had once again accepted the solemn responsibility of telling Hitsugaya's closest friend about his death. "Yes, it didn't take long. The ice around him was melting rapidly, and I knew that once it had melted completely, our youngest Captain would already have died from his wounds. But before he closed his eyes, he asked me to give you a message. The message is, '**In this life and in the next.**'"

Her eyes had widened. _The note_! Shiro had remembered the _note_!

Captain Ukitake had carefully observed her reaction, and he had nodded knowingly. "He said that you would know what he meant. Also, this now belongs to you. He instructed me to give it to you."

She had winced when she saw what the senior Captain carefully placed on the table.

It was a star.

She could have instantly recognized it anywhere. It was part of the only decoration that had adorned the robes of the 10th Division Captain. She stared at the star for what felt like an eternity. It had looked so abandoned and out of place as it lay on the table, separated from its green sash and short Captain.

_He had given her his star._

As she slowly and hesitantly reached over the table, she had shuddered when she finally touched it. It had felt so cold. But it wasn't an unpleasant sensation – the star embodied the bitter harshness of midwinter nights, glistening glaciers, and empty plains, but also the light softness of newly-fallen snow. She had never touched Hyourinmaru, but she could imagine that this was how he had felt like to Shiro.

She had carefully pinned it to her black robes, right over her heart. The star, which had belonged to him, would now be treasured by her. It was evidence that he had existed, and she would guard that evidence with her life. When he had entrusted his star in her care, he had given her a little piece of his soul.

Then she stood up and bowed deeply, expressing her respect and gratitude to the Captains for their time and for their support. They had gracefully answered her question, and she would trouble them no further. She had thanked Captain Unohana for the tea with a nod and a slight curl of her lip.

Her body had moved mechanically as she walked towards the door. It hadn't been until she heard the soft thud of the door sliding shut behind her that she realized that she had left the room.

--

Six pairs of eyes followed her exit with varying degrees of open bewilderment, while one pair reflected amused curiosity. When they heard the sound of the door gently sliding shut behind her, the Captains looked at each other with confusion: Hinamori Momo hadn't cried, or screamed, or fainted. What Hinamori Momo _had _done, however, was to listen to them in uninterrupted silence. She had even smiled. _What was happening to the world?_

The Captains turned to Captain Ukitake accusingly – he was smiling, too, so it was obvious that he knew something.

"Spill it, Jyuu." The 8th Division Captain freely admitted that he wasn't a particularly patient man, but experience had taught him when to wait and when not to. This was a situation where patience just wasn't going to work. He knew his old friend too well – that man could outwait even Old-man Yama. A direct approach would be the best, and he couldn't think of anything more direct than that. "Jyuu, we know that you know something, so spill it!"

"Oh, I don't know." Said Captain sighed with feigned innocence. "I just think that we have rather underestimated our dear lieutenant. From what my 3rd Seats told me on our way here, it seems that Hinamori's 5th Division gave even Zaraki's brutes a run for their money while we were away. Oh, don't look so shocked, Zaraki!"

The 11th Division Captain was positively fuming, his bells chiming dangerously from the tips of his spikes, as he tried to remain calm with very little success, "5TH DIVISION DID _WHAT_?! WHEN I GET BACK TO MY SOON TO BE HOSPITALIZED SQUAD, ONE OF THOSE USELESS WEAKLINGS IS GOING TO TELL ME _WHAT THE HELL_ HAPPENED! MY SQUAD, _MY_ 11TH DIVISION, CHALLENGED IN THE ART OF _BLOODSHED_?! YACHIRU BETTER HAVE A DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION READY... THIS IS REALLY TICKING ME OFF! AND WHERE THE HELL IS _ICHIGO_?! I NEED TO _KILL_ SOMETHING!"

Captain Unohana was unfazed by his predictable outburst, as were the other Captains – after centuries of Zaraki Kenpachi in their midst, they had grown used to the undignified profanities, the menacing flares of spiritual pressure, and the excessive shouting. They would probably even miss those particular personality quirks if Captain Zaraki ever decided to improve his manners. But it was a prospect that seemed highly doubtful – although clearly operating under an undeniable and yet mystifying honour code, the man seemed to revel in the barbaric and uncivilized. Now, not that any of the Captains would ever admit it, for the fear of their lives, but the sight of an angry Zaraki was actually quite entertaining. Of course, it was provided that someone else was on the receiving end of his bloodcurdling glares and merciless violence.

"This is hardly the time to flood my division with more injured, Captain Zaraki, so try to restrain yourself this time." Captain Unohana's half-hearted, automatic response to the 11th Division Captain's solemn promise of punishment fell on deaf ears as usual. Attempting to stop one of Captain Zaraki's rampages was equivalent to attacking a vastro lorde without one's zanpakutou whilst blindfolded – it was simply something that could and should not be done, not even by a Captain. All that Captain Unohana could do was to prepare her poor, over-worked division for the inevitable increase of casualties from that particular squad. So she quickly diverted her attention to the commander of the 13th Division.

"Captain Ukitake?" The healer was thoroughly concerned about the young woman – her reaction had been most unexpected and quite unsettling. "I could not fail to notice that lieutenant Hinamori's behaviour was a little bit... well, a little bit odd. Her reaction to the news was very unlike her – in fact, she didn't seem to react at all. Considering the shocking nature of the news, and how she reacted to Aizen's betrayal... perhaps I should run some tests on her and..."

"No, no, I wouldn't worry too much if I were you, Captain. Of course, lieutenant Hinamori is shocked – I'm surprised that you didn't sense how she struggled to keep her spiritual pressure under control – but something tells me that she will survive on her own. She is not going to die with him; instead, she will live, even if she'll do so hesitantly. The poor girl is aching; I believe that Captain Hitsugaya and lieutenant Hinamori stood each other closer than either ever would admit, and she will grieve for him. In a way, the Captain is fortunate – he will never quite disappear, since she will never forget him. Nor will the rest of us..." The white-haired Captain grew quiet, and his veiled gaze turned inwards, wandering the distant corners of his mind. The young shinigami's last, furious battle would be forever locked into his vast memory.

The others noted his silence, sipped their tea, and remembered.

* * *

It is not over yet...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach.


	8. Aftermath

**Chapter 8: ****Aftermath**

* * *

_The days and weeks following his death were the longest of her life. She had felt as if she was permanently trapped in a desolate plane between denial and despair, suffocating in her sorrow. Despite that she _knew_ that Shiro was gone, she would sit in her quarters for hours, staring at the door expectantly._

_But he never came._

_She had thought that the immense pain would finally destroy what little sanity she had retained in the aftermath of Aizen's betrayal and the arrancar war. As she sat curled up in a corner of her dark living quarters during one of the many sleepless nights, her hands clutched tightly around her head, she had sworn that she could hear faint whispers of his voice, see a sliver of his white, flowing Captain's haori in the shadows, smell a trace of his scent of sweet watermelons, and feel a hint of his calming presence beside her. She would stagger to her feet; her eyes flaming wildly, as she fervently searched her quarters for a sign of him. _Could it be...?

_But he wasn't there._

_He never was._

* * *

After she left Captain Unohana's quarters, her head had been vacant of feelings and thoughts. She had just felt numb, empty, and unreal. But her feet had automatically walked in the direction of the 5th Division building and she hadn't stopped them, because she hadn't been certain if she remembered how. She had ignored the murmurs of condolences and the ill-concealed stares that followed her to her office, merely noting the speed at which news seemed to spread throughout Seireitei.

Normally, the division buildings of the Gotei 13 were places bustling with life, but all activity had ended the moment she stepped through the doors. She still hadn't said a word when she walked past stunned shinigami, opening the door to her office and gently sliding it shut behind her. An uncomfortable silence settled over the 5th Division; some of its members had hesitantly congregated outside her closed door, only to be met by the faint, but unmistaken sound of the careful rustling of papers.

Her squad had been worried, no _terrified_ by her composed behaviour – their hearts bled for their lieutenant, who, over a too short period of time, had lost the two people that had been the most important to her. _So what the hell was she doing back at the office, filling out reports as if nothing had happened?_

But those who had served under her command during the war had recognized the raw harshness under her inexpressive features, and a piercing iciness in her eyes. So they had stopped the young, more impressionable shinigami from invading her office with their heartfelt sympathies. No, the war veterans knew better than disturbing their lieutenant when she looked like that – she had covered herself in protective armour, shielding herself from everyone, friend and foe. They knew, because that was what they had done themselves when the battles had become unbearable and survival had felt so hopeless that nothing seemed to matter anymore.

They_ understood_, and because they did, they knew that they could do little to ease her pain. All they could do was to wait, give her their full support when she asked for it, and hope that she would pull through on her own. But she was _their_ lieutenant, and they were confident that somehow, she would come out on the other side. She was their lieutenant, after all.

When she finally slid open the door at the end of the day, she had been surprised to find a group of her squad members, seated officers and ordinary shinigami alike, waiting for her in silence. A young girl, whom she hadn't recognized from among her seats, had approached her tentatively, quietly informing her that the division was awaiting her orders.

Her hard eyes had weakened for a moment when she understood the true meaning behind the words. The division, _her_ 5th Division, had told her that they would follow her, even to the heart of Hueco Mundo, to wreak death and revenge on the despicable landscape that had killed him.

Her loyal division members had offered her the most precious thing that they owned: their lives.

All she had to do was to ask.

But reason had reminded her that invading Hueco Mundo with her severely weakened squad would be suicide, and, not to speak of utterly pointless – no amount of death could bring him back to her, no matter how great. So she had merely nodded her gratitude at the comment, and prepared to leave. Before she left, however, another unseated shinigami had softly said, "Just say the word, lieutenant."

Those exact words had been ringing in her ears as she used shunpo to take her to her quarters. She had decided against walking; she just couldn't bear another look filled with pity, or another awkward expression of sympathy. Although she knew that the shinigami around her only meant well, their acts of kindness only reminded her of the emptiness, and fuelled her grief. She just wanted to be left alone.

When she finally arrived to the safety of her dark quarters, she had carelessly flung her black robes on the floor, and wrapped herself in the blanket she had used when she slept on his couch. It still smelled faintly of him, but it was a poor substitute for the arms he had enveloped her with when they fell asleep that night before he left her...

What hadn't she been prepared to do in order to feel his deep breaths next to her once more?

_Nothing._

Renji and Izuru arrived outside her quarters only minutes after she had stepped inside. They had both left their divisions early to seek out their friend; to Renji's astonishment, Captain Kuchiki had pretended not to see him sneak out of the door well ahead of time. The news of Momo's odd behaviour had worried them, and they needed to ensure that she was alright. Or, rather, that she was as alright as the horrendous circumstances allowed her to be.

As they had stood outside the shut door, Renji and Izuru couldn't dispel the growing feeling of dread. How could they possibly hope to console her? Aizen had already robbed her of so much: her confidence, her trust, her vitality... he had taken so much of that which made her the Momo they had befriended back during their Academy days and the lieutenant they respected and admired. Now, her friend was dead, murdered by the man she had worshipped so blindly – the man _she_ once had been ready to kill for...

They couldn't imagine how she felt, or how they possibly could cheer her up. But that didn't matter: they would try regardless, simply because she was Hinamori Momo and they cared.

Renji had finally knocked on the door, uncertain of what would happen next – would she be in denial, in tears, in hysterics, in rage? He didn't know, but Hinamori Momo was one of his oldest friends and for her he would withstand whatever emotion she threw at him. Renji had glanced back at Izuru, whose pale face showed signs of both determination and fear, but mostly determination.

That was good enough. They were ready.

She had expected her peace to be disturbed by the inevitable visits from her worried friends, so she hadn't been surprised when she sensed the spiritual pressures of Renji and Izuru flicker outside her door. She had felt that they were nervous, and she had known why they were there. But she didn't want to see them – she didn't want to be reminded of black robes and kindness, and she definitely didn't want to 'talk about it'.

"Go away."

She had injected those two, simple words full with venom, surprised at how easy it was. She _knew_ that she was being unfair, and she _knew_ that she was being selfish. But she didn't care – she just wanted to be left alone, damn it, was that so much to ask for?

The unfamiliar hard tone of her voice had shocked her friends. Izuru had immediately taken a step back, but Renji did not give up so easily. So he had knocked again.

"Go away. _Please_."

The voice had sounded tired, almost pleading, and Renji misinterpreted it as her consent for them to enter her quarters. He had slowly reached out to slide open the door when they both felt it – suddenly her spiritual pressure spiked beyond anything they had ever felt from her. It radiated out her room with such strength that the two lieutenants were flung into the opposite wall. The sudden surge in her spiritual pressure had surprised her as much as it had surprised Renji and Izuru – she had never imagined herself capable of generating so much power, despite of her obvious abilities as a lieutenant. But at the time, she hadn't questioned the strange event, nor what could have caused it. Instead, she had been thankful that the persistent knocking finally ceased.

No one had dared to disturb her after the incident with the spiritual pressure – no one was foolish enough to agitate the lieutenant, who also happened to be one of the finest kidou masters of the Gotei 13. So her only mean of communication with the outside world had been the trays of food and the piles of paperwork that were left outside her door.

_Paperwork and reports. _

_Files and papers._

She had clung to the documents just like she had once before, praying that they could fill the hollowness in her soul and ease her laboured breathing. She had attempted to cover herself with the familiar, protective barrier to dull the scorching pain that seemed to sear through her entire existence, desperately hoping that the work would shield her from the emotions that were threatening to rip her to pieces. So, she had requested that the 5th Division's combined paperwork were to be delivered to her living quarters, and, surprisingly, that request had been granted, albeit hesitantly. She knew that her squad was worried – she had refused to go back to the office, or even to leave her quarters. But there had been no pathetic pleas for her return, no sharp reminders of the responsibilities and obligation she held to her division, and no threats of punishment from the Head-Captain.

No, it had seemed as if Seireitei had understood her need of solitude, for which she was grateful.

But the paperwork hadn't allowed her to forget. Instead, the documents had been sharp reminders of Shiro. He had been one of the most conscientious people she had ever known, and she had relentlessly teased him about his 'ridiculous' work ethics. Her good-natured taunts had earned her many icy glares and exasperated growls of "_Bed-wetter Momo_", but she had just giggled them off. She could easily decrypt his various moods to the perplexity of poor Matsumoto, so she knew where to draw the line. There had been times when a single glance at a particularly deep scowl – an irrefutable warning as not to test his patience – had immediately halted her teasing. Then, she had silently walked up to his desk, pulling up a spare chair next to him, and joined the attack against the piles of paper stacked high in front of him. But even with their combined forces, they would struggle for hours in order to complete the work.

But it had always been worth it – indeed, although she and Shiro were grossly outnumbered by seemingly never-ending stacks, they had never been defeated.

As she was sitting in her quarters, staring blankly at the multitude of white sheets in front of her, she would sometimes close her eyes and imagine that he still was sitting by her side, working away on a particularly time-consuming report. She had almost been able to hear the scratching sound when his pen came in contact with the paper. When she did, the pain had become bearable, if only for a moment, because she felt as if he really was there.

So she had stubbornly continued to rummage through the heaps of division paperwork that were left outside her door each morning: she continued to read the various papers and she continued to sign the reports.

--

As the days passed by, she had felt as if she would fall into an immense, bottomless black hole.

But she didn't mind. Once upon a time, Shiro had followed where she led, or at least that had been what she liked to think. First he had followed her to the Academy, and then he had followed her to the Gotei 13. But this time, she would follow him, and just as she had, all those years ago, he would be expecting her.

_So she didn't mind_.

* * *

Why is it that things always seem to be at their worst before they can get better?

I know that things are looking quite bleak and depressing for our heroine, but DONT'WORRY! I promise on my pride as the author that things **will** start to look up for poor Momo.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	9. Snap, Tobiume! Growl, Haineko!

_Author's Note__: So incredibly sorry, but I'll be off on holiday tomorrow, which is rather bitter-sweet. Sweet for obvious reasons (sleeping in, eating more unhealthily than normal, beach, sun... the list goes on and on), and bitter for equally obvious reasons (distractions and other nuisances that inevitably will prevent me from planning and possibly finishing up this literary journey). But I __**will **__try my hardest to update as often as I can, but I haven't even been able to secure a working Internet connection on location yet... So at the moment it looks pretty bleak for those plans. But, as I said, I __**will**__ try. In any case, I just wanted to say sorry in advance _– _I will not have forgotten about the story, I'll just be sitting somewhere gritting my teeth over a non-existent Internet. _Sorry, sorry, sorry_. If worse comes to worst, then I'll definitely update as soon as I get back in mid-August... Bleh._

_Have a great summer, all you lovely, lovely people who have read the story so far!_

**--**

**Chapter 9: Snap, Tobiume! Growl, Haineko!**

* * *

_But she never fell._

_She had balanced on the verge of oblivion, but she hadn't taken the last step._

_She hadn't been allowed._

* * *

She had prepared for another long, sleepless night when a resolute knock had shattered the stillness of her gloomy living quarters.

"Hinamori? I'm coming in." Without waiting for her disapproval, the door had slowly slid open, revealing Matsumoto's tall figure outlined in the moonlight behind her. But the shinigami standing in the doorway had been a mere shadow of the vivacious woman, who once had been the life of every party – Matsumoto had looked truly terrible: her lustrous locks had looked dull and lifeless and hung over her shoulders in careless abandon. But the expression in her eyes had been the most distressing – normally, they would have sparkled with intelligence and enough mischief to keep her surroundings on its toes, but that night they had contained only weariness and exhaustion. Matsumoto hadn't looked like that since the arrancar war...

Then she had seen it.

The white haori hanging comfortably from Matsumoto's shoulders...

_**She had taken his place.**_

A lump had formed in her throat, and ice seemed to spread throughout her body.

_**How dared she.**_

She had stared accusingly at Matsumoto, silently demanding an explanation.

"You're wondering about the haori." She had shuddered when the woman finally answered the unspoken question. But in her angry confusion, she failed to recognize the traces of haunted hollowness amidst the cold and detached tone. "The day after he returned, I was given the status of acting Captain. It's only temporary – as soon as the Head-Captain finds a suitable replacement, I will resign from office, and return to my duties as a lieutenant."

The simple explanation had filled her with disbelief and rage. How could Matsumoto speak so dispassionately about Shiro's death – how _dared_ she speak of a replacement so casually?! It was her _Captain_ that she was talking about! Why didn't she show more emotion? Didn't Matsumoto even _care_? Had she felt _anything_ when she took Shiro's place? How dared she abandon him like this?! How could she?! She had been his _lieutenant_, his _friend_ – he had _trusted_ her...

Suddenly, the image of Aizen had entered her mind. She thought that she had forced him out of her head a long time ago, but nonetheless, there he was in all his glory: Aizen Sousuke, her former Captain. She had trusted him completely and he had betrayed her without hesitation.

_Shiro... Matsumoto... Aizen... trust...betrayal...Shiro...Matsumoto...Aizen_..._Aizen..._

**Aizen**_._

_**Betrayal and abandonment... Why?! Why was it happening again?**_

"I see." She had turned her back on Matsumoto, hoping that the shinigami wouldn't sense her growing fury. So she never noticed the pained expression that crossed Matsumoto's face – no, she had been busy staring into the darkness, fighting with herself for control of her pulsating spiritual energy.

"Hinamori..." Matsumoto's voice had softened. "It has been weeks, we're all worried about you, and-"

That was when she had lost all control.

She had spun around, eyes blazing with anger and hatred, "Why should you be worried? Why should you care?! How _dare_ you take his place! He trusted you and you have abandoned him! You're a _traitor_, Matsumoto!" The wounded look in Matsumoto's eyes had not stopped her from continuing, "How does it _feel_ to wear his haori? How does it _feel_ to kno-"

The acting 10th Division Captain had silenced her with a furious slap.

"Don't you _dare_ say something like that – _you don't know_!" Matsumoto hissed, her voice sounding dangerously low.

"Oh, don't tell me that I don't know! He's not coming back, _he's gone_! He never promised that he'd return, but... he just _was_!" Both of her hands had been clasped over her burning cheek, but she had ignored the pain. "But he didn't come back. I see him everywhere, and I feel his presence, but he's never there... It _hurts_, Matsumoto, it _hurts_ all the time! It burns, it cuts, and it stings – it doesn't ever stop! How do I make it stop?! I'm so _tired_ – I'm so _tired_ of suffocating, of hurting, of feeling. _How do I stop feeling_?!"

She hadn't know why she told Matsumoto about the inescapable, gnawing pain that seemed to slowly consume her, but the words had flowed out of her mouth before she could stop herself. A feeling of shame had washed over her – only the weak revealed their vulnerability so openly, and she desperately wanted to be strong. What else did she have left?

An uneasy silence had surrounded them.

"Come. We're going to the training grounds." Matsumoto's unexpected request broke the silence, but did little to relieve the tension, which had threatened to crush them both.

"No." She had not wanted to go anywhere with that woman, especially not to the training grounds of Shiro's division. It would be too difficult, too painful... No, she wouldn't.

"It's an order, Hinamori. Get dressed. Now." Matsumoto had sounded strangely flat, hard, and leaving no room for a discussion.

"As you wish, _Captain_ Matsumoto." She had gritted her teeth, but she knew that she had little choice but to comply; Matsumoto officially outranked her, and refusing to obey the orders from a Captain was a serious crime. But, with a single word, she had effectively erased years of friendship and camaraderie. And it had taken her no more than a heartbeat.

--

After what felt like years, they had finally reached the 10th Division training grounds. She had quietly followed Matsumoto to a rocky plateau, trailing the acting Captain by a few steps. It had been sufficient in demonstrating her disgust, but not enough to earn her a disciplinary charge.

"We are going to talk, whether you like it nor not." Matsumoto had stopped a couple of meters ahead of her and when she had turned around, her face had been unusually grim.

"Fine." She had laced the word with poisonous contempt, but it hadn't seemed to deter 10th Division's acting Captain.

"How do you feel?"

The question had caught her completely off-guard, and she had stared at Matsumoto with suspicion. What kind of enquiry was _that_? But she had decided to wait for the other woman to clarify herself.

"Are you angry?"

_Angry?_ Why would she feel angry? Shiro, the single most important person in her life, had been _murdered_ by her own, former Captain. She felt devastated, heartbroken, crushed... but _angry_?

"No."

She had hoped that her short, curt reply would satisfy Matsumoto, so that she'd finally leave her alone. But the acting Captain hadn't given up, "It's alright to be angry."

She had felt how her body stiffened – what the hell was Matsumoto implying? How could she possibly be angry with Shiro? _She loved him_! Why couldn't Matsumoto understand that?!

"I'm not angry."

"But you are! Hinamori, who are you trying to fool? You can barely control your spiritual pressure!"

She froze. How could Matsumoto sense her violently fluctuating spiritual pressure? She had been very careful to suppress it, especially after she realized that only a fraction had been enough to send both Renji and Izuru head-first into a wall. She had suspected that the sudden surge of her spiritual energy had something to do with her pain, but she had never suspected... No, it simply couldn't be.

"I'm not angry!"

"Being angry doesn't mean that you love him less! It just means that you're normal, damn it! It's ok to feel like you do! It's ok!"

"No, it's not ok! Shiro loved me despite of everything I did – he _loved_ me! It is my fault that he died; it's my fault that he's not coming back! So no, I have no right to be angry!" She didn't know when she had started screaming, but she could hear her own voice echo around her. She had sounded desperate, aching – she had sounded as if she was in pain. "I'm not angry! _I'm not angry_!"

"You know as well as I do that Captain left because he wanted to protect you, to protect all of us. None of this has been your fault. He lived for you, you know. He always did. So stop _pretending_, and FEEL, damn it! If you keep on running way from your feelings, then you won't recover!"

Then something inside her had snapped, and she could no longer contain her raging emotions.

"_**AAARRGHH!**__" _

The scream had been filled with all of her pain, heartache, and confusion. Without thinking, she had unsheathed her zanpakutou.

"_**SNAP, TOBIUME!**_"

Her zanpakutou obediently transformed, and she had felt how her raging spiritual energy flowed from her body and into the blade. Tobiume had started to glow, but not in its usual deep pink – instead, it had blazed in a deep, flaming crimson.

The enormous boulders around her had then quickly been reduced to fine powder by her concentrated spiritual energy, and she had only slowed her attacks when the air became thick with dust particles and smoke. When she no longer could see her targets, she had finally been forced to stop.

Matsumoto's eyes had been wide with worry when her friend disappeared in the smoke, "Stop, Hinamori, stop! Tobiume... Hinamori? Why aren't you answering me?! Hinamori?! **Momo**! Damn it! Answer me!"

But she had ignored Matsumoto's shouts. Instead, she had focused on Tobiume's familiar presence that had softly entered her mind.

"_Little one, it has been a long time."_

"_Yes, Tobiume, it has."_

"_We have grieved."_

"_..."_

"_You have grown, little one."_

"_Maybe I have."_

"_You have changed."_

"_So have you."_

"_Soon... I can sense it growing. It will not be long now."_

"_I don't understand."_

"_No, you're not quite ready yet. But in time, you will be."_

"_Tobiume?"_

"_Yes, little one?"_

"_I feel different."_

"_You are."_

"_Why?"_

"_You will understand when you are ready to understand."_

"_I demand that you tell me, Tobiume!"_

"_First, you must learn to control yourself."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_..."_

"_Tobiume?"_

"_Yes, little one?"_

"_I..."_

"_I know, little one, I miss them, too..."_

_--_

When Tobiume's whispers faltered, she had directed her attention to the outside world once more; the dust had settled and the smoke had cleared to reveal a hesitant Matsumoto. The sight of the woman and the haori had once again filled her with bitter resentment. _Why_ did Matsumoto seem to understand what she was feeling better than she did herself? _Why_ didn't anything make sense anymore? _Why_ wasn't he still here?

"Hinamori?"

"Shut up."

"Your spiritual pressure, it–"

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Hinamori, you should–"

"Don't tell me what to feel!"

Her spiritual pressure had flared, but she couldn't and wouldn't do anything to stop it – when she channelled herself into Tobiume, she felt strangely calm, as if she was drained of her turbulent feelings if only for a moment. As she released more and more of her spiritual energy, the glow around Tobiume had grown and intensified. The crimson light had finally completely encompassed her, too – it had looked as if she was surrounded on all sides by a raging firestorm.

"You want me to stop? Make me." She had issued her challenge with an icy voice, making it absolutely clear that she would not retreat.

Then she had waited, watching Matsumoto, and appraising her reaction. The Captain had looked perplexed and concerned, but her eyes had not lost their expression of stubborn determination, and at last she had issued the command.

"Growl, Haineko."

_**Perfect.**_

--

Violent bursts of crimson light lit up the night sky over the 10th Division training grounds, while hazy streams of ash mercilessly cut through the air. The furious battle had demolished everything in a 100 meter radius of their clashes – they had used all the skills in their respective arsenals: kidou, shunpo, hakuda, and zanjutsu.

"Why are you fighting me, Hinamori?"

"You brought me here!"

"It was time."

"No!"

"You can't avoid him forever."

"Shut up!"

"He wouldn't have wanted you to fear him."

"I'm not afraid!"

"Then what are you?"

She froze midair, landing nimbly on her feet – she hadn't known what to say. Once again, Matsumoto's question had required an answer that she didn't have. There were so many questions, but so few answers.

**What am I? What **_**do**_** I feel?**

**Do I really feel anger? **

**I don't know.**

**I am... I am angry?**

**I don't know.**

**It just hurts.**

**Why?**

**I don't know.**

**It hurts.**

**I miss him.**

**Am I afraid?**

**I don't know.**

**It hurts.**

**I JUST DON'T KNOW!**

_**...So, what do I do?**_

**--**

Matsumoto had barely enough time to erect a protective shield around herself with Haineko, when the level of her spiritual pressure exploded. Momo had recognized the feeling from when Renji and Izuru had attempted to enter her quarters, but this time, she had not held back – instead, she had poured all of her spiritual energy into one last attack.

When the smoke finally cleared, both women had still been standing, but panting heavily and staring at the other. But no more attacks were made: Haineko's blade had disintegrated from the impact of the attack, while Tobiume's blade had shattered from the sheer force of the channelled spiritual energy.

Completely exhausted, both women had sunk to the ground.

Silence had settled over them, and while the atmosphere hadn't been overwhelmingly friendly, it had no longer been murderous – the tension had dissipated together with their energy.

"I hate you... Rangiku."

"It's not me that you hate, Momo."

"Then who?"

"You know who."

"I don't hate him. How could I hate him?"

"He left you."

"He loved me."

"I know. But still, you hate him for what he did."

"But..."

"You hate him because he won't come back."

"..."

"Hating that he's gone doesn't mean that you don't love him. It just tells you that you haven't forgotten how to _feel_, Momo. You're trying to collect the ruined pieces of that which broke when he died. There is no right or wrong way to do it."

"But... it's Shiro! I-I-I couldn't..."

"I hated him when the Captains brought him back, when they carried him away. I think that I still do...a little. It wasn't supposed to be this way, Momo. I'm just a lieutenant – I'm _his_ lieutenant. I'm not replacing him, because no one ever could...because he- When the Head-Captain gave me the haori, I didn't want it – I just wanted him back. _I just want my Captain back_!"

Matsumoto hadn't tried to conceal the tears that were rolling down her cheeks, and Momo's conscience stung for every drop. Those tears spoke of inconsolable grief and hurt, and they had told her everything that she needed to know.

She had been wrong, so utterly wrong – Matsumoto would never betray him.

But the former lieutenant never had the luxury of retreating from the world, and to slowly nurse her grief in peace; no one had really considered _her_ pain, the one who had been at his side for decades. Instead, Matsumoto had been forced to be brave for the sake of her subordinates, who were clinging to her now that their Captain was gone. She had been forced to face his abandoned desk and to wear the numbered haori that rightly should have been worn by him. Matsumoto had been forced to be strong for everyone except herself.

As they sat on the rocky ground, surrounded by the devastation from their battle, she realized just how much Matsumoto had suffered in silence, how much she hurt. So she had staggered to her feet, reaching over to her sobbing friend and pulling her close in a hesitant hug. She had treated Matsumoto like an enemy – _what if she now had lost her, too_?

But Matsumoto had nearly smothered her in her famous embrace.

When her friend finally released her, her body had felt unnaturally heavy and she sank back on the ground. But the feeling had been distinctly different from the dull exhaustion that had permanently plagued her mind ever since the day she received the horrendous news.

This feeling, this dazed weight on her limbs, had almost been _pleasant_.

She had already closed her eyes when she thought that she heard Captain Unohana's mild voice, "I recommend that both Captain Matsumoto and lieutenant Hinamori stay at the 4th Division tonight. Neither seems to have sustained any serious injuries, but I would prefer to keep them under observation just to be certain."

"That would seem an appropriate plan of action." A second authoritative voice had reached her ears, but this time it had belonged to a male. Who was he?

She hadn't bothered to open her eyes to find out; the smooth melodies of the voices and the spiritual pressures surrounding her had been soothing, assuring her that she was safe. She hadn't known why she had trusted them, but she had allowed herself to let go.

She had felt tired, so very tired.

"Maybe I do hate you, Shiro. But that is only because I-" she had whispered to herself before yielding to the warm, velvet darkness that enveloped her mind.

Yes, it would be nice to sleep.

* * *

Any and all thoughts about this chapter are appreciated.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	10. New Beginnings

**Chapter 10: New Beginnings**

When her heavy eyelids finally fluttered open, she had groaned as an unfamiliar, white ceiling slowly came into focus above her. Her head had been spinning, and although she could not detect any signs of immediate physical injuries, she had felt oddly drained.

The white walls, the white ceiling, the white bed covers... she had felt certain that they did not belong to her quarters. So, _where_-

"Good morning, lieutenant. I see that you're finally awake."

The voice had sounded familiar, but in her disoriented state, it had startled her and she shot up. But she immediately regretted her sudden, jerky movement as a wave of nausea washed over her. What the hell had happened to her? And _who_ was speaking?

As she slowly turned her head towards source of the sound, she was met by the blurred outline of a tall, black clad figure with long, white hair.

"You look very confused, which is understandable considering the circumstances. But you needn't worry, lieutenant Hinamori – you're in the 4th Division special ward."

"C-captain Ukitake?" She had desperately tried to focus on his blurry face as he carefully approached her in silence, finally settling down on a chair next to her bed.

She had looked at the Captain questioningly, but when he didn't speak, she turned her attention inwards to her own thoughts. What the hell was she doing in the 4th Division, and why was she in the special ward? That section was reserved for the recovery of ranked officers and particularly difficult cases. Did this mean that something serious had occurred? But she couldn't remember... And what was Captain Ukitake doing there? It was not customary for a Captain to make such social calls. After all, she wasn't a member of his family or even of his squad, so he was by no means obligated to see her...

As she tried to find a reasonable explanation of her sudden presence at the 4th Division, her thoughts were interrupted by flashes of hot, crimson light, the feeling of air and dust swirling around her, the loud clangs of clashing weapons, and distant screams saturated with pain. She had cast a quick look on the Captain next to her, but when he did not seem to see the bursts of red lights, feel the gusts of air, or hear the clangs and the screams, she concluded that the last drops of sanity finally must have left her.

"Do you remember what happened?" The Captain finally broke the silence, but his voice had contained none of its usual mildness.

"Happened? What do you mean, Captain?" Her voice had trembled despite of her best efforts to remain calm. She could not interpret the expression in his eyes, and the inquiring tone of his voice did little to expel her growing sense of dread.

"You have been sleeping for three days."

"Three days?" Fear had tightened its grip on her and its cold, scaly tentacles slid across her back, sending chills along her spine. It had been the second time that she woke up in the 4th Division special ward, disoriented and exhausted. It had also been the second time that she was greeted by the concerned features of a white-haired Captain shortly after awakening. Only, this time, it was different, since the Captain in question wasn't _him_...

Pain surged through her as she remembered his face at their first conversation after the coma. He had been on a mission to the living world, but the Head-Captain had granted her a few minutes after he had relayed his orders as usual. Shiro's eyes had revealed relief and pure happiness when he saw her, and he had brushed her stuttered and teary apology aside in his usual gruff and impatient manner. But the open bewilderment and the unmasked pain that briefly crossed his features when she asked him to save that bastard... It was more than she could bear. The expression in his luminous eyes still haunted her as she sat in silence, and she involuntarily gasped for air.

She had silently cursed herself for that display of weakness, and she prayed that Captain Ukitake hadn't noticed her sharp intake of air. But, of course, this hadn't passed the Captain by.

"Three days ago, acting Captain Matsumoto ordered you to accompany her to the 10th Division training grounds. Both of you released your zanpakutou."

His simple words cut through her with the merciless sharpness of midwinter ice, but she failed to fully understand what he was saying.

_**Had she really been at the 10th Division training grounds with Matsumoto? Had she really released Tobiume against a fellow shinigami in battle?**_

_**No. It simply couldn't be true. How could it be, when she hadn't left her quarters for weeks?**_

She had looked at Captain Ukitake suspiciously, but his face revealed no traces of lies or deceit.

_**So, it was true?**_

She clenched her palms so tightly that she had felt her nails digging into the soft flesh of her palms. But she had felt no pain, as she tried to collect her panicked thoughts.

So she had raised Tobiume against her own, against a Captain, against an innocent, against a friend... just like she had done that terrible night, prompted by nothing more than a flimsy piece of paper.

_**She had done it again.**_

It was a realization that still sickened her to the core of her being.

Suddenly, the crimson light in her mind shone brighter, its heat intensifying, and the clangs and howls in her ears grew louder. As in a dream, she saw two distant figures facing each other with unsheathed weapons, and she immediately knew who those figures were.

Then, she remembered – the crimson explosions originating from the tip of her own zanpakutou, the air thick with ash skilfully manipulated by Matsumoto, the furious clangs of Tobiume and Haineko as they clashed midair, her own pained screams, Matsumoto's tearstained face, the hug that confirmed beyond all doubts that one of her oldest friends would not abandon her, and the warm, all-enveloping darkness...

Matsumoto had forced her leave the safety of her quarters – she had forced her to confront his division, and to confront the suppressed pain that was gradually eating away at her bleeding heart and tattered soul. It had almost consumed her... and if it hadn't been for Matsumoto, she would have let it – she had been too tired to fight. She had believed that she was utterly alone in her grief, but Matsumoto had showed her that she'd been wrong, so very wrong...

"Do you remember now?" The white-haired Captain's voice had softened as it cut through the silence, and prompted her to lift her eyes to his face. But, to her surprise, his solemn expression had been replaced by a gentle smile, as if he had seen straight into her thoughts. "Then you understand why?"

"Yes."

It had barely been a whisper, but this time her voice had held firm despite that she felt as if she was going to break. She had done nothing to deserve Matsumoto's selfless kindness, especially not after her grotesque accusations. She winced at the memory of Matsumoto's eyes that were alight with rage and hurt when she had accused the acting Captain of betraying her friend and Captain...

"You released a large amount of spiritual energy, which placed a great strain on you. It's only natural for the mind and body to require a lengthy rest after such complete exhaustion. Although you sustained no serious physical injuries, you will most likely feel drained for about a week. However, Captain Unohana sees no reason to detain you here and you'll be free to go by the end of the day." The 13th Division Captain had lowered his voice conspiratorially after he dutifully delivered his fellow Captain's message to her patient. "I remember the aftermath of a particularly challenging training mission at the Academy that went slightly awry – I was out cold for a week... although, the incident was mostly Shunsui's fault to begin with. I believe that the incident between you and acting Captain Matsumoto to be equally trivial, and that there was no need to inform the Head-Captain or the other Squad Captains. Captain Unohana and acting Captain Matsumoto agreed with me."

"Yes, Captain. Thank you."

She had felt immensely grateful that the Captains hadn't reported her, despite of protocol. A lump formed in the back of her throat when she remembered Shiro's interception in her fight with Izuru shortly after the damned illusion of Aizen's bloodied body was discovered... At the time, she had been shocked by his seemingly callous behaviour, but later she understood that he had saved them both from further punishment... Releasing one's zanpakutou in Seireitei in such an irresponsible manner, and in particularly against one's own, was a serious offence. If the Head-Captain knew about this second incident, he would surely relieve her of her command...

_**Command?**_

She hadn't been anywhere near her division for weeks... What right did she have to still call herself lieutenant of the 5th Division? She had felt how the lump grew in the back of her throat, but it refused to disappear even when she swallowed repeatedly. She had never intended on doing so, but she had abandoned her division just like-

_Don't be as stupid as you look, Bed-wetter._

The voice that interrupted her thoughts had not been hers. It had belonged to Shiro. His familiar, serious tone had commanded her to stop comparing herself to her former Captain when she knew that it wasn't true – she was _nothing_ like him. She was _nothing_ like Aizen.

She would not turn her back on her subordinates and friends, and she would never betray her squad.

She would never abandon them.

Shiro would never have forgiven her if she did. Nor would she ever forgive herself.

She remembered that she had once told her squad members that as the 5th Division of the Gotei 13, they were braver than yielding to despair and prouder than allowing the past to interfere with the present. That had been in the aftermath of Aizen's betrayal, when her division still was chaotic, lost, and leaderless. It felt like centuries had passed since she had told them that – so much had happened in the meantime...

It was time to follow her own advice and to be brave – she had just fervently hoped that she still possessed the strength. She had already been away from the 5th Division for too long, and more than anything, she wanted to make them and Shiro proud.

"How do you feel, lieutenant Hinamori?"

The sudden and unexpected question roused her from her thoughts, but she when she raised her bowed head, she had focused her eyes on the white wall behind the Captain's head. It was the second time someone had asked her that particular question; but this time, that hurt had felt distinctively different. It was as if she knew that, this time her spiritual pressure wouldn't overwhelm her and crush her from the inside; it had seemed as if the battle with Matsumoto had purged her of the excess spiritual energy she had been building up while shut away in her quarters. So despite of the painful burning sensation pulsating through her body, she had felt strangely calm – this time she had an answer to that damned question and she tore her eyes away from the comforting whiteness of the wall to finally meet the Captain's steady gaze.

"I will live," she had simply said.

To this day, she still could not explain why she had chosen those words, but for the first time since the Captains returned to Soul Society, she had felt as if life would eventually return to her if only a little by little. She did not know how she could hope to adjust to a life without him, but she would try.

"Good. Your division has been anxiously waiting for your return." The Captain Ukitake rewarded her with a small but warm smile. "The Gotei 13 wouldn't have expected any less from one of its lieutenants... and Captain Hitsugaya wouldn't have expected any less from one of his friends."

She had been touched by his genuine kindness, and she had hesitantly returned his smile with one of her own.

"However, there is also something else that you should know." The Captain leaned back in his chair, and looked at her intently. "In your absence, acting Captain Matsumoto finally achieved bankai."

"Bankai? But Haineko...?"

She had stared at him in disbelief – it was no secret that Matsumoto and her zanpakutou had been training for bankai for years, but Haineko was almost as lazy as its wielder. But...that meant that when they fought, Matsumoto had purposively refrained from using her bankai, which surely would have put a quick end to their battle. Instead, she had allowed her friend to pour her excess spiritual energy into attack after attack after attack...

"When acting Captain Matsumoto accepted her current position, she doubled her training with Haineko. But it is still very surprising how quickly she achieved it."

"I see... so she is to remain as 10th Division's...acting Captain?" she had mumbled, as if she had only addressed herself. It had been difficult to speak of an 'acting Captain'.

"Well, yes, at least until the Head-Captain finds a suitable replacement." The 13th Division Captain had looked thoughtful. "Although, I see very little reason of removing acting Captain Matsumoto from her position – especially considering her recent achievement. Besides, her squad needs her, and I believe that she needs them, too."

"..."

"Lieutenant Hinamori?"

"He... he wouldn't have wanted anyone else to lead his squad."

Her whisper had been barely audible, and she knew that her voice sounded mechanical, but her words had been sincere. As much as it pained her, it had been true – she knew that Shiro would never have wanted a stranger to command his beloved division, nor that Matsumoto would allow someone to take his place. His former lieutenant had made that perfectly clear.

But nonetheless... in her mind, there would only ever be _one_ Captain of the 10th Division.

Stupid, _stupid_ Shiro... he had hidden it so well behind his usual, characteristic grumpiness, but she knew him better than to be fooled by that facade. No, she knew just how proud he had been when he had stepped in through the 10th Division doors for the first time to be greeted by his squad as its new Captain...

_Hitsugaya Toushirou _– the shinigami prodigy, the boy genius, the powerful wielder of the ice dragon Hyourinmaru, the stern commander of the 10th Division of the Gotei 13, the youngest Captain in Seireitei's long and proud history, the hero of the arrancar war.

_Shiro –_ the watermelon fiend, her childhood playmate, her fierce protector, her dearest friend, the one she would always love and miss the most.

He had worn so many masks, but only she had known, loved, and treasured all of them unquestionably and unconditionally.

"Acting Captain Matsumoto hardly left your side while you were sleeping," the white-haired man's voice had shattered her thoughts once again, but she had been thankful for the interruption. "But she was finally called back to her squad early this morning, when it was discovered that the 10th Division training grounds were in a dire need of extensive repairs. I can only imagine the mountain of paperwork concerning the mysterious cause of damage."

"Oh."Her conscience had guiltily reminded her of Matsumoto's decidedly hostile attitude towards paperwork.

"Well, I also need to return to my squad before Kiyone and Sentarou decide to come looking for me." Captain Ukitake stood up, and smoothed out his slightly wrinkled haori. "But I will leave you in the hands of your new, but capable 3rd Seat. Her name is Kobayashi."

"New 3rd Seat? Kobayashi?" The sudden news reminded her of just how long she had been away from her squad. She had wrinkled her forehead, desperately trying to remember someone with the name of Kobayashi, but her mind had been completely blank. She had wondered what could have happened to the old 3rd Seat. "Has something happened to Tanaka?"

"The former 3rd Seat, Tanaka Emon, is now 4th Seat of your division. But it is unsurprising that you don't recognize that name – young Kobayashi is a former 4th Seat of my own squad. It became apparent that 3rd Seat Tanaka was not yet prepared to lead the 5th Division single-handedly in your absence. But when the Head-Captain asked for my opinion in the matter, I recommended the temporary appointment of a Seat from another division as commanding officer of your squad until you returned. I strongly opposed the idea of appointing a new Captain – considering the additional strain that your division had been under at the time, it seemed premature." The warmth in Captain Ukitake's voice revealed his pride over his former seated officer. "However, even I must admit that I was quite surprised that a 4th Seat was chosen for the task, but she settled into her role quite well. She has led the 5th Division together with Tanaka in your absence, but both are anticipating your return. I doubt that Kobayashi will return to my squad, so I have already made the proper preparations to make the transfer permanent. But this is of course your decision."

"Thank you for your help, Captain. 5th Division and I are in your debt." She had been genuinely touched by his thoughtfulness – it was rare for a Captain to agree to sudden transfers of such highly-ranked officers. When considering the aftermath of a war, which had thinned also the ranks of the seated shinigami, Captain Ukitake had made a substantial sacrifice.

The Captain rewarded her with a quick smile and a nod before disappearing out of the room.

She had remained seated in the bed, quietly contemplating this last piece of news. A new 3rd Seat from the 13th Division, who had led the squad for weeks... How would this shinigami react to her return?

"Excuse me, lieutenant Hinamori?" The voice had come from a petite young woman standing hesitantly in the doorway. She was clad in ordinary black robes and her long, brown hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail. With the exception of the thin, silver necklace with a white, milky stone that hung around her neck, the woman looked quite ordinary by shinigami standards – pretty, but otherwise nondescript.

She only entered the room after Momo nodded her approval, clutching a dark green clipboard tightly to her chest. But once she had carefully sat herself down on the chair next to the bed, she smiled a broad, friendly smile.

"_My name is Kobayashi Miyuki and I'm very glad to finally meet you."_

* * *

Ta-da! And here I proudly introduce my own creations Kobayashi Miyuki and, to a lesser extent, Tanaka Emon, into the mix! Other original characters will be added to the story further down the line, but since this is my first attempt at creating my own characters, they'll only make up the 'supporting cast', so to speak, in order to flesh out the plot.

On another note: to you wonderful people who have left reviews and messages, I have tried to reply to all of you, but I'm not sure if you have received my messages. I have just clicked on the "reply message" button, which I hope has been working!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	11. Sayonara

_Author's Note: My sincerest apologies for the long silence, but I'm finally back. So with no further ado, I'm proud to present the longest chapter yet._

--

**Chapter 11: Sayonara**

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun! It must have been _decades_ since you last went on a reconnaissance mission," Matsumoto had begged with her best pout. "Besides, from what I have heard and seen, you definitely need to get out of the office – filling out paperwork all day simply isn't _healthy_!"

"You _have_ been working a lot lately, lieutenant – even more than usual..." A shadow had briefly crossed over Kobayashi Miyuki's features, before it was replaced by her usual chirpiness. "What's more, things have been unusually quiet in Soul Society lately, so why not take the opportunity and go before something inevitably happens?"

She had silently cursed the fact that Matsumoto and her own 3rd Seat had joined forces against her. After a tiresome and lengthy discussion, it had become clear that she wouldn't hear the end of it at work _or _in her spare-time if she refused. But it had annoyed her that both Matsumoto and Kobayashi failed to understand that it simply wasn't _necessary_ for her to go on this mission – neither her particular skills or experiences were crucial, or even required, for its success – and the piles of papers stacked high on her office desk were not going to write themselves... especially not when the mission in question was scheduled to begin as soon as the following day.

"Ah, and don't forget Yamamoto's orders..." Matsumoto's voice had acquired a disturbingly playful, sing-song quality, and Momo had looked at her tall friend with weary anticipation. "_I'm_ in charge of this mission and, therefore, _I'm_ also responsible for the selection of the members of the team. So, congratulations, 5th squad lieutenant and 3rd Seat –_ I've chosen __you_."

Matsumoto had grinned a little bit too wide, Miyuki had looked a little bit too pleased, and she had barely resisted the urge to slap her own forehead in frustration. Unfortunately, all that Matsumoto had said were true: the Head-Captain _had_ entrusted the command of the mission to her, she _had_ the right to choose the members of her team...and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do about it. So she had accepted defeat – all that remained had been to resign herself to her fate with as much dignity and defiance as she could.

"If that's the case, then I'll accept... although it is a _dubious_ honour to be chosen." She had been admittedly disappointed when her comment was met with nothing but unfazed calm. "But I'm _only_ agreeing to this because of the Head-Captain's orders and that I'm concerned about the recent hollow sightings. This needs to be thoroughly investigated – it would be irresponsible to ignore it."

"Of course," Matsumoto had nodded in agreement with feigned solemnity before winking at Miyuki, who beamed back at her. "Well, our little mission was a complete success, I'd say."

This time, she hadn't even tried to muffle the loud sigh that escaped from deep inside of her chest. _Of course! _Why hadn't she suspected anything when Matsumoto had reminisced about her previous outings to the living world with an unusual degree of sentimentality? The acting Captain and the 3rd Seat had obviously planned this from the very moment that the Head-Captain made his announcement. Why had their efforts even surprised her? Really, she should have learned by now...

"Yes, Captain. My apologies, lieutenant, but it seems that it can't be helped." Miyuki had wisely avoided eye-contact with her less-than-amused superior, and had instead skimmed through some papers that were attached to her clipboard. "Well, this must be the second extended mission to the living world this year, and Head-Captain Yamamoto-Genryuusai put 10th Division in charge of this one, too?"

"It's the third mission to be precise. But it makes sense, since reconnaissance is one of our many specialities after all." The acting Captain never missed a chance to praise her squad, and that time hadn't been an exception. "But, Miyuki, I don't know how many times that I've told you to stop with all the formalities – we're all friends here!"

"Yes, Captain." Miyuki had smiled brightly at a disgruntled Matsumoto, who knew better than arguing with the stubborn 3rd Seat. "So, who else did you pick for the mission other than my lieutenant and me?"

"Well, Ikkaku and Yumichika will provide the firepower and blood thirst as usual..."

A slight frown had settled on Matsumoto's face – it was difficult to assemble a reconnaissance team that not only would be a successful combat combination and fit in with the humans if necessary, but whose members could simply _get along _for the duration of the mission. When her Captain had led the expeditions, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Renji, and Rukia normally joined them – a combination that had worked surprisingly well. But, when she thought about it, had the success of his missions ever been in any real doubt? Captain had always seemed to know exactly what to do... She could only hope to lead their squad half as well as he had. She felt that she owed it to the squad members, whose silent support those first nightmarish days after her 'promotion' had assured her that although he was gone, _she_ was still needed... that _she _still needed to live. She owed it to Momo, who had gone through hell and back but still, somehow, had managed to retain her sanity. But most of all, she owed it to herself. She would not forget that she was an officer of the Gotei 13, and an officer did not admit defeat to anyone or anything, not even to her own insecurities and fears. Her Captain taught her that, simply by the way that he had lived.

"...but since Kuchiki is keeping Renji busy with something or another, I decided to bring my lieut-... er, well, I decided to bring Shinji on this assignment. It'd be his first reconnaissance mission, but I think-"

"Although he's officially your 3rd Seat, you might as well call him your lieutenant," she had interrupted quietly. "After all, Shinji performs all the duties of one, including a fair share of the paperwork. And... you're not a lieutenant anymore, Matsumoto – you are the Captain of the 10th Division."

Matsumoto had now been acting squad Captain for almost five years, and there had been no signs that she would be replaced. Although she had stubbornly refused to take the Captain Proficiency Test, which she most likely would pass with flying colours, she had unofficially assumed the role of a permanent Captain; lacking any other candidates for her position, this had been deemed to be a satisfactory arrangement that even the Captains had come to tolerate with time.

But the moment Momo had uttered 'Captain of the 10th Division', the hurt in her chest had been undeniable – although she had said it hundreds of times and _knew _that Matsumoto truly deserved that title, it still felt _wrong._

"I'm still just the _acting_ Captain." Matsumoto had looked her in the eye defiantly, but her voice had softened as if she understood her friend's internal struggle. "But yes, I will bring Shinji. I did talk to Shuuhei first, though – Shinji is, after all, his younger brother. But Shuuhei agreed that the mission would provide him with valuable experience." Matsumoto's eyes had suddenly glittered dangerously with ill-masked mischief. "Besides, I think my Shinji's got a sweet spot for a certain 5th Division lieutenant... What do you think, eh, Miyuki?"

"Errrr, C-captain? P-p-perhaps you should, err..." Miyuki's face had assumed an expression of acute desperation, as it cautiously peeked out from behind the safety of the clipboard that she had held in front of her as if to physically shield herself from her lieutenant's inevitable wrath. It was a well-known fact that the once light-hearted Hinamori did not take kindly to even slight, good-natured prodding into her private life, and that her retaliations were swift and ruthless. From the familiar hard look in Hinamori's eyes, Miyuki knew that this time would not be an exception.

"Matsumoto Rangiku! We _have_ talked about this, remember? Or do I need to refresh your memory..." Momo had growled menacingly. As usual, Matsumoto's clumsy implication had not been lost on her, and, contrary to the obvious intent, Momo didn't find it the slightest amusing. Only two people had ever been entrusted with full access to her mind and heart; one had used that privilege to mercilessly rip her to shreds, while the other had searched amid the devastation to save that which could still be saved... It was not a matter to be taken lightly.

"Sorry, Hinamori." The offender in question hadn't been the slightest apologetic – while Matsumoto was fully aware of the fact that Shinji's interests were directed elsewhere, she was pleased that her comments had been met by a reaction. It was her way to attack the protective shields that Momo had raised around her and which she seldom lowered, even for her friends. "But you can't deny that you two _do_ seem really close, and he seems to find himself in your division more often than not, so it's only natural for... errr... um..."

It was the full power of her most icy glare that had finally silenced Matsumoto, who too late realized that the gentle teasing had gone a little bit too far. Words had not been necessary for Momo to make it exceedingly clear that the 10th Division acting Captain had crossed the line and would do best in an immediate retreat before the consequences would _really_ become dire.

"Heh. Er, before I forget, there is one more thing regarding the mission. We're all meeting tomorrow morning at exactly 8 o'clock by the 1st Division building for a last briefing by Yamamoto." Matsumoto had wisely heeded to the warning, and was nervously wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. "So, don't be late, and... I'll see both of you there." With those words and a wave, Matsumoto had hurried towards an unknown destination in the opposite direction.

Momo had looked after Matsumoto's disappearing figure disapprovingly before turning to her 3rd Seat, "Miyuki, could you please go ahead and inform our squad of our mission tomorrow? Tell them that all training sessions in the living world are suspended until we have completed the investigation, but that all other assignments are to be completed as normal. Tanaka will be left in charge, and if there are any unprecedented problems, he is to report to Captain Ukitake. That's all."

"Yes, lieutenant."

Miyuki had dutifully set off towards the 5th Division, leaving Momo to her own thoughts.

It had been five long years since Shiro died, and yet it had felt as if she had received the horrible news only yesterday... the ache he left behind had not subsided, not that she thought that it ever would, but the unbearable pain had dulled somewhat with time. It had slowly but inevitably become a part of her life, a part of her – she felt it when she opened her eyes in the morning, she felt it when she saw the 10th Division building, she felt it when she drilled her squad and when she filled out her paperwork, she felt it when she walked among the blossoming cherry trees, she felt it when she was on a mission, she felt it when she was among friends, she felt it in her sleep... she felt it each year when autumn slowly yielded to the first signs of winter.

She had stared into the air, absentmindedly stroking his star that was securely fastened on her obi sash next to Tobiume. Its presence soothed her thoughts, and as usual, she felt reassured by its familiar chill. It confirmed that she had survived, if only barely...

"Good afternoon, lieutenant Hinamori!"

She had met the warm grin of the tall 10th Division officer with a nod and a small smile of her own. At the time, Hisagi Shinji had been a relatively new addition to the numbers of higher-ranked shinigami of the Gotei 13, but much like his older brother, he had quickly distinguished himself from among the other seated officers of his division to finally reach the coveted rank of 3rd Seat. He had gradually been entrusted with duties that would normally have been placed on the shoulders of the division lieutenant; but he bore them with pride, a great deal of patience, and with occasional pointers from his more experienced sibling.

"Shinji, I hear that you'll be going on your first reconnaissance mission tomorrow? Congratulations."

"Thank you. Captain _finally_ asked me to come with her. I've never spent such a long period of time in the living world before, but I'm certain that it'll be interesting." Shinji had excitedly nodded his affirmative before a flush briefly settled on his face as he continued, "Um, I just heard that my Captain managed to convince you to join us. So...err, I just wanted to ask...err... about... um... Kobayashi. Will...err... she... um... come, too?"

"Yes, she will, and I think that it's safe to say that her enthusiasm exceeds mine."She had hardly been able to hide her amusement – it had become increasingly apparent that the hopelessly shy Shinji was utterly and desperately enamoured with the oblivious Kobayashi Miyuki.

"Oh, that's good!" the man had beamed at her, completely and blissfully ignorant of the transparency of his crush. But little did he know that most of Seireitei's numerous inhabitants were well aware of his predicament and had been following his progress with much interest.

"It is hardly her first time in the living world, but reconnaissance missions are very different from ordinary soul burial assignments... However, I'm not particularly worried about her – she can hold her own if she has to."

"Yeah, I've seen her train – she's not only a good shinigami, she's also really very pret-" Shinji had caught himself just in time, but was now blushing furiously. "Err, I mean, she's... errr... she's pret-...pret-_pretentious_! But... um... I mean... err... in a good way. Ahh, confidence in one's skills is important, right, lieutenant? Err... I mean..."

"Shinji."

"Um, yes?"

"This mission will give you two a chance to finally get to know each other a bit better, don't you think?" She had looked up at the flustered Shinji with an innocently neutral expression on her face, while, inside, her stomach had squirmed uneasily as a familiarly bitter-sweet sensation washed over her. Although she had approved of Shinji and genuinely wished him all the luck in Soul Society in his pursuit of Miyuki, she found it difficult to... She hadn't even been able to pinpoint the nature of her uneasiness, which stabbed at her heart. Was it jealousy? Sadness? Regret? She didn't know, nor did she want to dwell on it – she had feared that it would hurt too much. There were some wounds before which even time stood powerless... and she had so many.

"Ahh, I don't... Ehh... Err... Umm... I'll see you tomorrow morning, lieutenant." Shinji had tried, and spectacularly failed, to hold on to what little dignity he had left.

_--_

Hollows had closed in on them from all sides until they were completely surrounded. Fortunately, the confrontation had taken place on an abandoned field some distance way from Karakura Town itself, which considerably lessened the possibilities of human casualties. She had quickly deduced that the hollows were of sub-menos level, which meant that they theoretically should be relatively easy to overpower. But she had still been deeply concerned about the situation; while the most pressing danger hadn't been their destructive powers, the sheer numbers worried her. How could there be so _many_?

The sudden turn of events, which had taken place only hours after their arrival in the living world, was hardly the "fun" that Matsumoto had promised her. She remembered how she had wondered what that hell Kurosaki could have been doing for the situation to be so out of control.

Kurosaki Ichigo, the orange-haired shinigami representative.

She had been one of the few senior officers that had never met him in person, but she knew the stories about his frightening potential and remarkable proficiency in battle – not to speak of his odd assembly of friends: a Quincy, a girl with healing powers that were said to rival even Captain Unohana, and a quiet man possessing incredible strength. Rumours had it that these humans had fought Aizen's arrancar and hollows while battle raged in Soul Society, but the full extent of their efforts had remained unknown to everyone except for the Captains, of course.

However, regardless of their exact role in the conflict, she was touched by their courage – Kurosaki may have been a shinigami representative, but he was first and foremost _human_, as were the others. It was as _humans _that they had risked their lives to defend their world and they had, if only by extension, also helped to save Soul Society. But even more importantly, Kurosaki and his friends had fought Aizen for the right to that which was _theirs_. They had fought for their homes, their families and friends, and for their freedom. She understood what that meant, possibly better than anyone.

_Kurosaki Ichigo, Ishida Uryuu, Inoue Orihime, Yasutora Sado._ She had hoped that she would finally get the opportunity to meet them. However, it had been obvious that her first meeting with the humans wouldn't be during that particular battle – the orange-haired youth and his friends had been nowhere to be seen. But judging from the magnitude of the mess, it had seemed likely that they were detained elsewhere with problems of their own.

One particular thought had troubled her as she stared at the despicable horde of hollows: _what _could have attracted so many to Karakura Town, and _why_ had they gathered in this particular place? Hollows normally entered the living world to feed, so something powerful must have drawn them to this desolate place.

"This is such an ugly situation," Yumichika had wailed, nervously fussing over his decorative feathers. "What if one of these beasts dares to scratch me... Oh, my beautiful face!"

"EH? Who CARES?! Come on!" Ikkaku had roared in anticipation of a good fight, sweat glistening on his bald head.

"Yeah, let's go! What are we waiting for?" Shinji had tried his best to sound convincingly manly, while casting an expectant glance in Miyuki's general direction.

"Quiet, everyone, and don't be so reckless! We can't throw ourselves into battle like a bunch of idiots – we need a _plan_!" Miyuki had yelled over the commotion, blissfully ignorant of the disappointed look in Shinji's eyes. "Any thoughts, lieutenant?!"

"Um..." She had felt how four pairs of eyes fell on her, expectantly awaiting her instructions.

"I hate to pull rank on you," Matsumoto had interrupted her just as one of the hollows separated itself from the rest and lunged forward with a bloodcurdling screech, but only to disintegrate midair after the acting Captain's swift and decisive blow with Haineko. "But let's just do what it takes to clear up this mess and to stay _alive_!"

"**Understood!**"

She had unsheathed Tobiume and in the corner of her eye, she saw that the others had done the same. The shinigami had waited for the highest-ranking officer to give the order, and when it finally came, six commands had pierced the air.

"Growl, Haineko!"

"Spread your poison, Shinkou Muchitsujo!"

"Grow, Houzukimaru!"

"Bloom, Fuji Kujaku!"

"Snap, Tobiume!"

"Shriek and shiver, Junseiuindo!"

--

The battle had been more difficult and longer than anticipated, and the magnitude of the resulting devastation was considerable. She remembered that she had wondered just how the humans in Karakura Town explained the mysterious destruction that seemed to haunt their city. But she hadn't been overly concerned – when the battle finally came to an end, they had all still been alive.

"Listen up, everyone, this is important." Matsumoto had brushed a bloodstained lock of hair away from her face before she continued, "Urahara has prepared our gigai, which are waiting for us at the store. We will meet with Ichigo and the others tomorrow, and they can hopefully tell us more about the situation. Miyuki?"

"Yes, Captain. However, until we have gathered more information about the rise in hollow attacks, we are not to interact with other humans beyond that which is necessary." Miyuki had dutifully continued to relay the Head-Captain's instructions. She had sheathed Junseiuindo, while miraculously producing her clipboard from somewhere in her frazzled robes. "Then, our orders are to integrate into society as transfer students at Kurosaki Ichigo's school."

"Yeah, yeah, we know – no playing with the humans yet." Ikkaku had rubbed his soot-covered head in annoyance, while donning a bored expression. "But let's go. I'm hungry and it looks like it's gonna start raining."

"Yes, could we go, _please_? I need to rid this-this _mucus_ from my person immediately!" Yumichika had looked down on his robes, which were covered in a sickly purple liquid, and his normally serene face had been contorted with disgust. "It burns my delicate skin... _just look at me_! I-I look... _ugly_!!"

"Alright, come on." Matsumoto had led the procession, supporting the weight of a heavily limping Shinji. He had a deep gash in his left leg, the result of an attack that had not been meant for him but for the petite 3rd Seat of Squad 5. In the confusion of battle, he had seen that particular hollow in the corner of his eye, panicking when Miyuki hadn't seemed to sense the danger. The beast had been about to strike her from behind when he roughly pushed her aside – while she had escaped its razor sharp claws, he hadn't been so lucky. But despite of the pain, he had gritted his teeth and continued to fight – he had protected her, and that had been reason enough for him to continue.

Just as she had prepared to follow the others, a sudden movement from under some nearby trees had caught her attention. She had immediately thought that the shadowy figure had belonged to a hollow, but something had prevented her from destroying it with a simple but destructive kidou spell. The shadow had not attacked, but slowly and carefully retreated in the opposite direction. When she looked closer, she had drawn a sigh of relief, glad that she hadn't unleashed her kidou expertise on the unknown figure. Although the shape had been partially hidden by the trees – judging from its height and size – she had been fairly certain that it belonged to a human male.

At a closer inspection, she concluded that her initial guess had been correct. But she had merely shaken her head; the poor man must have borne witness to at least some of the, to him, unexplainable destruction. But there was nothing she could do – he couldn't see her, and even if he could, how could she possibly explain the battle, her torn, blood-soaked black robes, and the zanpakutou by her side?

But to her surprise, the man had suddenly stopped backing away and had seemed to look right at her. This had given her a chance to inspect him more closely: he seemed quite ordinary for human standards. As far as she could tell, he was of average height with black hair. But before he had turned around and finally disappeared among the trees, she had noticed _one _feature which differentiated him from all the humans, hollows, pluses, arrancar, and shinigami she had ever seen – save for one.

_**His eyes were perfectly emerald.**_

The air had suddenly felt nauseatingly thick, and her breathing had become laboured. Despite of the distance between her and the human, she had seen those eyes, those painfully _beautiful_ eyes, alight with life. She had seen eyes like those only once before.

Something wet had trickled down her cheeks, collecting at her jaw line before falling to the ground, and she had raised her shaking hands to her face in wonder.

**Were those **_**tears**_**? Was **_**she**_** the one crying?**

Until that moment, she hadn't allowed herself to cry. She hadn't shed any tears, not even once, since his death. But when she saw those _eyes_, a chink had appeared on her iron-clad resolve, and, for every passing second, the rift had grown until there was nothing left to stop her eyes from watering.

She had been afraid of tears, contemptuously discarding them as signs of weakness. But as she stood there, alone and shielding her face with her hands, she had not felt helpless – no, she had felt as if she had recovered something important, something that she had given up as long lost. It had felt as if a weight had slowly begun to lift from the depths of her soul – she had carried her unshed tears for so very long.

Then she had raised her face towards the darkening heavens, whispering, "Sayonara."

_**Goodbye.**_

As that lone word left her lips, the skies had begun to cry with her – heavy water drops had hit her face until salty tears and rain became one. While she had since long accepted that he was dead, that acceptance had felt strangely incomplete, as if there was something _more_, something she had missed. It had not been until she regained the courage to cry that she had understood what that was.

She never said goodbye to him.

Yes, it was first when she stood in the rain that she finally brought herself to bid him farewell. But that goodbye had not signalled an end to her grief – no, she could never lock him away in a little box to gather dust with all of her other memories. No, the knot in her stomach would never quite unravel, nor would the merciless gnawing at her heart ever cease to haunt her. The hurt would never disappear because she was incomplete without him, her dearest friend.

Instead, her goodbye had been a promise never to forget.

* * *

So, let me introduce Shinji! I decided to make him Hisagi Shuuhei's younger brother, since I hoped that the relation would anchor him in the story a little bit better than merely introducing him as Matsumoto's lieutenant/ 3rd Seat. Also, when I mention Shinji's rise among the seated officers, I play on the fact that Shuuhei is a bit of a shinigami prodigy himself. I was trying to avoid a super-talented original character that suddenly comes out of nowhere to save the day, by suggesting (by simple association) that the talent could run in the fictional family. Did I come close to succeeding? I honestly don't know.

I hope you liked the chapter :)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	12. Rooftop Musings

_Author's Note: I have actually rewritten/edited all the chapters so far (including this one), so if you're interested or have a lot of time on your hands, you're welcome to go back and have a look. I admit that the changes are minimal, so you might not be able to tell the difference right away; I undertook the mission of rereading and rechecking my work not to change the story, but to improve the overall flow of the existing plot. So I made no substantial changes to the plot itself (although, I did change Zaraki's rant in Chapter 7. I think that it's funnier now.) I added some details here and there, cut unnecessary bits, checking for spelling inconsistencies, etc. One major difference, however, is my use of italics. Before, I used italics to indicate dialogue, but I realized that for longer conversations (Chapter 5 in particular), the italics really were a nuisance to read. I don't know about you, but my eyes got a little tired when I looked it over, so I changed it for all chapters. From now on, I'll just use italics for inner monologues/for emphasis on thoughts. Sorry about the inconsistencies, but I hope that it'll now be a bit easier to read._

_--_

**Chapter 12: Rooftop Musings**

Forget him?

_Never._

How could she forget someone who had played such a large part in her life, someone who had been so very important? Someone who still meant so much, even now after so many years...

She just wished that it wouldn't _hurt_ so damned much every time her mind came close to-

The brush of a delicate wing against her cheek brusquely interrupted her musings, severing her on-going chain of thought. She wrinkled her forehead in response to the sudden disturbance, while her mind rushed to make sense of the gentle touch.

_A wing? A Hell Butterfly?_

At a closer inspection, she realized that the wing indeed belonged to one of Seireitei's fragile messengers. She also realized that her limbs were feeling rather stiff; that cool wind was gently tugging at her hair and robes; and that she was neither in her office, nor in her quarters. She blinked twice, surveying her surroundings, only to slowly recognize where she was.

_The rooftop._

Of course, where else would she be?

_She was back._

Yes, she was still sitting on the rooftop overlooking Seireitei. Only now, the sun was no longer rising through the crisp morning air; instead, it was firmly anchored high on the pale blue sky, and judging from its position, it was a little after midday. Considering just how long she must have been sitting there, deep in her own thoughts, it was a wonder that no one had noticed her. Usually, she left long before anyone else woke up, but today had been different. Today, she had been completely oblivious to the on-goings of the rest of the world. _Strange_...

She briefly turned her attention to the shinigami, who were going about with their everyday business far below her feet. She could only guess as to the nature of their missions and destinations: walking toward their squads, heading to the training grounds, rushing to relay orders, preparing for soul burial missions in the living world, carrying piles of paperwork to other divisions, hurrying to complete the various tasks set by their Captains and lieutenants...

In other words, it was an ordinary day, and Seireitei was bustling with life and excitement as usual. It was difficult to imagine that this comfortable routine had ever been disturbed, or that there had been a time when those very streets and walkways had been lined with injured, confused, and frightened shinigami. She had lived through the war and the terror, and yet, in the warm sunshine, it all seemed so distant. After all, at least twenty years must have passed since she walked among the ranks of her squad, offering encouragement to the brave shinigami who had never once hesitated to follow her to battle. Even when the number and the power of their enemies had overwhelmed them, even when they had been forced to retreat, even when the bodies of their comrades were littering the fields outside Rukongai, even when fear had gripped even the bravest of her seats – not even then had they questioned her. They had known that she would not yield, and therefore, nor would they.

_Twenty years_...

It was strange – sometimes, she wondered if as much as two whole decades really could have passed since the end of the devastating war, since the Captains returned from Hueco Mundo with a broken body and the confirmation that Aizen had finally died. Sometimes, she wondered where all of those years had gone. Yes, while twenty years had been enough to replenish the ranks of the Gotei 13 and for the selection of a new Central 46 Chambers, it had not been nearly enough time to completely erase the distrust and suspicion that still hovered over Seireitei... nor had it been enough to mend shattered lives, or broken hearts.

Not that she considered her own heart as broken, of course... at least not anymore. It couldn't be – whenever she let a hand rest lightly over her chest, she felt its regular beats under the layers of fabric, skin, bone, and tissue. How could it be broken when she had painstakingly mended it over the years, a little piece at the time? But even she knew that although it was mended, it wasn't whole either...

Again, she was thankful that no one had seemed to have noticed her, as she was sitting on the roof. It was her secret, her only indulgence, and she did not want others to know that she often would come to that particular place to simply watch the sun rise over Soul Society. The triumph of light over darkness never failed to amaze her; she often had the urge for absolute reassurance that there was no such thing as perpetual night, and although she thought of her behaviour as embarrassingly childish, the first rays of light always stilled her fears.

The morning silence also provided her with a rare opportunity to think without any outside interruptions or disturbances. Those early mornings were _her_ time – the time for quiet reflection and remembrance. It was the time for all the things that she normally pushed into the deepest corners of her mind; the things that she never dealt with in public; the things that no one else would ever be allowed to see; the things that she hardly wanted to see herself.

So when she relaxed her iron-clad control over her wandering thoughts, she knew that she was making a monumental mistake – she _knew_ that her actions would only bring her pain. But there had been something unexplainably special about the fragile stillness of that particular sunrise... it was as if the air itself had been holding its breath, and she had yielded to its quivering anticipation. The moment that she relinquished control, she had known that it would only be a mere matter of moments before her memories would roam her mind unchallenged, eventually overwhelming both her resolve and her reason. She had known as she plunged headfirst into the familiar, thrashing maelstrom of darkness, hurt, and confusion that she knew so well.

There had been a time when that maelstrom had been a placid lake filled with sunlight, laughter, beauty, and warmth. But she could hardly remember that time, as she stood powerless before the surges of memories of Aizen, death, war, and... Shiro. A confused mass of fragmented thoughts and feelings that she had buried deep inside her soul were mercilessly brought to the surface once more; badly healed wounds had been reopened, and had once again begun to bleed.

The hellish thoughts always refused to leave her in peace until she relived them in her mind, one by one. Oh, how she loathed it, she loathed herself when she lost control and when she allowed the past to cripple her grasp of the present! She loathed how she bowed in submission so _easily_, and that submissiveness angered her – frightened her – even if it was to no other than to herself.

After all, she had a choice. It was simple, even: she could control her mind, or let her mind control her. There was always a _choice_. But she knew that actually making that choice was a different matter altogether, and one which was infinitely more difficult. She could not quite understand herself, but while she hated the merciless ache that accompanied those memories, a part of her _welcomed_ its frightening thrill.

When she reached the point of no return, when even Captain Kuchiki's fabled self-restraint would be futile, she was ashamed to admit that part of her _wanted_ to be swept away by the tidal wave of time. Perhaps it was because those memories and the pain were the last, shadowy remains of another lifetime – a lifetime, which she had simultaneously rejected and cherished over the years. Perhaps it was because those memories reminded her of a time when things had been so very different, when _she_ had been different. Perhaps it was because the pain reminded her that she once had longed to break, snap, and shatter; to destroy and be destroyed; to scream until her cracked voice was hoarse of words and meaning; to throw back her head and laugh hysterically at the madness of the world. Perhaps it was because they reminded her of a time when she had wanted to unwind – utterly, completely, and devastatingly.

But, again, perhaps they were not; perhaps they were merely the crumbling remnants, the weak echoes of things that had been lost years ago – things that better should be left in peace.

After all, since then, she had learned many things: she had learned that such outbursts were as pointless as they were unnecessary. She had learned that they changed nothing, and that she had been a fool to ever think otherwise. She had eventually learned that it was better not to care. In the end, she simply didn't want to...nor was she certain if she remembered how. Besides, it was too uncomfortable... too _personal_ for her liking.

Sometimes, she wondered if _that_ wasn't even worse than... But she had survived, and surely, that was the most important thing of all?

However, before she could continue with her musings, she was brought back to her rooftop and to reality by the sound of nervously fluttering wings; the Hell Butterfly was desperately trying to regain her attention.

She sighed.

No, she couldn't possibly let it wait any longer – it must be important.

* * *

I hope that the chapter made it clear that Momo has returned to present time after reminiscing about events in the past.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	13. Top Right Corner

****

Chapter 13: Top Right Corner

The fragile messenger had slowly been circling her head before it gratefully accepted her extended finger. _"To all Captains and lieutenants, this is a reminder that this year's recruitment ceremony will begin shortly. The candidates will assemble in the main courtyard in ten minutes. I repeat: this is a reminder this year's recruitment ceremony will begin shortly. The candidates will assemble in the main courtyard in ten minutes."_

The Hell Butterfly fluttered away gracefully as soon as it had delivered its message.

_Oh._

It was just about the Academy graduates.

Nevertheless... it could not wait.

She stood up and carefully stretched her limbs, while absentmindedly smoothing out her white haori with a single, fluid gesture; regardless of how tedious she sometimes found it, appearances had to be upheld as usual. She had quickly learnt from the others – it was a matter of honour and of pride. She was Captain Hinamori Momo and she would greet the newest additions to her squad as such, just like she had done the year before and the years before that...

She looked out over Seireitei one last time, taking a deep breath and clearing her mind of all thoughts of the past. As air filled her lungs, she felt how calm slowly spread throughout her body. _Good_. She needed to recover her normal composure before joining the others for the ceremony. Anything else would be unthinkable.

_It was time. Miyuki would already be waiting._

And with a well-executed shunpo, perfected by years of practise, she sped towards the courtyard.

--

"Captain Hinamori! Captain Hinamori!" 5th Division's enthusiastic second-in-command was waving with her customary clipboard when her Captain arrived on the balcony that was overlooking the traditional setting of the annual recruitment ceremony. "You'll never guess what, Captain!"

After half a decade with Miyuki as her faithful lieutenant, in addition to the almost fifteen years the bubbly shinigami had spent as the division 3rd Seat, the most senior officer of Squad 5 had learned that the dreaded 'You'll never guess what, Captain' was only resolved if Miyuki herself provided the answer.

"Yes, Miyuki?"

"I was just informed by Captain Ukitake that it was decided after this morning's Captains' Meeting, that 5th Division would be the first squad to accept new members from the Academy graduates! We've never been first before, since that honour usually goes to 1st Division – isn't that exciting, Captain?!"

**DAMN!**

If it hadn't been for the nervous groups of shinigami-to-be that were entering the courtyard in a steady stream, as well as for her reputation, she would have slapped her forehead in exasperation. The Captains' Meeting... she had missed it _again_!

She quickly calculated that it must have been her third unexcused absence this month alone... not to speak of the impressive tally she had accumulated over her still relatively short career as a Gotei 13 Captain. Only Captain Ukitake was guilty of more nonattendances than she, but he... well, because of his illness, he naturally didn't count.

Oh, this was bad, _really bad_ – after all the warnings, Head-Captain Yamamoto would surely have her head this time! She could almost feel his overwhelming spiritual pressure press down on her already... Why did the Commander-General have to be so ridiculously powerful?

"Is that so? That's certainly an honour for us." She forced a rather stiff smile on her lips and quickly changed the subject. "So, did you have time to go through the reports regarding the abilities of the graduating class?"

"Um, with the recent influx of paperwork, I didn't have time to read every single one. But on a whole, it looks very promising."

"That's good." She glanced down on the courtyard, noting the nervous anticipation that seemed to radiate from the familiar sea of white, red, and green uniforms. But, she noted with a sense of pride, that this would not be for much longer – today, the graduating students had donned those particular garments for the very last time. As they were standing on the courtyard below her, they were impatiently waiting on the threshold of a new chapter of their lives. After six long years, they finally stood before the unexplored, and soon, very soon, they would continue on with their journeys. However, from this day onwards, they would not do so as mere students – no, they would undertake their ventures as full-fledged shinigami of the Gotei 13.

It was decades ago, but she could still remember when she, Renji, and Izuru had stood on that very same courtyard side by side, gazing up at the legendary Captains and their lieutenants in fearful admiration. It had been the first time they had seen some of the leaders of the Gotei 13, and at that time, the awe-inspiring figures of Seireitei's finest had seemed so distant and so inaccessible... She smiled softly at the memory – just look at them now: she had been Captain of her treasured 5th division for five years; Renji still served under Captain Kuchiki, but she knew that Soul Society's arguably most powerful lieutenant did so by his own choice; and Izuru headed his squad under Matsumoto's caring, if somewhat unexpected, tutorage. They had come such a long way, all three of them...

"Yes, Captain. Apparently, there is even a genius among them this year!" Miyuki's uncharacteristically low, conspiratorial tone prompted her to return from her distant memories to the present. "I didn't have time to read his file, but he's supposed to be a shinigami prodigy."

"Really? A prodigy? That sounds most impressive." She felt a twinge at the word 'prodigy' – she was well aware of just _who_ it had been to be the last holder of that title, and one of her scars gave her a sharp reminder of its presence... as if she had needed one. "He must be very skilled to merit such a reputation. What are his credentials?"

"I thought that you might be interested in the abilities of this particular candidate, so I brought his file with me. I'm convinced that the other lieutenants have informed their Captains about him, so he's probably under their special consideration, too." Her lieutenant carefully opened a nondescript, yellow personal file, flipping through some papers until she found what she was looking for. "Let me see... Ah, here it is. Well, according to his progress report, he received top marks on the Academy entrance exams, and displayed unusually high potential in all four combat forms, but with particular aptitude for basic swordsmanship, upon entering. As a result, it was decided that he would move ahead of his classmates, and it seems that he is graduating well ahead of time. I suppose that this would explain why his file seems rather thin... Oh, and this is very interesting. His zanpakutou is supposed to be an elemental type... water or ice, I think – and..."

_Prodigy? Particular aptitude for swordsmanship? Water or ice-type zanpakutou?_

_How odd, but..._

She wrinkled her forehead – this was highly unexpected, but somehow, this person reminded her of _Shiro_. He, too, had excelled in swordsmanship; he had even gone so far as berating _her_ for her, in his opinion, only 'rudimentary' grasp of zanjutsu. But he was never granted the pleasure of the last laugh: she had always bettered him in kidou. In fact, of all the shinigami of the Gotei 13, only Nanao's exceptional skills rivalled her own. But she was infinitely glad that she had chosen against joining the Kidou Corps after graduating from the Academy – although her reason at the time had been her misplaced worship of her former Captain, there were so many shinigami she wouldn't have met and befriended if she had taken that other road, and so many important friendships she wouldn't have been able to deepen...

The memory of a young Shiro's sooty face and twitching eyebrow when yet another kidou attempt had gone horribly wrong, tugged at her heart – she had been home from her first year at the Academy to visit him and Granny, and she had showed him some of the simpler kidou chants that she had already mastered. While Shiro had furiously denied any actual interest in learning anything at all, he had still managed some of them quite well. Now that she looked back, she was surprised that her younger self hadn't thought anything of the fact that he managed to even produce _something_, even if it hadn't been with the correct incantation. But it had just seemed natural that he, too, would have the potential to learn.

"Captain!"

Again, her musings were interrupted by Miyuki's excited voice, "You'll never believe this! It says here that after approximately one month of ordinary Academy studies, Captain Ukitake requested and was_ granted,_ _sole responsibility _for his_ entire _training! So, Captain Ukitake has basically tutored him _himself_! I just can't believe it... This is very unusual... I mean, I-I don't think something like this has ever been done before, has it? A Captain overseeing an Academy student's education...? The 13th Division must have its own, special plans on recruiting him, in which case..."

A second frown dug deeper furrows on her forehead when Miyuki mentioned Captain Ukitake's special interest in the prodigy. This was becoming more mysterious by the minute... Although he was a very kind-hearted man, it was unlike even the sickly Captain to display such an interest in such a young Academy student, genius or not. Stranger still, she had never heard of a Captain interfering with the education of a complete stranger – much less demanding sole responsibility for the training of one... As far as she knew, Miyuki was right – it had never been done before.

But now when she thought about it, this _would_ explain Captain Ukitake's prolonged absences from his division. Kiyone and Sentarou had expressed their worry about their Captain in their usual, loud and disruptive manner, and had even tried to have their superior followed, but it had been to no avail – the shinigami Captain never revealed where he had been. Even though it hardly classed as normal behaviour for the reliable 13th Division Captain, she hadn't thought much of his nonattendance; she had simply assumed that he spent more time in the care of the 4th Division than usual, but that he for some reason preferred to keep it a secret. Wishing to respect his privacy, she had tactfully avoided the subject of his whereabouts; Captain Ukitake stood her closer than any other Captain, and she had feared that his health was deteriorating. But although she had worried about him, she wasn't one to uninvited prod into the private matters of others. But if he instead had been overseeing the training of this prodi-

"So what do you think, Captain..? _Captain Hinamori_?"

"Sorry, Miyuki, you were saying?" She mentally kicked herself – for the sake of her continued career and reputation as a Gotei 13 Captain, those momentary lapses of concentration just _had_ to stop. Maybe she should talk to Captain Unohana, although she doubted that it would-

"I was just saying that we might have to watch out for the 13th Division if we want to recruit him. Oh, what's this? There's an extra paper in the file, and it seems to be written in Captain Ukitake's handwriting. How odd, that hardly follows standard protocol... Hm, let's see... must be important." Miyuki's eyes darted across the page, but she soon looked up with an incredulous look on her face. "Th-this can't be right... _Impossible_! According to this, the candidate is currently perfecting his bankai... on his own! _Perfecting_ his bankai...? Surely that can't be, because that would mean that he already knows it... B-but that must be a mistake – Renji and acting Captain Matsumoto are the only shinigami of official non-Captain status who are known to have achieved their bankai. But both are comfortably beyond standard lieutenant class, and neither have yet come as far as perfecting theirs! This person, on the other hand, isn't even a member of the Gotei 13! An outsider possessing such a degree of insight to his zanpakuotu...?! How could this even be possible! Even if Captain Ukitake trained him himself, and even if it is in his handwriting, it must be some sort of mistake! There is no other logical explanation – the paper must simply be _wrong_! Capt-"

"Let me see that." She snatched the file from her stunned lieutenant's hands in a rather undignified manner. But she didn't think much of Miyuki's surprised expression, as she had her thoughts lieutenant was right, she had no doubts about that: Captain Ukitake or not, there must be a mistake, because the contents of that file couldn't possibly be accurate. Perfecting one's bankai was an unbelievable feat when just _achieving_ a bankai was a supreme accomplishment alone. Countless of talented and able shinigami never reached that level of understanding: it was a matter of a very substantial 'if' rather than 'when'.

_Bankai_... It took years upon years of diligent practise to accomplish the final release of one's zanpakutou, and many, many more to master it to completion. She wasn't even convinced that all of the Captains of the Gotei 13 themselves, with the exception of the Head-Captain and possibly also the most senior Captains, had reached that final level of understanding. She knew that she certainly hadn't – there was always something new to be discovered about both herself and her zanpakutou...

But then again, only because it had never been done before... She could not forget that Kurosaki Ichigo _did_ learn his bankai in only three days, even if the method in question was far from orthodox, but even he had yet to fully master its techniques. Now, _if_ it were true, then the Gotei 13 stood before an individual with powers at a level that had never been seen before. Even the impressive feats and achievements of the prodigies of yesteryear: Captain Ukitake, Captain Kyouraku, Shiba Kaien, Ise Nanao, and even Shiro, paled in comparison to _this_... But even if it was possible that Captain Ukitake's extraordinary student indeed had reached bankai, _perfecting_ it before joining the Gotei 13?! Surely, that part couldn't possibly be true. If that really was the case, then _why_ hadn't he been accepted into their ranks earlier? _Why_ wait until now? If he really was so skilled, he should immediately have been placed among the lieutenants, or even higher... In any case, as a fellow Captain, _she_ should have known about him by now – as one of the most senior and experienced in their midst, Captain Ukitake knew the rules, and their exceptions, better than anyone.

_Captain Ukitake..._ Yes, there was still the matter of his unexplained, mysterious involvement in all of this. She couldn't explain why, but there was something about that file that made her suspicious. She couldn't put a finger on it, but there was something not quite _right_ about it. Who was this supposed prodigy, who had enjoyed the special attention of the 13th Division Captain?

_Why was this particular Academy graduate so special_?

When she impatiently turned to the first segment of the report, her eyes merely widened a fraction before she closed the folder with a decisive snap, carelessly tossing it back to a bewildered Miyuki without as much as a word of explanation.

Of all the names in Soul Society..._ of all the names, _it had been _that._

_Impossible._

But there could be no mistake, she was certain that her eyes had not betrayed her. The name, which had been neatly printed on the top right corner of the first page, was one that she thought she would never see again.

The name had read as following,

**Hitsugaya Toushirou**

--

* * *

Oh? That name sure looks familar. Coincidence, perhaps... because he _is_ dead, isn't he?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	14. Yes

**Chapter 14: Yes**

"Why wasn't I informed?"

As she slowly and carefully formed the question, the Captain's voice was oddly calm – much too calm – and Miyuki felt a series of shills run over her spine. Although she had eventually grown accustomed to Hinamori Momo's various eccentricities first as her 3rd Seat and then as her lieutenant, she couldn't remember that the 5th Division's commanding officer ever had sounded quite like _that_; it was strange, but underneath the calm, there was a slight but distinct _tremble_. Miyuki doubted that anyone other than an attentive lieutenant would have noticed such a small behavioural abnormality; nonetheless, it was the cause of immediate concern: Captain Hinamori's voice _never_ trembled, even when she was at her most furious.

_Something was wrong_.

Miyuki hoped that she at least didn't look as worried as she felt – she knew her Captain inside out and something serious must had happened for Hinamori to react so... _strangely_. Although she couldn't say had caused it, Miyuki thought that she had a pretty good idea – hell, she would even go as far as betting her own zanpakutou on that Captain Hinamori's puzzling behaviour had something to do with that prodigy graduate.

_The prodigy... _

What was his name again? Oh, yes. According to the file, his name was Hitsugaya.

_Hitsugaya._

Miyuki frowned. It was a strange feeling – although she couldn't identify why or how, there was something about that name that troubled her... Perhaps it was just her imagination, but didn't it sound vaguely... _familiar_? Yes, she had the eerie feeling that she had heard or seen that particular name somewhere before... But as she carefully observed the shinigami Captain in front of her, whose strange behaviour was bewildering to say the least, Miyuki could neither place a face to that name, nor understand why she felt as if she _ought_ to know who he was... But she didn't think much more of it, since, in this case, her own feelings were irrelevant – what mattered now was what that particular name meant to the Captain of Squad 5.

"Informed? But- but I mean, if I had known that you wished to read the recruitment files yourself, then I woul-"

"I have to go."

"But... but _Captain_! The ceremony, the recruits-"

"I trust you to make the right decisions for our squad, Miyuki. But whatever you do, _get him _– get Hitsugaya! I don't care what you do, or how you do it, just make sure that he'll be assigned to 5th Division and _no other squad_. If I haven't returned by the end of the ceremony, you are to report the outcome to me directly. _Is that understood_? You have your orders, lieutenant."

Momo didn't wait for her wide-eyed 2nd Seat to confirm that she indeed had understood her commands before leaving the courtyard behind her in a blur. She was so deeply engrossed in her own thoughts that she failed to notice the conspiratorial looks that passed between some of her fellow Captains, and the mischievous grin that was slowly forming over a certain Matsumoto Rangiku's lips.

--

_**Hitsugaya Toushirou**__._

It had been a long time – _years_– since she had seen his name, or heard it mentioned even in casual conversation. Sometimes she had wondered how many of Seireitei's numerous inhabitants still remembered the former commander of Squad 10, when not even Matsumoto had spoken of him for many years. But, when she had thought about it, she had concluded that it was only natural – after all, the acting Captain of Squad 10 had an entire division to run... and memories were best reminisced and treasured in private.

_A memory_. Yes, regardless of how she turned and twisted it, fact remained that he was a memory, and memory was just a memory...

_**But that**_ _**file**_**!**

Its sudden appearance had turned all that she thought she knew completely on its head, and her mind was spinning. Because she knew that she hadn't been wrong – that file had definitely borne _his _name! Then there were those other things: prodigy, ice-type zanpakutou...

But it couldn't be-

How could he have-

No...That would be completely _impossible_. It _simply_ couldn't be that he-

_Argh_! It was utterly ridiculous, and it was absolutely insane, but what if he _somehow_ had managed to...? But that would be completely impossible! Not even _Shiro_ could have-... He was gone, and she had lived two whole decades without him... _He was gone_! But that _file_?! How could that name...? How could that name be on one of the recruitment files? It couldn't it be the same... _or could it_?

No, no, **NO**! It simply couldn't be, because something like that was impossible_, utterly impossible_! She was an experienced shinigami for crying out loud, a _Captain, _even! Surely, she knew better than even for a moment thinking that he could have... But why else had Captain Ukitake taken a special interest in him? The Captain was kind-hearted, yes. But was he an overly sentimental man? No, most definitely not. Captain Ukitake had experienced too much, he had seen too much death and too much suffering. So he must have had damned good reasons to act like he did! So maybe it was just a simple coincidence that they shared the same...? But that name, prodigy, ice zanpakutou... could all those really be mere coincidences? For every second, her doubts grew. But how could he be... How could he, when he was gone!

Dead! _Shiro was dead_! He was gone, forever!

**So what the hell was happening here?! **

She had stop thinking about it, she had to try to ignore the turmoil of unidentifiable feelings that threatened to overwhelm her – she needed to approach this _rationally_. Firstly, the Head-Captain...Yes, the Head-Captain! _Of course_! Why hadn't she thought about this immediately? Surely, _he_ must know something about all this... After all, this- this _person_ was graduating from _his_Academy... and according to that accursed file, Captain Ukitake was granted _permission_ to train him, and who else had the authority to approve of such an unusual request?

_**ARGH**_**! Why the hell did the 1st Division have to be so far away, damn it!**

_Hitsugaya Toushirou_.

She couldn't dispel that name from her thoughts – as hard as she tried, it kept on echoing inside her head.

_Hitsugaya_?

It didn't make any sense!

_Hitsugaya_?!

It made absolutely no sense at all...

**What the hell was going on?!**

She needed to know... She needed to know, and she needed to know _**now**_!

But she was forced to admit that she wasn't entirely sure of exactly _what_ it was that she so desperately needed to know – she wasn't even certain of what she wanted to _believe_.

_Hitsugaya Toushirou_. Yes, the file had definitely said Hitsugaya Toushirou!

_Hitsugaya._

_Shiro..._

Did she _dare_ to hope...?

She couldn't even finish that thought since she feared that once completed, she would run the risk of forever bearing the weight of its unfulfilled promise.

When she finally stood outside the imposing doors leading to the 1st Division headquarters, hesitating only slightly before storming inside, she decided that she would risk the least injury if she regarded the situation with uttermost suspicion. A heart could be truly shattered, and then pieced together again, only once before it broke beyond all recognition, and she had no intention of adding more injury to her poorly-mended soul.

--

The shinigami of the 1st Division moved out of her way with fearful respect when they felt her spiritual pressure approaching from the outside. It was beyond all doubts that the normally cool and reserved 5th Division Captain was agitated... _extremely _agitated. But if that wasn't enough, it was even more worrying how she made little effort to conceal her fluctuating spiritual energy. Some of the older, more experienced shinigami shook their heads knowingly as the newest members of their squad were forced down on their knees from the enormity of her imposing spiritual pressure – a Captain was on the warpath for reasons unknown and nothing good could come from this: undoubtedly, from the way things were looking, heads would roll today. Now, as ordinary shinigami, all they could do was to wait, see, and keep well out of her way until the storm subsided.

--

Again, she hesitated before the closed doors of the Head-Captain's private office. He rarely attended the recruitment ceremonies himself, instead entrusting his lieutenant with the care of the 1st Division's new members, so she had known where she would find him. But now that she was here, how would she proceed? As she saw it, she really had only two options: either she could probe for the truth by the means of indirect enquiries, or she could ask him straight-out. She decided on the latter – she needed a quick, _definite_ answer.

"Head-Captain Yamamoto-Genryuusai, I demand an explanation!" She didn't even bother to knock, but burst into his office unannounced. It was hardly the respectful and dignified entrance that was expected from her rank, but at that moment she couldn't have cared less – if anything, this was an _emergency_, and at least she had remembered to address him with his title."Now, if you would, please."

"You demand an explanation of _what _exactly, Captain Hinamori?"The bearded man peered at her from behind his desk, where he had been working on something or another before the squad Captain's sudden appearance.

She stopped dead in her tracks, and for a second, she gaped at her superior in apparent disbelief. Was she currently trapped in a strange, but disturbingly realistic dream, or had she really seen an amused _twinkle _in her stern Head-Captain's half-lidded eye? No, she was definitely awake, but this was the _General_-_Commander _of the Gotei 13! Surely, she must have been mistaken. She shook her head, dispelling such a ridiculous thought, regaining some of her composure in the process.

"Would you please care to explain, Head-Captain, why the prodigy from this year's graduating class from _your _Academy is named... is named... Hitsugaya... Toushirou?" She stared at the seated man intently, but the Head-Captain made no sign that he had even heard her question. "Head-Capt-"

"Your manners have certainly not improved, Bed-wetter Momo."

The voice startled her, and she felt how her body involuntarily tensed in response to the sudden addition to the conversation. It was a decidedly male voice... but while it most certainly did not belong to the seated old man, she couldn't sense even the traces of a third spiritual pressure, either. So who the _hell_ was talking, and more importantly, _what_ had he just said?!

"Who's there, and wh-what did you just call me?!" She spun around, trying to locate the owner of that unfamiliar voice, who had the nerve to mock her, a powerful shinigami and a Captain nonetheless! She was determined to make him pay for his insolence, whoever he was... but to do so, she would have to find him first, and she couldn't see, nor sense anyone else in the room other than herself and the Head-Captain...

_**What the hell was going on?! **_

But more importantly, how could this person possibly know about the _nickname_? She hadn't heard it in years; it had belonged to Shiro alone, and no one else had ever had the right to call her that... Moreover, now when she thought about it, no one else had even _known_about it, not even Renji, Izuru, or Matsumoto.

_**So how in the world**_...**?**

The confusion was grating on her strained nerves, and she felt how her agitation was growing for each passing second. That was when it struck her: **the missed Captains' Meetings**. As illogical as it would seem, this couldn't possibly be part of some elaborate punishment... could it? No, although the Head-Captain was a stern man, she refused to believe that he could be so cruel... But _if_ this indeed was to discipline her for her repeated absences, then there would be hell to pay, even if it meant going up against the 1st Division Captain himself.

"As the Captain of the 5th Division of the Gotei 13, I _demand_ that you show yourself immediately!" she barked with her most authoritative voice. "State your name, rank, and division number!"

As a response to her demands, a shinigami leisurely strolled into the office from one of the smaller, adjoining rooms. He calmly walked up to the seated Head-Captain's right side, before lightly bowing his head in her direction.

"Hitsugaya Toushirou, former Captain of the 10th Division of the Gotei 13. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Captain of Squad 5."

It took her a moment before she could even begin to comprehend the stranger's existence.

_What the-_

_Former Captain of the 10th-_

_**HUH**__**?!**_

_He said... Hitsu__- __Hitsu__- **Hitsugaya!**_**_ He definitely said __Hitsu_**_-_

_**No**__**. **__**This was wrong.**_

_White, like snow-_

_Deep green, like emeralds -_

_No..._

_No. No. No. No. No._

_**NO!**_

_**It had to be wrong!**_

_But then, __**WHO**__-_

_**HOW?!**_

_**What the HELL was going on?!**_

At the sight of him, her mind immediately ceased to function, and she entered a state of paralysing shock as she unashamedly gawked at the stranger. _Those large, emerald eyes... the unruly mop of white hair... No. _The man standing in front of her undoubtedly possessed an incredible resemblance her beloved childhood friend – only, this man seemed both older and taller.

_**But**_**...No! It couldn't be. It just **_**couldn't**_**.**

"I-impossible. You're... you're..." Her mind struggled to make sense of what she was seeing. This couldn't possibly be _him_. She felt how her spiritual pressure flared in response to her confusion, which was quickly making way for anger. Of course he wasn't Shiro, because how could he be? Shiro was dead. She felt deeply ashamed that she had, if even for a moment, compared him to this- this _imposter_.

Yes, the unknown shinigami in front of her was part of a cruel, twisted trick to punish her – he had to be. _**There could be no other explanation**__. _She made no effort to conceal her fury, or rising spiritual pressure. _Her _Shiro was dead, and the Captain of Squad 1 had done something utterly unforgivable. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists in the folds of her haori – Commander-General or not, this insult would cost him dearly.

"Head-Captain Yamamoto-Genryuusai", she fought hard to stabilize her voice that threatened to reveal her anger and pain,"this ridiculous charade _will_come to an end _now_. The trickery is both cruel and uncalled for, and I swear that _you will pay for this_. Good day, Head-Captain."

Her blood was still boiling when she turned around to leave, whilst trying to collect her raving thoughts. _What had just happened?_ Had she _really_..? Yes, she had just threatened the most powerful being in the entire Seireitei, the man who not even Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyouraku could defeat... She winced inwardly at the thought of the dire consequences that surely would follow her recklessness – she had insulted the name and honour of the Gotei 13's highest commanding officer. She had crossed the line, and now, she would be shown no mercy. She knew that she would be extremely lucky if she escaped the ordeal with a mere expulsion from Seireitei. But that didn't matter – she didn't regret her reaction. The Head-Captain _would_ pay for this...

"Hinamori!"

The younger man sounded so thoroughly confused that she turned around to face him again.

"It's _Captain _Hinamori to you, whoever you are", she snapped coldly, wondering where in the world the Head-Captain had found someone who looked so much like Shiro. It must have taken him a lot of time and effort to prepare this cruel game – he must have been angrier about her repeated absences than she could ever have imagined. _That scheming, old-_

"Well, this I did not expect – I never thought that _you_ of all people would take after me."

The white-haired man's eyes flashed at her, reflecting what seemed to be _amusement_, which immediately drew forth a frown on her forehead. _What was so damned funny? And how dared he address her so informally, as if he knew her, when it was obvious that he was a pawn in the Head-Captain's little game_?

"Perhaps you finally understand how irritating it is not to be addressed correctly. But, tell me, when did a Captain ever dare to speak to the Head-Captain like this? If I didn't know better, I would have thought that you just threatened him! That leaves me wondering what you'll do to me – am I to expect watermelon seeds flying in my general direction anytime soon?"

"_Wh-Wh-What_?" She stared stupidly at the man, momentarily forgetting about the Head-Captain's presence altogether. When he mentioned the watermelon seeds, something in her stomach started to squirm uneasily. How could he know? How could that imposter possibly know about the watermelons? When they were both still carefree children in Junrinan, Shiro had made fun of her inability to successfully launch the small projectiles, and he had happily showed her how... a bit too happily. But no one else had known about their childhood game, _**no one**_. "How did-"

"Honestly, Hinamori, you're too stupid for your own good sometimes. _**I **_was there, too, you know. Hn, you still can't do it, can you?" The expression in his clear emerald eyes was teasing, and unable to resist, she was drawn in, hypnotised by their brilliant colour. She hadn't seen eyes like those since...

"Who _**are**_ you?" Her anger had subsided into genuine perplexity when she finally managed to force herself to look away.

"I told you already, I'm Hitsugaya Toushirou, but..." the man sighed and made a grimace of mild, but undeniable disgust, "otherwise known to certain bed-wetters as Shiro... chan."

Her unruly heart skipped a beat. She _knew_ that grimace. She _knew_ that frown. He never failed to produce that exact facial expression each and every time she had called him that. Even after all this time, she hadn't forgotten...

_Could this really be... __**him**_?

For the first time, she seriously considered the miniscule possibility that he really _was_ Shiro. But how could he be when her beloved friend was dead? She remembered the day that they brought him home as if it had happened only yesterday: the courtyard, the portal, excitement, the seven shinigami Captains, fearful expectation, Captain Ukitake, the bundle of black cloth, the sudden pangs in her heart as she desperately waited for someone to confirm that her suspicions were wrong, the cold that seemed to spread throughout her body when their empty eyes told her, the numbness as she listened to the tale of his last stand...

That day had forever imprinted itself in her memories, the day that she was told that he was dead.

And yet, this man... this man simply _knew_ _too much_. He knew things that only Shiro would have known – and not to speak of the uncanny resemblance...

So she made her decision.

As much as she still doubted him, she had to ask – she _had_ to know, if only to finally pull out the dagger that seemed to sink deeper and deeper into her soul for each time he looked at her.

"Head-Captain, that man... _Is he really_...?"

She gazed at the General-Commander expectantly, desperately torn between scepticism and a weak ray of hope. But it felt as if centuries passed before he finally opened his mouth to answer her unfinished question.

"_**Yes**_."

* * *

Oh, the drama! It would seem that the Gotei 13 stands before the rare problem of having more Captains than it needs... Now, how will the Head-Captain possibly explain _**this**_?

So what do you think about the revelations of the last couple of chapters? Let me know! I'm really trying not to make this too cliché or too straightforward, so you have been warned!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	15. A Heavenly Guardian?

_Author's Note_: As you may or may not have seen, I have made some changes to the summary of this story. I felt that the old summary no longer was accurate for the way the story is progressing, so I changed it. I suppose that's all... I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

--

**Chapter 15: A Heavenly Guardian?**

"H-how...?"

Wave after wave of disjointed emotions were washing over her: suspicion, astonishment, hope, perplexity, disbelief, anxiety, confusion, joy, _fear_... She didn't know what to feel as she just stared at the stranger, who the Head-Captain himself claimed was no other than Hitsugaya Toushirou.

But could that- that _stranger_ really be... _him_?

Could he really be _Shiro_?

_**Yes**_**?** _**No**_**?**

Now she really had no idea of what to believe, or what to think... Was there even any point in thinking _at all,_ when everything was so utterly _absurd_?

The uncertainty was maddening, and she was desperately trying to still the turbulent feelings and chaotic flow of thoughts that were crashing into her.

"_Tobiume_," her mind finally cried. "_Tobiume, I need you. I can't do this alone_."

"_You are never alone, little one._" The unmistakably mild voice was chiding, as it echoed softly inside of her head, momentarily silencing all of her other thoughts. _"But why is it that my world is falling into darkness? The sun has disappeared behind a curtain of storm clouds, the air is heavy with rain, and the wind is tearing at my poor leaves... Little one, you know that I do not like the dark._"

"_I know and I apologize, Tobiume, but it's so difficult... It's so very difficult and I don't know if I-_"

"_Then, do not be afraid to lean on me, little one. You know that you can always lean on me." _

She felt how the sweet, soothing scent of spring plums slowly enveloped her, offering her insides both warmth and relief from the tumultuous uproar that was threatening to overwhelm her – Tobiume was lending her the strength to stand, lending her the strength to breathe, and lending her the strength to meet those deep pools of green...

"_Thank you, Tobiume. Thank you."_

And so she braced herself for the unknown as she quietly waited for either the Head-Captain or the white-haired man to say something – _anything – _if only to confirm that she was still... still _what_? Awake? Conscious? Alive? Breathing?_ Existing_?

"As you know, at the end of the arrancar war, the Special Forces were given greater responsibilities and its executive powers were extended, in order to prevent future incidents," the older of the two men began, finally breaking the tense silence. "One year ago, the Captain of the 2nd Division received reports about the presence of an unprecedented power among the first-year Academy students. After secret deliberations involving only Captain Soifon, Captain Ukitake, and myself, it was decided that Captain Ukitake would initiate a discreet investigation to determine whether or not the suspect could come to pose a future threat to the safety of Soul Society. The Detention Unit was ordered to standby in the event that it was deemed necessary for the student to be transferred directly from the Academy to Special Detention."

_Special Detention_... It fell under the jurisdiction of the third taskforce of the Special Forces, the infamous Detention Unit. If the Head-Captain had been prepared to send a first-year Academy student to the Maggots' Nest, then the person in question must without a doubt have been powerful... very powerful. She wondered if the man standing in front of her, imposter or not, had been aware of the danger. If deemed to be a dangerous element, there was no mercy to be had. There could be no chance of appeal, for once ordered inside the Special Underground Detention Facility, one could never leave.

"As soon as the student's identity became known to him, Captain Ukitake called an emergency meeting. According to his findings, the suspect's name was Hitsugaya Toushirou, but other than a vague physical resemblance to the former 10th Division Captain, the person in question seemed to have retained no memories of a past in the Gotei 13, nor could Captain Ukitake recognize his spiritual pressure." The Head-Captain briefly paused to gauge her reaction, and just as he had expected, Captain Hinamori's blank stare revealed little of her immediate thoughts. "But since we could neither confirm nor dismiss the possibility that he indeed was the former Captain, we had no choice but to keep him under close surveillance. Captain Ukitake officially accepted him as his private charge, thus completely releasing him from attendance of regular Academy activities. But unfortunately, rumours of a prodigy had already begun to circulate among the other students, and his sudden absence puzzled many. However, this was not a problem that could not be dealt with."

Throughout the unusual explanation, the white-haired young man's steadfast gaze never left her; his face contained none of its playful, mocking expression from before, and his green eyes were strangely opaque. She couldn't read the thoughts and emotions behind those eyes, but even if her life had depended on it, she wouldn't have been able to stop looking at them. They _were_ his colour, but that wasn't enough – she was still far from convinced by the Head-Captain's claim.

"After thorough investigations, Captain Unohana and Captain Kurotsuchi independently rejected the possibilities that the man had been experimented upon, or manipulated by an unknown entity. The Captains took into consideration not only the results of their respective tests, but also the fact that the spirit of former Captain's zanpakutou had remained intact... even after his death."

"_Intact_? Head-Captain, you don't mean to say that-"Astonishment briefly overpowered the other feelings that were fighting for control, and before she could stop herself, she had voiced her disjointed thoughts out loud. "Even after he- So Hyourinmaru, _his_ Hyourinmaru still... Hyourinmaru still _exists_?"

That was just so impossible that it was bordering on the ridiculous. Even first-year Academy students knew that a zanpakutou's spirit was the manifestation of its wielder's soul; although it normally assumed a katana's physical shape when in its unreleased form, that was just a meaningless shell. The spirit itself lived, grew and developed, and finally died alongside its wielder – a zanpakutou spirit would cease to exist the moment that its wielder died.

_All shinigami knew that_.

But now the Head-Captain claimed that Shiro's Hyourinmaru had _survived_ all these years? It was hardly convincing, and she was about to open her mouth to protest against such a fundamentally ridiculous notion when the green-eyed man spoke, seemingly sensing her doubts.

"Head-Captain, permission to-"

"Permission granted."

The young man nodded and quickly left the office, only to return with a zanpakutou. He walked up to her and stopped at her side. He was so close that she could easily distinguish the individual strands of his spiky hair, and for a moment, she thought that she sensed the faint scent of watermelons. But she quickly forced herself to regain some kind of control over her wandering thoughts and senses –she was clearly overreacting, and needed to get a _grip_ of herself before her distress became too apparent.

When he simply held out his zanpakutou towards her, granting her his silent permission, she could feel his eyes burning on her as she reached out to accept it. She fought hard to ignore the shiver that ran down her spine, and she was careful not to allow as much as a tremble to pass through her hands when she began her careful examination of the zanpakutou he had given her.

_Hyourinmaru._

The graceful dragon lord of the frozen skies, the undisputed master of ice and water, Shiro's ruthless Ice Ring, his zanpakutou...She had seen it so many times over the years and there was no mistake: the zanpakutou in her hands was indeed Hyourinmaru. The unique guard with its beautiful four-pointed star, the intricate symmetry of the blues in the woven hilt, the sheath in the hue of midnight... they could belong to no other. When she carefully slid a few centimetres of the blade from its scabbard, it shone with a brilliant gleam – a tell-tale sign of a harmonious zanpakutou spirit. Hyourinmaru was resting inside the katana, patiently waiting for his wielder's command to soar the heavens, just like she remembered.

_But... if Hyourinmaru was alive, that meant that his wielder- that meant that Shiro-_

She bit her lower lip, sheathed the zanpakutou once more with a single, decisive motion, and returned it to its supposed owner. But she was careful not to come in contact with him at any part of the exchange. Yes, it would seem that the zanpakutou supported his claimed identity, but she wasn't ready to touch him... not yet. She didn't want to risk shattering him with her touch – she needed more proof that he was real before she could even begin to commit herself to his existence.

_**Seeing alone was never enough for truth**__._

If anything, Aizen Sousuke, the master of devilish illusions, had taught her that and she had been a good student, she thought bitterly.

"I trust that you _do_ understand the significance of this?" The old man's voice was sharp, prompting her to turn her attention to him once more. "At the time of the Captains' return from Hueco Mundo twenty years ago, all that remained of this zanpakutou was its hilt. Captain Ukitake requested it as a keepsake, and he was the one who made the startling discovery: it showed signs of regeneration, normally an impossible feat after the death of the wielder. It was promptly given to Captain Kurotsuchi, who hypothesized that the spontaneous regeneration process was made possible by the excess spiritual particles that had accumulated at the moment of complete bankai, which had occurred only shortly before the wielder's death. So it was believed that the process would quickly cease by itself. However, it continued until the zanpakutou seemed to have made a full recovery. Since the anomaly could not be satisfactorily explained, Captain Ukitake and Captain Kurotsuchi were sworn to silence and the zanpakutou was stored at a secret location, where it remained until only recently."

Her head was spinning with the Head-Captain's words, but then she remembered the_ star_. She thought that she had sensed Hyourinmaru's frosty presence in his star when Captain Ukitake had given it to her... But that could, of course, have been the result of her imagination and strained nerves. She had been a wreck, unstable, _weak_, believing what she wanted to believe...

"However, in the light of former Captain Hitsugaya's return, it would seem that the zanpakutou regenerated because its wielder's soul still existed. Captain Kurotsuchi is still investigating how their connection could have remained intact, even after their long period of separation. The significance of this, however, is the implication that former Captain Hitsugaya's _soul_ also remained unchanged. However, at the time, this was not deemed as enough to conclusively prove his identity, since neither Captain Kurotsuchi nor Captain Unohana could explain _how_ he could have returned to Soul Society and in such an unchanged state. Hence, I ordered Captain Kyouraku and his lieutenant to search among the records of the Central Library for any information that could aid our investigation. There, lieutenant Ise made a very interesting discovery." The Commander-General allowed for a brief pause, and she could have sworn that the battle-scarred Captain did so purely for the sake of its dramatic effect. "Are you aware of the Legend of the Heavenly Guardian, Captain?"

She tore her gaze from Hitsugaya, who had returned to the Head-Captain's side and was just standingthere with the zanpakutou still in his hands – she was having difficulties with deciding exactly what to call him, but she finally settled on his family name since that was by far the most _neutral _she could think of – and turned her full attention to the Head-Captain once more.

A series of wrinkles settled on her forehead as she slowly understood the implications of that which had been said. The old man couldn't possibly be _serious_, could he? Indeed, she had heard of the Legend of the Heavenly Guardian: it spoke of a being assigned to protect, and whose spirit was supposed to be reincarnated only once every few centuries. But did the Head-Captain seriously mean to say that Hitsugaya's sudden reappearance could be explained by an old _folktale_? That was simply too ridiculous! Surely, the Heavenly Guardian was just a legend... nothing more than an old myth?

"Yes. Yes, I am. But... but, sir?"

"Lacking more concrete explanations for his sudden reappearance, Hitsugaya Toushirou could be the current embodiment of that Guardian. This idea was initially met with great scepticism, but as lieutenant Ise accurately brought to our attention, the former Captain was born in here Soul Society and his soul should therefore have no ties to the living world. Upon questioning, Captain Kurotsuchi admitted that was unclear whether or not he therefore would be included in the normal cycle of souls between Soul Society and the living world. Thus, it would be highly doubtful if such an unusual reincarnation could occur naturally, if at all. The Legend would therefore provide an explanation to his unexpected arrival in Soul Society."

The old man once again paused briefly from his tale so that she could collect her thoughts.

_The Legend of the Heavenly Guardian spoke of a divine protector... and Shiro had always done his best to shield her from harm... even to the very end. But wouldn't that mean...No, it simply couldn't._

The Head-Captain returned his focus on her as he prepared to continue, and she felt how she shrunk under the intensity of his gaze.

"Although this is only a hypothesis, we could not find a more plausible or satisfactory explanation. When no more research could be made, it was decided that he would be reunited with his former zanpakutou, in the hope that this could shed more light on the situation. Once reunited with Hyourinmaru, he seemed to recover certain memories that could not be attributed to common knowledge. Considering the evidence in his favour, it was decided that his case would be presented to the Central 46 Chambers. The Gotei 13 is free to independently accept recruits and to appoint its own Captains, but taking the unusual turn of events into consideration, it was deemed to be in his best interests if he also was approved by the Central 46 Chambers. As after lengthy deliberations, it accepted his identity as Hitsugaya Toushirou, former Captain of the 10th Division, and advised the Gotei 13 to reinstate him in a position fit for his abilities."

"Pardon me, Head-Captain, but 'we'? You don't mean to say that _all_ of the other Captains were aware of the... the _situation_?_" _She knew that this was a relatively minor detail compared to everything else that she had learned so far, but she still looked questioningly at the Head-Captain as she was waiting for his answer. How was it possible that all Captains except herself had known about his existence? The mere thought was absurd...wasn't it? Not to mention that news travelled _fast_ in Seiretei.

"The severity of the matter required that only select Captains were made aware of the situation. It was further decided that it would not be necessary to alert any of the lieutenants, with the exception of lieutenant Ise, who had to be told out of necessity so that she could aid her Captain in the research."

So it was true, then...Momentarily, shock subsided in favour of renewed anger – how could they have kept something like _this_ from her! She should have been the first to know, but it seemed as if they had intentionally left her in the dark!

"With all due respect, Head-Captain, how come was _I_ not informed?"

"At former Captain Hitsugaya's own request, we did not reveal his presence to Seireitei until the Chambers of the Central 46 had approved of his reinstatement. This, he achieved only very recently. But as of his reasons for not revealing himself to you specifically, only he knows."

She looked at Hitsugaya questioningly – _if_ he _truly_ were her childhood friend, why hadn't he wanted her to know about him? But to her surprise, he diverted his gaze to the floor, avoiding eye contact with her for the first time since he walked into the office.

"Former Captain Hitsugaya will return as 10th Division Captain at the completion of the Captain Proficiency Test, which is scheduled for tomorrow morning. All Captains are expected to attend the ceremony with their squads. A formal announcement will be made this afternoon. That is all."

She bowed her head deeply in response to the indirect dismissal, simultaneously casting a quick glance at the man by the Head-Captain's side. No, he hadn't disappeared yet. He was still there.

At the mere sight of him, confusion and pained excitement were pulsating through her dulled mind and her stomach was twisted in hundreds of knots, with the wings of thousands of unruly Hell Butterflies flapping through her veins. Somehow, she registered the fact that once the audience with the 1st Division Captain ended, once she left the office, she would also leave the safety of protocol and formalities behind: she would then have to face him, the man who once had been her friend and protector, not as a Captain of the Gotei 13, but as _herself_. She would have to face the stranger, who claimed that he was Hitsugaya Toushirou, without her carefully applied mask of polite indifference. She would have to face him as nothing more or less than Hinamori Momo, whoever _that_ was...

She would much rather have been fighting for her life in the Forest of Menos, surrounded, alone, and outnumbered. Battle was both cruel and brutal, but at least it was relatively simple: kill or be killed. Battle did _not_ offer the option of sudden, unexplained return from the dead.

He had been away for so very long, and who knew how he had changed... not to speak of how _she_ had changed – neither of them were the same shinigami that they had been all those years ago... What was left of who they used to be? What could have survived all the years of loneliness, heartbreak, and pain? How much would they still remember of themselves... and of each other? How much could _she_ still remember of herself?

She honestly didn't know, and it was completely useless even _thinking_ about it when-

"But, before you leave, Captain Hinamori, there is one other matter to be discussed."

_One other matter_...?

Oh. No. The _threat_ – she had almost forgotten about that damned threat!

She clenched her fists in the folds of her haori, but forced herself to look directly at the Commander-General's unmoving, stern features. His expression revealed none of his thoughts or intentions, but she held no doubt over what would happen next. She had acted in a manner that was wholly unacceptable for a member of the Gotei 13, let alone for one of its chosen Captains. But, all the same, she would accept her punishment as one. She was determined to hold her head high, and to accept her sentence without complaint and with as much dignity as she could muster. That was the least, if the only, thing she could do.

"You will not be disciplined for your outburst earlier, which I trust will never be repeated. However, do try to remember the Captains' Meetings in the future. I have been overlooking your absences, but my patience with you is wearing thin, Captain Hinamori." The Head-Captain gracefully picked up his pen and began to read through some papers on his desk, clearly signalling his disinterest in continuing the conversation. "There will be no more warnings."

"Y-Y-Yes, Head-Captain." She stared at the old man with open bewilderment – he wasn't going to punish her when he was full within his right to do so? That was _very_ unlike him... But it was a decision she most definitely wouldn't question. "Thank you, sir."

Before the Head-Captain would have a chance to change his mind, she bowed and quickly turned around to leave the room. She knew, without casting as much as a glance behind her that Hitsugaya would be following closely at her heels; but it wasn't until that the heavy doors, which were bearing the 1st Division's insignia, silently closed behind them that she slowly turned around to face him.

"Ah, if I remember correctly, one would normally pass the 10th Division on the way to the 5th Division headquarters. So, if you don't mind the company, I..." He sounded hesitant, as he was anxiously awaiting her reply, and to her grim satisfaction, the eyes that were observing her every movement revealed traces of indecision.

So, it would seem that she wasn't the only one...

_How very comforting._

She honestly didn't know what to say to him – she didn't even know what to _think_!One moment he had been a cherished memory, while in the other, he was standing before her as if nothing had happened... as if the long years of solitude and grief had never been!

_She didn't even-_

At any moment, she expected him to vanish into thin air... A sudden disappearance would not surprise her at all. In fact, after the afternoon's _revelations_, there was very little that could shock her now. If, at that very instant, the eternally smiling and eternally unsettling Ichimaru Gin also decided to make his reappearance, she doubted that she would even raise as much as an eyebrow.

So avoiding his unfinished question, and so effectively bypassing the process of reaching a decision altogether, she simply started to walk in a direction that she hoped would eventually lead her to her squad – in comparison to everything else, the exact destination of the journey seemed completely and utterly irrelevant.

--

Although she hadn't actually invited him to walk with her, she hadn't turned him away either. So after a brief period of indecision, he slowly joined the disappearing figure. He knew that he would have to tread very carefully – the last thing he wanted to do was to intrude on her more than he already had.

It had been so very long... and neither knew where to start.

* * *

_**Phew!**_ The chapter contained a number of fabricated facts, figures, and myths to explain the return, for which I only hesitantly take responsibility for. I tried to make the explanations as believable as possible, but also making clear that the Captains initially were very sceptical to his claimed identity, and that it took about a year for him to get reinstated. After all, in the aftermath of three Captain's high treason and a long, bloody war, it would be strange if the top brass of the Gotei 13 welcomed back a supposedly dead Captain without second thoughts.

Anyway, what do you think about the turn of events? The players have been introduced and the stage is set... You like it, or not so much? Let me know!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	16. THE Hitsugaya Toushirou

_Author's Note__: I'm truly amazed at and grateful for all the wonderful responses that I've been receiving so far! To everyone who has taken the time to read the story, commenting on it, or even sending me a message about it: thank you, it continues to be a great source of inspiration._

_So without further ado, this unusually speedy update... it's for you._

--

**Chapter 16: **_**THE **_**Hitsugaya Toushirou**

"Wait, Captain! Captain! _Wait_! I'm here to- I'm here to report... to _report_, Captain!"

Two heads instantly snapped to attention and turned to face the direction of the sudden series of shouts that had punctured a hole in the awkward silence, which, until that moment, had weighed down upon them like a wet blanket. Hitsugaya reacted to the call instinctively, while Momo immediately recognized the voice. How could she help but to react when that familiar, slightly shrill tone belonged to none other than her own lieutenant?

"Miyuki." Momo greeted her lieutenant with her customary nod, secretly relieved that she was no longer alone with the white-haired newcomer. But to her surprise she could sense how the lieutenant's spiritual pressure fluctuated in response – it was only a slight irregularity, but after years together, she knew that it was a sure sign that Miyuki was troubled by something. "What's the matter? Report what?"

At her questions, the warning bells inside the lieutenant's head – which already were chiming dangerously – practically exploded. Something _definitely_ wasn't right here.

"Ah." Poor Miyuki just stared at her Captain in disbelief, too stunned and still too out of breath to offer an actual answer. When the recruitment ceremony finished and there still had been no sign of Captain Hinamori, Tanaka had led their newest members to the 5th Division headquarters to await the Squad Captain's traditional welcome speech, while she had set off in hope of finding said Captain. However. she had done so with a heavy heart, dreading the Captain's response to the unfortunate outcome of the day's selection process: despite of her best efforts, she hadn't been able to secure Hitsugaya to Squad 5 as specifically ordered. Although the reason for the failure had been _peculiar_ to say the least, Miyuki knew that it was more likely than not that her Captain wouldn't take the news very well. But, incredulously, it would now seem as if Captain Hinamori had forgotten about her own orders altogether!

Yes, something was definitely off – very, _very_ off – with Captain Hinamori Momo... Miyuki was absolutely certain of it.

"What's the matter? You look a little pale."

"Er... It's no-nothing. Never mind that for now, Captain. But... eh, forgive me for asking, but are _you_ feeling alright? You haven't been anywhere near Squad 12, have you?" Miyuki's eyes narrowed with well-founded suspicion, as she critically surveyed her superior for any signs of physical 'altercations'. Although Captain Hinamori looked normal enough, Miyuki still wasn't convinced; how reliable proof was a seemingly unchanged appearance if crazy Captain Kurotsuchi was up to something again? She wouldn't be surprised if he had something to do with all of this – it wouldn't be the first time suspicious behaviour was observed in shinigami, whose only mistake had been to venture a little bit too close to the Research Institute. But while overpowering ordinary shinigami was one thing, subduing a Captain was quite another – surely, not even the 12th Division's abnormally twisted Captain would attempt something so suicidal? But lacking that, she tried in vain to find a plausible explanation for her Captain's unexpected absentmindedness and her puzzling change of mood from earlier...

To quote the oh-so eloquent Captain of the 11th Division: _What the hell was going on_?

"Yes, I'm well and no, I haven't had any reason to visit the 12th Division. I did, however, just receive some rather unexpected... news." Momo involuntarily stole a glance at Hitsugaya, who was quietly observing the exchange between the two women with the traces of a bemused smirk playing on his face. That clipboard-clutching girl, who he couldn't recall to have ever met before, was obviously the current 5th Division lieutenant, and she was _exactly_ how he had imagined Momo's 2nd Seat to be. He had just instinctively known that Momo would need someone just like her – someone with the personality to remind her of how _she_ had been before... He clenched his jaw as the image of a smirking, handsome face entered his mind. Would that face ever cease to haunt him?

Miyuki followed the direction of her Captain's glance curiously, but when it landed on the object of the brief look, she resisted the urge to rub her eyes in astonishment. She hadn't noticed him at first, but now that she had, Miyuki allowed herself a discreet second peek.

_Oh...? Now, **this** was certainly an interesting turn of events._

The shinigami by her Captain's side was without a doubt rather handsome: the white hair and green eyes made an unusual, but undeniably dashing combination. However, he wasn't classically good-looking in the manner of the regal Captain Kuchiki, nor did he possess Kurosaki's rugged handsomeness, or Renji's devil-may-care demeanour... Instead, this man seemed to exude an undefined boyish abandon, as if he wasn't aware of his rather impressive appearance.

_Well, well, well... who would have thought that the reserved Captain Hinamori had it in her? This was ultimate proof that the Captain of Squad 5 was _not_ to be underestimated._

Although something about him seemed vaguely familiar, Miyuki was quite certain that she had never seen him before. So she silently congratulated her Captain for her catch – the Shinigami Women's Association would surely go wild at the sight of Captain Hinamori Momo's new acquaintance.

_But wait... this was odd._

What caught Miyuki's full attention was not the stranger's favourable appearance, but the fact that something about him seemed to radiate both power and authority – perhaps it was the way he carried himself – and she had no doubts that he had to be very strong. But when she tried to gauge the extent of his powers, she couldn't detect a trace of spiritual pressure. His seemingly effortless control over his spirit energy confirmed her suspicions: without a doubt, this unknown shinigami was definitely officer material, lieutenant level _at least_. The realization was not only very strange, but also rather unsettling. As a lieutenant herself, how could she not have been aware of such a powerful shinigami until now? He wore standard shinigami robes with his zanpakutou held in place across his back by a green sash – there was no doubt that he truly was a shinigami – but which squad did he belong to? She eyed the man carefully... It was difficult to explain, but the white-haired man seemed too _comfortable_ in the presence of both a Captain _and_ a lieutenant to be ordinary. But she was sure of that he wasn't some newly appointed Captain, and he was certainly _not_ a lieutenant...

_So, what – wait, _scratch that_ – __**who**__ exactly was he?!_

Momo noticed how Miyuki's initially curious glances at Hitsugaya, who appeared to be completely oblivious to the interest, were slowly turning into sharp and scrutinizing glares. She knew her 2nd Seat well enough to realize that Miyuki must have noticed that something was not quite what it seemed with the outwardly ordinary shinigami. It would appear that formal introductions were in order before her lieutenant decided to do something foolish, like drawing Junseiuindo to get her own answers. But, really, considering the circumstances, she couldn't blame the lieutenant if she did.

"Miyuki, I would like you to meet... Hitsugaya Toushirou, who is to regain his former position as Captain of the 10th Division as of tomorrow. H-hitsugaya, this is my lieutenant since five years, Kobayashi Miyuki. Prior to her transfer to Squad 5, she was a seated officer in Captain Ukitake's division."

Hitsugaya merely offered a curt nod as to convey that he acknowledged her presence, while Miyuki stared at him unashamedly and unblinkingly, her eyes looking as if they were about to pop out of their sockets. The moment that her Captain introduced him, Miyuki knew why she had found him vaguely familiar – the name, the rank, the division number, the _hair_... it all fitted together a little bit too perfectly to be a series of mere coincidences. The lieutenant was extremely proud over her grasp of Seireitei's long history, which by far exceeded that of the norm, so she could not possibly be mistaken – it must be _him_. But why hadn't she understood earlier? Although it must have been at least twenty years, it was no excuse for forgetting, she berated herself.

_She should have recognized him at an instant._

"You're Hitsugaya Toushirou? _THE _Hitsugaya Toushirou?!" Miyuki could hardly contain her excitement.

"You know who I am, lieutenant?" Against his will, Hitsugaya felt a small twinge of discomfort. According to Captain Ukitake, about twenty years had passed since he left Soul Society for what would be the last time, and judging from her youthful enthusiasm, the shinigami lieutenant in front of him could hardly have been out of the Academy back then... How could he be certain that she recognized his name for the right reasons?

"Of-of course, sir!" Miyuki's voice was filled with awe. "Of course I know who you are! You're the prodigy – the _tensai_ – the youngest ever to achieve bankai _and_ the youngest Captain to command a Gotei 13 Division in the entire history of Seireitei; you're the wielder of the most powerful water-ice type zanpakutou in existence, the legendary Hyourinmaru; and... and you single-handedly defeated the high traitor Aizen, which effectively ended the long and terrible arrancar war. But, forgive me, sir, according to all known records, you... you never-"

"You are correct. Captain Hitsugaya never returned to Soul Society after the fall of Las Noches," Momo quickly answered her unfinished question. "But I will explain everything to you later. Now, you still haven't told me of why _you_ are here, Miyuki? Did something happen at the recruitment ceremony?"

"No, there was nothing out of the ordinary." Miyuki forced her eyes away from the object of her admiration, in order to properly address Captain Hinamori. "I only came to report that we weren't able to draft the prodigy as you ordered, since he already seemed to be attached to the 10th Division. I spoke to lieutenant Ise about it, and she confirmed that there had been a filing mistake, since no other squad seemed to have received his file. But something about that simple explanation seemed a bit too... _convenient_, and taking into account Captain Ukitake's handwritten letter, my immediate thought was that it some sort of cover up. Although, that wouldn't have explained why the 5th Division was the only squad to receive his papers... Well, I suppose that it doesn't matter now."

Momo had to concentrate hard in order to keep her breathing under control. Honestly, _a filing mistake_? Was _that_ the best explanation they could come up with?! Miyuki was right, who in their right minds would have believed such utter _nonsense_! This mess bore the undeniable tang of Captain Kyouraku's dramatics and Matsumoto's scheming... Momo made a mental note to have a little chat with said Captain and soon-to-be lieutenant once she-

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Hitsugaya had raised a white eyebrow quizzically, but Momo decided to ignore him in favour of her lieutenant. Miyuki could not know about the array of emotions that had been building inside of her – no, Miyuki could not know that anything was wrong. "I see. So you will be returning to the office?"

"Yes, I have to deal with the recruits. We got a good batch this year, Captain. As usual, most of the kidou specialists ended up with us, so it looks very promising in that area. But that said, I think that we received a good overall mix of abilities," Miyuki smiled, still feeling rather proud over her efforts. Although the graduating students were welcomed to apply to any of the Gotei 13 Divisions, an experienced eye could often recognize which squad would suit each individual's personality and skills the best. It was a matter of understanding the changing needs of one's division, which wasn't always an easy task even for a practised lieutenant. "Ah, actually, if you would like, Captain, I could give them the introductory speech?"

"Thank you, I would appreciate it if you could. I will join you later, but that would depend on how quickly we... er, finish here." Momo involuntarily looked down on her feet, silently wondering _what_ exactly had to be finished, considering that they had barely spoken to each other yet. But one quick glance at the wide grin that was slowly spreading over Miyuki's face told her that her lieutenant had jumped to her own conclusions.

"Of course, Captain." Miyuki bowed lightly to her superior and prepared to leave in the direction of the 5th Division. But before she disappeared, she turned around to wave to the two shinigami, yelling, "Oi, Hitsugaya! I'm counting on you to take good care of my Captain, alright?"

An familiar anger vein appeared on said Hitsugaya's forehead and began to throb dangerously, "It's Capt-"

But before he could complete his sentence, Momo interrupted him, "Not yet it's not. You're not technically reinstated."

She prayed that he hadn't noticed that she froze the moment she uttered those words. So, she had finally brought herself to speak to him on her own accord, and her first words had been _these_?! Admittedly, she didn't know what ought to have been said instead, but surely, _surely_, berating him for misusing a title – which he would regain as soon as the next day – shouldn't have been it.

"You're right. Old habit, I suppose." Hitsugaya sighed at the said technicality, but was relieved that she had said anything at all. He hoped that she hadn't noticed how he had become increasingly nervous as the pressing silence between them had grown increasingly colder. "I don't know if you've noticed it, but your lieutenant reminds me of a certain 10th Division acting Captain."

She smiled politely at the comparison, but it was a strained smile, devoid of any genuine emotion. "I've never really thought about it, but Miyuki _does_ share certain similarities with Rangiku... maybe that is why they are such good friends."

Hitsugaya just nodded, and a renewed silence settled over them as they walked in the direction of the 10th Division. But when they finally reached their destination, he took it upon himself to break the stillness.

"Ah, I better go to make sure that Matsumoto hasn't completely wrecked the division in my absence – I wonder how many years worth of backlogged paperwork will be waiting for me." He forced his lips to curl slightly upwards, but the effort was only half-hearted and the stiff smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Besides, there is the small matter of reintroducing myself to the men – I'd much rather get that over and done with before the initiation ceremony tomorrow. So-"

"Of course, and Miyuki is waiting for me with our new recruits, and I still have quite a lot of paperwork to complete for tomorrow... The division budget is due soon." She knew that she had sounded gruffer than was necessary, but she felt that she needed to get away from him – she needed to get away as soon as she could. She didn't know how much longer she could remain in control of herself.

"I see."

There was something in the tone of his voice that prompted her to look at him, but she immediately regretted her decision. _Why_ did he seem intent on studying her with those _eyes_? _Why_ did it feel like he could see straight through her?

"You will attend the ceremony tomorrow?" He broke through her thoughts once more.

"I will act in accordance to the Head-Captain's instructions. It _is_ part of my duties as a Captain." The formality in her voice was deafening, and for a moment they just stared at each other until the intensity of his green orbs forced her to lower hers to the ground.

"Of course."

And with those two, simple words, he turned away from her. But the air was thick with the words that_ weren't_ spoken out loud. They were the words that neither of them was ready to say... words that perhaps never would be spoken at all.

--

She commanded her feet to walk, but they ignored her as her eyes followed him through the enormous doors leading to the 10th Division headquarters, tracing every millimetre of his disappearing figure. From behind he looked just like... She was surprised that he still carried Hyourinmaru across his back when he seemed to be just tall enough to have his zanpakutou comfortably by his side. The green sash over his black robes was also unchanged, and she knew, without knowing why, that the shade of green would be exactly the same as it had always been.

It would seem that old habits truly died hard.

_**Died**_**... **

She still couldn't grasp the fact that he had done just that, and then somehow had managed to come back... Even after the Head-Captain's patient explanation, it was simply too impossible to comprehend.

For the first time in many, many years, she felt completely and utterly lost. What was she supposed to think, do, and feel? She had absolutely no idea... Of course, she had fantasized about his sudden miraculous return, especially in the beginning, imagining the happiness and relief bubbling in her chest when she saw him again _alive_. But now, when it seemed that he really had come back, where was that euphoria? She just felt numb and strangely empty. She couldn't understand why – shouldn't she have hugged him and ruffled his snow white hair by now? Shouldn't she feel an overwhelming happiness? Shouldn't she feel _anything_?

But before she could think any further, her thoughts were interrupted by a high-pitched squeal of delight, _"Captain, you're finally here!" _which was followed by an exasperated _"Get off, MATSUMOTO!"_

The commotion that originated from Squad 10, and the familiarity of the loud, comical exchange between the former lieutenant and her former Captain, brought a weak smile to the 5th Division Captain's lips and momentarily weakened the hardness in her brown eyes. That fierce protest, which had always and inevitably followed one of Matsumoto's bone-crushing hugs... she had thought that she would never hear it again.

The smile, however, quickly faded when a new possibility entered her mind.

_Was this real, or was it nothing more than another, well-crafted illusion?_

How did she know for certain that this _really_ was happening? Yes, how could she know that any of this was truly _real_? Considering that the explanation for his return defied all that she thought that she knew about souls, shinigami and even Soul Society itself, _could_ it be real, even? Or was this another pathetic hope that would be revealed to be less substantial than air? Was it merely a feverish hallucination that was about to be crushed under the weight of hard reality? Could it be that her imagination finally had overwhelmed reason? Or was it simply a dream? If she pinched herself, would she wake up in her quarters, or perhaps slumped over her office desk? But, if it was a dream, would she _want_ to wake up... or would she rather exist in a happy fantasy? Had she finally lost her frenzied grip on reality? Had she finally gone insane?

Perhaps he was just a fragment of her imagination... or maybe, _just maybe_ – **this time** – he would be real.

Momo had to admit that she didn't know which, because she could no longer tell the difference between the two. She had lost that ability a long, long time ago.

* * *

Hm, this couldn't all just have been wishful thinking on Momo's part, could it? What if it was just part of her imagination?

(Author cackles evilly in the background... all while happily sipping a brew of green tea and rejecting drafts for next chapter.)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	17. Inside the Head of

**Chapter 17: Inside the Head of...**

**Matsumoto Rangiku**

As soon as she relaxed her death-grip on him, the white-haired shinigami firmly shoved her away from him with a familiar frown etched across his face. She looked at him in surprise – she had grown used to his gruff behaviour over the (at times, seemingly _endless_) years as his lieutenant and she hadn't expected that to have changed... but she was certain that the last time she had forcibly hugged her Captain, he had struggled helplessly in her embrace until she chose to _release _him.

Yes, something about him was definitely _different_. Somehow, he seemed stronger and perhaps even a little bit bigger than she remembered...

This realization prompted a closer inspection of her newly-arrived, former superior, and she made two startling discoveries. Although she was tempted to quickly conclude that he looked the same as he always had with his scowl, green eyes, and unruly white hair, a second glance revealed that Hitsugaya Toushirou actually seemed to have lost some of the boyish softness over his facial features... and what more, he had definitely become a bit _taller_! It was clear that he would never be on eye level with Zaraki, or even Renji – well, if things didn't drastically and unexpectedly change over the next couple of centuries, which they could, although she highly doubted it – Captain Hitsugaya seemed destined to remain vertically challenged. _But_, even so, she could no longer look down on him quite like she used to. She silently wondered why she hadn't noticed it earlier, but when she had been called to that fated emergency meeting, she had been too stunned by the impossible fact that he was _alive_ to have spared even a thought to anything else, much less of the possibility that he could have undergone any kind of changes.

_But it wasn't like that really mattered... now that he was back where he belonged._

_At last._

Yes, he really was back – her little Captain, who no longer was so little...

She had happily agreed to relinquish the command of the 10th Division to him when his identity and capability to lead a squad were finally confirmed. He _belonged_ in the 10th Division office, wearing Squad 10's white haori, and she _belonged_ as his lieutenant – it was as simple as that. Despite being offered the captaincy of the 3rd Division, she had held firm in her resolution to revert to her former lieutenant status. Despite of the considerable demotion, it hadn't been a very difficult decision; after all, she had never wanted to replace her Captain to begin with. She had pushed herself and her lazy zanpakutou to bankai so that the Head-Captain wouldn't have any practical reasons to replace her with a stranger, but for no other reason than that.

So now that _her_ Captain was back, no other arrangement would do.

But she did ask for permission to continue to act as a mentor for Izuru. When the arrancar war finally came to an end, the Head-Captain had surprised them all by allowing Momo, Shuuhei, and Izuru to remain at their posts, effectively placing upon them the duties and responsibilities of acting Captains. Seireitei had expected that all the affected lieutenants eventually would be replaced, especially Momo, who had been dealt a double blow of loss at her friend's death so soon following the betrayal by her former Captain. But, instead, the Commander-General had assigned regular Captains to oversee the recoveries of the lieutenants and their squads, and to discreetly act as their advisors if needed; Ukitake had, as expected, been chosen for Momo, while Komamura had been the natural choice for Shuuhei. However, no suitable Captain had been found for Izuru, until she had demanded that he would be placed under _her_ guidance. She was fully aware of that her decision had surprised more than one shinigami, including the Head-Captain, but she had stubbornly stood by her request, and after years of hard work, she had helped to rebuild her friend's shattered self-belief. Unlike the others, Izuru had, if unknowingly, held an active part in Aizen's plans and was indirectly responsible for both Momo's and Hitsugaya's severe injuries; she knew that despite of all the reassurances and the overwhelming evidence that he had been just as manipulated like everyone else, that knowledge had been hard on him. So although he had grown to become a competent and trusted leader of his squad, and technically didn't need her anymore, she wanted it to be _his_ decision – she had no right to make it for him. When he was ready, he would tell her. She had no doubts about that.

She glanced at Hitsugaya, who had just finished smoothing out his ruffled black shinigami robes with an indignant expression still plastered on his face. It was strange to see him in standard uniform without his white haori, but it wouldn't be long until it would hang off his shoulders once more. After the ceremony tomorrow, the Head-Captain would officially return to him his rank of Captain, together with the coveted symbol of his position.

She could still hear his fervent insistence that he would take the Captain Proficiency Test in front of the entire Seireitei. In his case, the test itself was an unnecessary formality since he technically already had secured all of the required recommendations, as well as the special approval of the Head-Captain himself, for instant reinstatement. But she had understood his decision and even anticipated something like that from him; it had been so typical of her stubborn Captain – undoubtedly, the decision stemmed from the desire to prove, beyond all doubt and speculation, that he still was powerful.

_It was funny how certain things never changed, death or not._

But as her Captain stood there alone and surrounded by excited and curious shinigami, who had heard the ruckus and were now openly staring at their former commander, she was struck by how much actually _had_ changed since he last stepped inside his division building. Although the surroundings were mostly the same, save from some much needed repairs in the wake of the more 'energetic' activities of their violent neighbours, she realized that it was unlikely that he would recognize many of the squad members. The arrancar war had exhausted the 10th Division, just as it had the other squads, and while fresh recruits from the Academy had filled the spaces in the ranks, even then the mighty Gotei 13 had required years to recover to the level of its former strength.

She could tell that he, too, realized that things had changed while he was gone, perhaps even more than he had anticipated; she had known him for so long that she had acquired rudimentary skills in deciphering his various moods, although she knew that she wouldn't ever reach Momo's level of understanding. So that unfamiliar, slightly hesitant look in his green eyes told her that he needed some time to regroup – he needed to be alone, to catch his breath.

So she barked orders of an immediate briefing at the training grounds for the entire division. Actually, it wasn't a bad idea, she thought – she might as well take the opportunity to inform them some of the fundamental changes that were about to affect them all in the very near future. Besides, it would probably be quite beneficial for everyone to start off with an explanation of just _why_ a supposedly _deceased_ Captain was standing in their midst.

Then a sudden thought hit her: unless something extremely unexpected happened, that meeting could very well be her last act as temporary Captain of the 10th Division. Perhaps it would indeed be her last after _twenty_ _years_ of service...

When she turned to nod a respectful goodbye to him, she thought that she received a brief, small smile of gratitude from the white-haired shinigami. But she quickly brushed it off as part of her over-excited imagination_._ It was simple:_ her _Captain didn't crack spontaneous smiles like that... or smile at all, really.

_Her_ Captain scowled.

But still, she couldn't help but leaving the building with a big, radiant grin of her own.

_Her Captain had finally come back to them, and now everything would be alright again._

She just knew it.

_**--**_

**Hinamori Momo**

She remembered that she had promised Miyuki an explanation for the supposedly dead war hero's sudden reappearance, but she didn't walk back to the 5th Division office once he had disappeared behind the 10th Division doors, and when she thought that she regained at least some control over her muscles. Instead, her feet carried her out of Seireitei and into the first district of western Rukongai. She ignored the openly curious and fearful looks that met her as she aimlessly wandered around the labyrinth that was Junrinan. She had no idea where she was headed, but that made no difference to her. The day's bewildering revelations had left her confused and breathless, and she desperately needed to collect her shattered mind and to _think_.

She couldn't concentrate inside the white walls of Seireitei, so she returned to the part of Soul Society that she had once called home, in hope of finding the calm that she needed if she was to somehow sort through her many conflicting thoughts and feelings. Finally, she wandered into a secluded garden, at last finding some privacy in the shade of a group of budding cherry trees. She leaned her back against one of the smooth trunks, closing her eyes and feeling the breeze against her burning face.

_What... What had actually happened after she had entered the 1st Division building? Why were her memories from the afternoon so blurred? The file, the Head-Captain's office, the stranger, the seemingly unbelievable explanation for his supposed return... _

_Could it really be...? Could it really be that he was back? Was it _true_? Was it _true_ that Shiro really...?_

_Shiro_...

She forced herself to relive all of her precious moments with him – every word, scent, and sound. She recalled their childhood together as a couple of carefree Junrinan brats, bickering and eating watermelons on the porch to the last rays of the setting sun. In her mind, she could see his defiant little face as he yelled that he wouldn't miss her when she left him to become a shinigami. Then, her excitement when she found that he, too, had entered the Academy; the pride over his achievement together with those small, but undeniable stabs of jealousy when he seemed to excel at everything he tried with no apparent effort at all; the initial shock and genuine admiration when she finally learned of the identity of the new 10th Division Captain. She could still feel the warmth that had seemed to radiate from him when he looked at her with those deep green eyes; and his care and concern when she disturbed his sleep with her pathetic whimpers and tears... She remembered the night before he left – she could still hear the gentle tone of his voice when he told her his secret. She remembered the biting loneliness, pain, anger, and hopelessness in his absence, and then, the stillness when she at last had brought herself to bid him goodbye. Finally, her thoughts wandered to the man she had met in the Head-Captain's office, the man that General-Commander Yamamoto claimed was Shiro...

But if the Head-Captain said so, then it could be no mistake. It hadn't been an illusion or a dream... He really had returned.

Shiro had come back.

He was back. He was back. He was back.

_He was back._

She said that simple sentence out loud over and over, but it rolled uneasily over her tongue and the words were strangely tasteless.

_Was the white-haired man from earlier really Shiro?_

Shiro, who had been her best and oldest friend. Shiro, who somehow had forgiven her all of her sins. Shiro, who had loved her for everything she was, and for all the things that she wasn't. Shiro, who had left her to fight Aizen. Shiro, who had defeated the traitor. _Shiro, who died in Las Noches._

Yes, he had died in the midst of ice, water, blood, and devastation. He had drawn his last breath so far away from home.

_He had died without her._

Over the years, she had loved him; she had grieved for him, longed for him, ached for him, and finally made a fragile peace with him... her _Shiro_.

So, the man who had stood before her, who had walked with her, talked to her, and who then had disappeared through the doors of the 10th Division_...Who was he?_

_Hitsugaya Toushirou._

He claimed that he was Hitsugaya Toushirou.

The Head-Captain had accepted him, the other Captains had accepted him, even the Central 46 Chambers had accepted him, and tomorrow, Seireitei would accept him as just _that_ – it would accept him as Hitsugaya Toushirou, Captain of the 10th Division of the Gotei 13 and the wielder of Hyourinmaru.

In the light of the Head-Captain's explanation, then, perhaps, that was true. _Maybe_.

But, all the same, that man, Hitsugaya Toushirou... he wasn't Shiro.

Even as the thought was forming in her mind, a second voice fought to be heard: _Why was that? Why couldn't he be? Why couldn't Hitsugaya Toushirou be Shiro? After all, he always had been before, hadn't he? So why not now?_

_**Why, Hinamori Momo? **_**Why**_**?**_

She focused her attention on a small cherry blossom growing on a branch next to her head, as if the answers could be found within the soft layers of the budding flower. But of course, it remained silent, merely swaying lightly to the rhythm of the spring breeze. It was smaller than the rest, growing in the shadow of its peers. She surprised herself with wondering if the thin, sun-starved bud would survive, if it eventually would flower with the same life and vibrancy as the others, and if its scent would be as sweet...

_He simply couldn't be, because her Shiro had died a long time ago and he would never come back._

As she stood there in the shadow of the slender cherry trees, silently contemplating the significance of her conclusion, reality made itself known as the cool wind sent shivers down her spine. She had been buried so deep in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed that the garden was now bathing in the last rays of sunshine, and that the air was quickly losing its comforting warmth. Soon, yet another evening would fall over Soul Society.

It was time to head back – she had been away for too long already. Miyuki would probably have started to worry as soon as her Captain's spiritual pressure vanished from within Seireitei. Poor girl, she had suddenly and unexpectedly been left stranded with the responsibility for the entire division, as well as for a group of lost recruits, without as much as an explanation...

The more she thought about it, the angrier she felt. This maddening carousel of confused thoughts couldn't possibly be allowed to go on – she couldn't afford any more distractions, even if... Yes, even now, she could not allow herself to forget who she was. She could not forget that she was a Captain first and Hinamori Momo second. The Gotei 13 had bestowed upon her the responsibilities and duties as one of its thirteen Captains; in return, it was expected that she would bear those responsibilities and duties with the poise and dignity that reflected the pride of her rank. She could not forget that – it simply wouldn't do if she did. She had worked too hard for her captaincy – she had worked too hard to be strong – to give up now. She refused to give up.

But... sometimes, she wished that there weren't so many things to _be_, and so many things to _remember_. Even the mighty Captains of the Gotei 13 stood powerless before _fact,_ and fact was that reality was reality, and the ceaseless cycle of life and death would go on – with or without her.

She would just have to grit her teeth and pull herself together...

_All over again_.

_--_

**Hitsugaya Toushirou**

He was certain that he had never felt so nervous in his entire life... or _lives_, depending on how he looked at it. After all, he seemed to have had at least two.

_Hinamori_.

This was his oldest and dearest friend, the one who had always known him better than anyone else, and she had lived years without him – even rising to the rank of Captain of her squad. She had grown, changed... and he hadn't been there to see it.

He had refused to show himself to her until he had ensured that he still was powerful. Of course, he had acknowledged that it was rather childish, but it was important, no _crucial_ that he still could protect her. It had sounded ridiculously illogical even to his own ears, but the fact that she now was a Captain and obviously could protect herself didn't matter the slightest to him. He couldn't explain why or how – he just _knew_.

_Instinct overwhelmed reason._

He was fully aware of just how stupid it sounded – and so, for obvious reasons he hadn't mentioned it to anyone – but it was an undisputable fact that couldn't be expressed in any other way. When it came to _her_, he had the distinct feeling that reason had always come second, and he suspected that it would continue to do so.

_Momo._

When he reported to the 1st Division as requested by Captain Ukitake, he had promptly been showed to a small side-room and been told to wait for the Head-Captain there. The request had been as surprising as it had been irritating, and only his genuine respect for, and gratefulness to the General-Commander had prevented him from leaving.

When she barged into the Head-Captain's office, and he instinctively recognized the familiar spiritual pressure, he had immediately stopped pacing. When she angrily asked for an explanation for some Academy prodigy and a recruitment file, his heart had pounded so violently that he had been afraid that she would hear him through the wall. Her voice had been so hard, cold, and commanding – a voice he didn't recognize at first.

His own nonchalance had surprised him, but a series of words had just slipped out of his mouth. He couldn't remember exactly what he had said, but it had prompted her to demand that he would reveal himself. After that moment, his memory came to an abrupt end; when he finally walked out from the small room, entering the Head-Captain's office and approaching her from behind, his mind had gone completely blank. Everything else had seemed of very little significance, now that he would finally come face to face with her.

_So this was Captain Hinamori Momo._

_So this would be the meeting that he had both longed for and dreaded._

In her white, sleeveless haori with the numbered diamond across her back, and with her zanpakutou securely fastened at her side, she had looked every bit a respectable Captain of the Gotei 13. Even from behind, her posture seemed to convey both pride and confidence, and she even seemed taller than he remembered. But she no longer wore her dark hair pulled back in a neat bun; instead, it had been hanging freely over her shoulders, framing the soft contours of her face. He couldn't help but sending a quick thought to the Pink Menace of Squad 11 and her seemingly never-ending supply of ridiculous nicknames – he wondered what the new one was, since "Bun-Bun" no longer seemed appropriate.

When he stood by the Head-Captain's side, he had secretly scrutinized every millimetre of her, trying to imprint all those new details into his memories. She had looked somewhat older, wearier than he remembered – her large, brown eyes and the faint lines on her forehead revealed worries and concerns that he didn't think that she had known before. But those minor differences had seemed utterly irrelevant: it was a strange, unexplainable feeling, but to him it seemed as if she had never looked quite so... so _beautiful_.

But as much as he had longed to finally see her again, the actual sight of her had brought with it a strange, pounding ache – who was she, the shinigami Captain standing in front of him? _Who was she really? _Was she still the same, kind girl from so very long ago, with whom he once had shared countless of moments... or had time rendered her unrecognizable? Could it be that the girl, who once had been his best friend, had become a _stranger_?

But more importantly, was he a stranger to her? Of course, he knew that it would only be natural if she regarded him as such – after all, he had been dead to her for so many, many years... She had stared at him and her big, brown eyes had revealed traces of hope, but also shock, confusion, and suspicion, before closing themselves to him completely. Although those expressions had filled him with sadness, it had been her refusal to let him in that hurt the most. It was a privilege that his "other self" had accepted without much thought or particular appreciation, but which he would now have to _earn_. It was a privilege that she might not grant him at all...

So what if she was gone... what if his childhood friend had been destroyed by Aizen, war, pain, death, and years of grief?

_What would he-_

He didn't dare to complete that thought, unwilling to put it in words. If he did, the unsettling prospect would assume a definite form, and so it would become more _real_ than he was ready, or wanted to admit.

As they had walked towards his division in a heavy, awkward silence, he had frantically wished that he knew what to say in order to bridge the bottomless abyss that separated them from each other. It had been just as strange as it had been unsettling – in another lifetime, even a moment of complete silence in her company would have been unimaginable; as far as he could remember, she had always been more articulate than he. But that had, of course, also been in another lifetime... literally.

No, despite of all that, he was fully determined not to give her up to formal acquaintanceship and polite indifference. But in order to do so – as much as he hated the idea – he knew that he would have to wait for her to allow him access to her world by her own free will: Captain Ukitake had been particularly adamant about that point.

But of course, he had thought about that already. After all, he wouldn't become the Captain of a Gotei 13 Division for the _second_ time, by being short-sighted, thoughtless, and stupid. As hard as it was, he did understand.

_She would need to think. _He understood that.

_She would need space. _He understood that.

_She would need time. _He understood that.

She would need all those things _away_ from him, and as much as he resented the damned idea, deep down he understood that, too.

Still, he wasn't particularly fond of waiting...

But for her sake, he would try.

--

He breathed a shallow sigh of relief as the last shinigami left the office building. He had given Matsumoto a small smile to convey his thanks for her unexpected thoughtfulness, but he almost immediately regretted his decision. He had never been one to readily smile at others – he still wasn't – and she probably wouldn't have noticed anyway.

Returning to his former division had been more difficult than he had imagined. He had reviewed a number of possible scenarios in his head beforehand, but the stares from his former division members had been a little bit...unsettling, and Matsumoto's suffocating embrace hadn't helped either.

Although the building looked mostly the same as he remembered it, he hadn't recognized many of the faces – so many of those he had known were gone, undoubtedly the victims of the arrancar war and the years that followed... It seemed that it would take him more time to adapt than he had anticipated.

He slowly made his way towards what he just _knew_ was the Captain's office, but subconsciously dragging his feet a little. He wondered what changes would wait for him once he entered his room... No, _the_ room, not _his_ room – he quickly corrected himself. After all, Matsumoto had inhabited it for almost two decades.

But when he slid open the door, his green eyes widened with surprise: the desk, the chair, the couch, the bookcases... He couldn't explain why, but, somehow he just... _he_ _knew them_.

Yes, somehow he _knew_ that everything looked the same as how he had left them, as if untouched by time, creating the illusion that no one had used the office for the entire duration of his absence. If he bothered to inspect the multitude of books that filled the shelves, he was certain that he would find that none had been moved out of place.

_She had saved it for him._

He didn't know what could have prompted her to do so, but it left him feeling strangely warmed. Matsumoto had preserved his office, despite knowing that he most certainly wouldn't come back. His respect for his soon-to-be lieutenant rose, and he didn't know how he would express his gratitude.

Perhaps he could try to forgive her for the mountains of paperwork that were bound to have accumulated over the years, and which he undoubtedly would have to deal with first thing the next day and would continue to have to deal with for at least another few centuries...

But when he thought about it, the room was completely devoid of the familiar stacks of paperwork. It was an ordinary working day, so there was no logical reason as to why the 10th Division hadn't received its share of files and reports as usual.

_Unless_... No, could that really mean that...?

It certainly seemed incredible, but it would appear that the current 10th Division Captain somehow had managed to complete all of her paperwork _on time_. As odd as it may be, it would seem that Matsumoto had borne the responsibilities of a Captain exceptionally well... although he had to admit – even if it would only be to himself – that he wasn't too surprised. He never seriously thought that she would have wrecked the division. Rather, he had always believed that she would be capable of bearing such duties, even if he had worried that she lacked the necessary self-discipline to fulfil her potential. But this exceeded his expectations – all evidence pointed toward the shocking conclusion that Matsumoto had grown with the size of her responsibilities, and that made him feel rather... proud.

It was the very same feeling that had filled him when she happily agreed to step down as Captain and calmly requested back her old status as his lieutenant – she had even refused to relieve Kira of his duties at the 3rd Division. He had been as surprised as everyone else; he knew from Captain Ukitake that she had finally achieved bankai, so he had simply just assumed that she would have taken the Captain Proficiency Test as well. He knew that he most certainly would have, had he been in her shoes – her bankai and her leadership experience made her a prime candidate for any empty Captain position. A rather _perfect_ candidate, actually; she would have been far more prepared for the role than he had been when he first took up office as the new Captain of the 10th Division. Although he never admitted it back then, and would be hard pressed to do so now, he had indeed been young and inexperienced; he had still been blissfully unaware of the extensive bureaucracy that was involved in the running a Gotei 13 squad, and of all the long hours he would come to spend at his desk. Had he known, he might have thought twice before pushing for bankai... But again, probably not: he wouldn't trade his haori for anything Soul Society or the living world had to offer.

In any case, surely Matsumoto knew that she only had to say the word and she could be Captain of her own squad as early as the next day, and yet, she wanted to stay with him as his second. Her loyalty to him and to their division moved him more than he would ever admit openly, especially to her, but he suspected that she already knew how he felt. After all, wasn't it Matsumoto who had been the one to repetitively tell him never to underestimate a woman's intuition? Whatever that actually entailed... he still wasn't sure.

Although, he dryly warned himself, he would have to careful not to lavish her with too much praise, since he had no way of knowing just how deserving she was. Who knew how much of the old, lazy Matsumoto would resurface once he had taken up office, and they were presumably back at their usual bickering? Besides, there was always the very _real_ possibility that she had delegated the grunt of the paperwork to the new 3rd Seat and the rest of Squad 10's officer personnel. And not to speak of her drinking habits... he would have to enquire about that at some point as well. But not now – it could wait.

He walked up to the large wooden desk – the natural focal point of the spacious room – tracing its cool surface with his fingertips, before carefully sitting himself down on the chair.

_Would it still be..._?

He wasn't disappointed. The cushioned seat was just as comfortable as he remembered.

As he looked out over his old office, which was filled with so much familiarity and dormant memories, he decided that he could afford one short, curt nod of approval.

_It felt... good to be back._

* * *

Three shinigami. Three snapshots.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach.


	18. Lost and Found

**Chapter 18: Lost and Found**

As he sat in the Captain's office, which soon would be his once more, he finally let his thoughts wander to Chinatsu – he wondered what she could be doing. Reading, perhaps? Or scolding Isamu? Knowing her, and knowing the capabilities of the little brat equally well, the latter seemed the more likely of the two.

_Chinatsu_...

To his astonishment, she hadn't raised more questions about the unexpected turn of events; instead, she had calmly accepted the revelations about his past, and his subsequent absences, as part of life. She had, however, made him swear a solemn oath that he wouldn't forget about her or the youngsters, and that he would remember to visit them regularly once he had been admitted back into the Gotei 13.

He smiled at the memory of the intensity of her normally placid gaze when she demanded that promise; at the time, he had just arched one eyebrow questioningly – Chinatsu really could be so stupid sometimes, and he had informed her accordingly; she knew better than thinking that he would forget about her, even for a moment! Although protocol required that he resided inside Seireitei, he would visit them as often as he could, and he would certainly make sure that they weren't lacking in anything – being a Captain had its upsides, and she deserved nothing but the best.

After all, she was the one who found him.

--

When he suddenly appeared in western Rukongai's first district, all he could recall was his name. However, the distinct feeling that something was missing, that he was searching for something, had haunted him from the very beginning, and so he had wandered aimlessly among Junrinan's houses, market squares, and alleys.

That is, he had walked until a soft, distinctively female voice had called out to him.

"What are you looking for?"

He had turned around, discovering that the voice belonged to a young woman dressed in a simple but elegant dark green kimono. Her long, brown hair had been collected in a neat braid, and her smile had been sincere. However, it was her eyes that had hindered him from turning his back on her, and to simply walk away: the woman's deep grey orbs had been overflowing with an undecipherable kindness. At the time, he hadn't known why those eyes had captivated him; it hadn't been until much later that he had finally understood – she had Momo's eyes.

"I don't know." He had scowled at her unexpected forwardness, but he had answered her truthfully. At the same time, he remembered silently wondering what had prompted this stranger to speak to him at all. He had completely ignored the presence of the people around him – he had no interest in them, and they had shown no interest in him. Why would she be any different?

"Whatever it is, you'll find it quicker if we look together," the woman had said calmly as if stating an obvious fact. "My name is Miyamoto Chinatsu. What's yours? Did you just arrive here?"

He had been stunned, rendered speechless by the warmth of her spontaneity – the stranger had seemed to have taken no notice of his obvious and very intentional iciness. Against his will, her behaviour had aroused his genuine curiosity: who was she, this person, who seemed so different from all the others he had met since his arrival in Soul Society?

Perhaps it was the sincerity in her eyes, or maybe it was the sheer friendliness that had seemed to radiate from her person, because before he had a chance to think any further, he had suddenly found himself answering her questions with a measured nod.

"I'm Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya Toushirou."

A smile had slowly formed over her lips, starting at the corners of her mouth and gradually spreading until it reached her glittering eyes – Chinatsu had allowed a soft chuckle to escape from her lips when he first told her his name. But oddly enough, he had felt neither threatened nor ridiculed by her, since there had been no malice in her eyes or in her gentle laugh. He had simply wondered what she possibly could have found so amusing about it.

"So you are winter? I should have guessed. Well then, Toushirou, shall we go?"

That's how he had met her, she who would become his sister.

He never questioned why he had accompanied her to her home when dusk had begun to fall over Junrinan, nor had she invited him to follow her. It had simply been a quiet understanding between them.

That very evening of their first meeting, they had been sitting on her porch, sipping green tea, enjoying – if still only tentatively – the comfort of each other's company, while admiring the distant stars. Then Chinatsu had finally put an end to the peaceful silence by telling him her story: she had told him that she once had lived happily together with her grandfather, but that she had been alone ever since he passed away from old age. The sadness that had slowly crept into her eyes and clouded their gentle grey, told him that she still grieved for her loss; the kind old man had been the one to welcome her when she arrived in Junrinan all those years ago, afraid and alone. She had been lucky; he had opened his home and his heart to her as if she was a long-lost grandchild. When she sensed his unspoken question, she had continued to explain that in Rukongai you didn't choose your family, your family chose you.

_Chinatsu had chosen him._

That realization sparked a curious sense of belonging, but at the same time he had been struck by the unfamiliarity of the word 'family'. It had held no special meaning to him, but when he saw her distant gaze and subdued smile, he had decided that he would do his best to learn to like it. He had felt as if he at least owed her that.

--

The first weeks with her had been difficult. He hadn't understood why, but he had felt mildly uncomfortable by her presence. He hadn't understood why – Chinatsu never gave him a reason to feel that way; rather, it had been as if he wasn't used to such a close companionship. But Chinatsu never seemed to notice his discomfort – she treated him as a beloved brother, she taught him about Junrinan and Rukongai, she introduced him to her friends and neighbours, and she patiently accompanied him whenever his restlessness drove him to another fruitless search.

His conflicting feelings prompted him to wonder if he had been alone before he died.

He felt almost certain that he had. He could tell from the hollow iciness that seemed to be rooted at the very core of his being, but which he couldn't explain, at least not at first. Its presence comforted him, while it seemed to drive others away, as if his frostiness overwhelmed them. But it didn't affect everyone; Chinatsu didn't distance herself from him, no matter how disagreeable he was. So he hadn't minded that he lacked other companions – he had her and that was enough.

She was the warmth to his cool.

Chinatsu_._

_Summer._

Toushirou_._

_Winter._

True to their names, Chinatsu confessed a dislike of the cold, while he harboured an instinctive hostility to the warmer seasons. He hadn't been able to explain why, but he felt more at ease when the temperature plummeted and pure, icy winds filled his lungs. That was the only time when he had felt completely free and almost at peace. Yes, despite of his comfortable life with Chinatsu in Junrinan, he had felt as if something was missing; something that was small, but at the same time overwhelmingly significant. He had felt strangely incomplete, and he never stopped wondering if he ever would find that missing piece – it evaded him, no matter how hard he tried to find it.

But his search was temporarily interrupted by the addition of two new members to their makeshift family, and this time, it was he who had been the one to make the discovery.

On one of his early morning walks, he had come across two small children, a girl and a boy, huddled close together at the edge of an empty market square. The girl had looked young and fragile, with her long dark hair brushed back in a pair of unruly pigtails; the boy hadn't looked much older, looking quite scrawny even for his young age; a mop of short, brown hair had crowned his small head.

He hadn't recognized them, so he quickly reached the conclusion that they must have arrived in Soul Society only very recently. The boy had held the girl close to him, as if he had been afraid that she would be taken away if he let go. When they heard the sound of his footsteps, the boy had immediately stepped forward, so that his thin body shielded the girl from the stranger, and with a defiant scowl etched across his face.

The little boy's stubborn determination to protect his charge had caused an unfamiliar stir inside of his chest – the scene had invoked in him a mystifying feeling of loss and a faint, distant memory of _someone_ or _something_. It had hurt in an area of his anatomy that he normally never spared a second thought – namely, the regions around his heart. But with no explanation for the oddity available at the time, he had simply brushed it off.

He had approached them slowly, hoping that they would understand that he meant them no harm.

Then he had asked them if they knew where they were.

"They said that we would go to Soul Society. But that's really none of your business," the boy snapped defensively, eying him with obvious suspicion while the air of defiance had been reinforced by a deeper frown across his forehead.

But instead of losing his temper with the insolent little brat, Hitsugaya had merely nodded. "This is west Rukongai's first district. It's called Junrinan. You are very fortunate to be here."

"They said that, too." The little girl had timidly peeked out from behind the boy.

"When did you get here?" Judging from the damp patches on the hems of their clothes – undoubtedly remnants of morning dew – he had guessed that it must have been sometime during the night or early morning.

"Don't know."

"It was still dark."

That confirmed his suspicion.

"Then you have yet to meet your families?" he had blurted out in lack of anything else to say, but not entirely sure of why he had asked. After all, what were those two to him?

"Families?" The boy had momentarily forgotten about his hostility, and had looked up at him with eyes wide with curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, I think my sister would like to meet you." He had no idea why he had invited them with him; he had no experience with children – he hadn't even been certain that he liked them, they had always seemed so alien to him – and he hadn't seriously believed that they would follow a stranger that they had just met. But to his surprise, he had soon heard hesitant footsteps behind him.

Chinatsu had, just as he expected, welcomed the pair with open arms. He had looked on with amusement as the light and the warmth that seemed to radiate from her, slowly worked itself past their defences, just as it had on him.

Shortly after arriving at the house, the boy and the girl had retreated to one of the spare rooms and promptly fallen asleep. When they finally woke up, the stars were out, and he and Chinatsu had already been sitting on the porch for the best part of an hour – star-gazing was a comfortable habit they had adopted over time, and which they both enjoyed. The children had joined them, albeit hesitantly, as if unsure of their right to be there.

Chinatsu had smiled encouragingly at the pair, and while the boy demonstratively sat down well away from them, the girl had carefully settled next to her.

"My name is Mao", she had whispered with a shy smile. Then she had pointed to the boy, "That's Isamu. We came here together."

"I'm Chinatsu, and this is my brother, Toushirou."

"Brother? But you don't look anything alike." Mao's forehead had been wrinkled with concentration, as she first looked up at Chinatsu and then turned her eyes on him. "You have grey eyes and brown hair, while he has dark green eyes and black hair. You don't look alike at all."

The nature of Mao's simple observation had surprised them, but both Chinatsu and he were pleased that she had said anything at all.

"You're right, we do look quite different. But that doesn't mean that he's not my brother. You see, here we don't choose our families, but our families choose us," Chinatsu paused. "If you like, you could stay with us and be part of our family."

"No." The boy, whose name was Isamu, had spoken on his own accord for the first time, and he had eyed them both suspiciously. "Why would you take us in just like this? It's weird."

"No one should be left alone." Chinatsu had looked at the little boy, whose defiance seemed to shrink under her calm gaze.

"I want to stay, Isamu!" Mao had looked pleadingly at her companion. "They seem nice and I like them. Please, can we stay?"

"Fine, since we have nowhere else to go." The boy had crossed his arms over his chest, while Mao had coyly accepted a hug from Chinatsu. "But I'm not agreeing to some weird mom-dad-kids arrangement, you got that!"

"Don't you worry about that, nor am I." He had been secretly grateful that the rude little boy had cleared up their pending relation so effectively. "Why do I have the distinct feeling that you're going to be a handful, especially _you_?"

Isamu had just smirked in response before turning his back on them altogether.

Hitsugaya remembered that he, at that moment, had been overwhelmed by the sinking feeling that his peaceful coexistence with Chinatsu would change drastically.

* * *

Alright! Our favourite ice-wielder has a _family_?! How many saw that one coming, eh?

So say "hello" to Chinatsu, Isamu, and Mao!

As you probably noticed, this chapter is about Hitsugaya's past and thus told from his point of view. I'll probably continue with some background on his life prior to his acceptance back into the Gotei 13 for a couple more chapters, at least – hey, we've dwelled in Momo's memories for ELEVEN whole chapters, so it has to be somewhat fair. Besides, I want to know what he's been up to since he returned to Soul Society, too!

I hope you liked the chapter.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	19. Rubies and Emeralds

**Chapter 19: Rubies and Emeralds**

To his surprise, Mao and Isamu had settled into their new existence relatively quickly. The little girl soon revealed herself to be a bubbly, talkative, and inquisitive child; she took an immediate liking to Chinatsu, and developed a habit of following her around like an attention-starved shadow. But this initially left her first friend feeling rejected by her lack of interest in his deliberate antics, and Isamu had sulked for days before he realized that she hadn't abandoned him, really – he would just have to share her now. Although the little boy didn't like that idea one bit, he had decided to try to come to terms with it, if only for her sake.

Yes, Isamu found it a little bit more difficult to so readily accept the new people in his life, and to finally show them the true colours of his complex personality. Behind the scowling facade, generally prickly demeanour, and apparent disinterest in other people, the little brat was surprisingly bright, thoughtful, and sensitive to the feelings of others – he only expressed himself gruffly, while he in actuality was rather harmless. Hitsugaya had been surprised with himself that he followed the little boy's progress as closely as he had. But there had been something about Isamu that felt oddly familiar – at the time, he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but somehow he found that he _understood_ the little brat better than even Chinatsu could.

Unexpectedly, the feeling had seemed to be mutual. Isamu had reached out to him in his typically subtle manner long before he finally offered Chinatsu his undying friendship and devotion – namely, the little boy had begun to accompany him on his morning walks. One early morning, Isamu had simply stood there, waiting for him as he left the house and neither had commented on the one-time occurrence, which over time developed into a comfortable routine.

--

"What's that, Toshi?" Isamu had accompanied him as usual, and was pointing at something large in the distance. "Over there, that big white thing."

"That's Seireitei." He hadn't bothered to correct the youngster's intentional butchery of his name, since he knew that it was futile – only Chinatsu used his name correctly. Instead, his eyes had followed the direction of Isamu's extended finger towards the white walls of the Court of Pure Souls. He had never really thought about it before, but he remembered what Chinatsu had told him about the place."Shinigami and the nobles live there, and it is supposed to be protected by some kind of barrier. The only way into the city is through one of the four guarded gates positioned in the north, south, west, and east respectively. Supposedly on a clear day, you can even see the western gate from here."

"Shinigami?" Isamu's eyes had suddenly glittered with curiosity and interest. "What are those? Toshi, what's so special about them?"

"Shinigami can control their spiritual pressure and they use it to fight monsters called hollows," he said. At the time, while he had never seen a shinigami himself, Chinatsu knew several souls who eventually had joined the Gotei 13 and she had told him what she knew. "You've met at least one already, before you came to Rukongai."

"That's what they were? That's so... _cool!_" The boy had practically jumped up and down on the spot with excitement. "When I grow up, I wanna be a shinigami and live in Seireitei! I guess that I'd have to come visit you, Chinatsu, and Mao... not too often, though, since it looks way better than at home."

"You shouldn't say such things about matters you know absolutely nothing about." He had wrinkled his forehead at the boy's comments; he couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but something about Isamu's enthusiastic musings was disturbing – Chinatsu had also told him about the high mortality rates, as well as the rumoured relentlessness of certain Captains. It was ironic, but at that time, he had considered Seireitei with its shinigami to be a rather terrible place.

"Why not?" Isamu had looked thoroughly puzzled, but it hadn't bothered the boy for very long. "Well, I still say that I'd like to be a shinigami and fight hollows when I'm older. Yeah, someday, I wanna be the best shinigami there ever was! You just watch me, Toshi!"

--

Not long after he had gazed out over Seireitei's white walls, the dreams had begun. At first, he had dreamt about infinite plains of nothingness and of unending, engulfing darkness. The empty space had been permeated by an inescapable loneliness, a crushing stillness... and yet it had not hurt him. But the darkness had gradually yielded to light, and a lonely landscape had grown from the shadows. It had been harsh, barren – seemingly inhospitable to life itself – consisting of nothing but black rock of the clearest obsidian. As he wandered through the unforgiving, eerie landscape, he remembered feeling a sense of anticipation – it was as if the very ground and skies seemed to have been holding their breath, waiting for something that was still shrouded in impenetrable darkness.

However, that mysterious 'something' had been moving in the distance – he had felt it stirring in his entire being – and he had ached and he had longed, but for what, he not known. But whatever it was, he had felt it coming ever closer; it was as if it had been watching him from afar, but being oddly hesitant to whether or not it should make its presence known.

So he had waited – if impatiently – until it finally came, the night that he came face to face with the unknown entity.

The moment that he finally met Hyourinmaru.

The magnificent dragon of blackened ice had suddenly appeared before him to the rolls of thunder and howling wind, which had sent tremors through even the ground under his feet. But the dragon's lustrous, gleaming body, which ought to have effortlessly danced through the air with the swiftness of the wind, had instead been writhing in what he innately sensed could be nothing but _pain_ – it's sleek body had been contorted in violent convulsions, twisting and thrashing high above his head. The creature had raised its majestic head up towards the black, glassy skies, and a deafening roar had filled the air, merging with the crashes of thunder and shrieking wind. The deep roar had been filled with pride and defiance, but also loneliness... and longing.

The piercing roar had held a meaning he could understand, and at that moment, he had suddenly felt an unexplainable sense of relief.

The roar also seemed to have relieved the being of black ice of some of its pain, as it was suddenly perfectly still, imperiously gazing down at the man on the ground with its fiery, crimson eyes. Its blazing rubies had clashed with his own cold emeralds, and he had felt something unidentifiable stir in his inner core.

"You have forgotten! You have forgotten me. You have forgotten _yourself_."

The deep, thunderous voice had been deafening, and the dragon's arctic breath had stung his bare skin like a thousand tiny daggers. But the cold had not bothered him – he had been mesmerized by the crushing power, noble pride, and graceful beauty of the creature before him. There had been something familiar in the way that the dark dragon had spoken to him: its call had filled him, reverberating inside his chest as if it was probing his soul for an answer. Its voice had comforted him, and although he had been dwarfed by the enormous being, he had not been afraid.

Instead, for the first time since he could remember, he had felt content and, even if only vaguely, almost at peace.

"Who are you, dragon?" he had demanded, his voice barely audible over the crashes of thunder. "_Answer me_!"

At the time, he hadn't known what had prompted him to sound so commanding, but to his astonishment, the ruby eyes lost some of their sternness, glowing in a softer shade of crimson.

"I am you as you are me... Do not forget that, _boy_."

With those bewildering words, the graceful dragon had disintegrated into a raging blizzard, and he had woken up, shivering. His right hand had felt strangely heavy and curiously cold... _unnaturally_ cold. The pale moonlight that was seeping in through one of the open windows had danced on a thin layer of melting ice covering his bare skin. The pristine ice had been in the shape of a small four-pointed star.

He had gasped and his sleepy mind had immediately jolted to full attention.

_So it hadn't been a dream_... _But the ice- _

_How the hell could that have happened?!_

That concluded his first meeting with Hyourinmaru.

--

Although he only returned to the dark, empty plains sporadically, every night after their first meeting he had fallen asleep with the hope that he would meet the black ice-dragon again. He never told Chinatsu about his dreams, but the mysterious creature had invoked in him the conflicting feelings of power and weakness, exuberance and bereavement, pride and resignation... What was so disturbing about them was that these sensations had felt strangely _real_, and he had wanted to know why. He had felt an unexplainable but urgent _need_ to know why.

When they had finally met again, the mysterious dragon hadn't spoken to him, but merely lowered itself towards the dark, glassy ground so that they could look at each other eye to eye. Again, ruby orbs had met their emerald counterparts, and he had the unsettling feeling that the dragon could see straight into the very core of his soul, even challenging the man to gaze back into its own. But when he tried to return the piercing stare, the pain had been unbearable – his head and chest had been burning with cold heat and he had broken their connection, waking up to sweat-drenched bedclothes and a mess of tangled sheets.

With the strange dreams came the insatiable cravings, cravings that he recognized as _hunger_. As souls did not require food for sustenance, he had initially ignored the gnawing feeling in his stomach. But at last, he had been forced to tell Chinatsu, who, to his surprise, had just looked at him with a small, sad smile.

"I thought that something was beginning to change about you, Toushirou, and I was going to ask you about it. You see, it's about your hair...it-it's a bit different from before."

He had looked at her with ill-masked annoyance. Here he was trying to tell her something important – what had his hair to do with anything?

But as if she had understood his unvoiced question, Chinatsu had merely shaken her head and without another word, she had led him to the small pond in the garden. The reflection that met him made him gasp in surprise; the still water had revealed a familiar pair of dark green eyes, but the normally dark hair contained a small, but clearly visible, patch of white.

"What... why... _white_?" he had spluttered, while his eyes had narrowed with well-founded suspicion – it would have been typical of Isamu to do something like this in order to annoy him.

"I know what you're thinking, but it's not him this time."

"I see." He remembered thinking that if it hadn't been Isamu, then who? Could it have been Mao, perhaps? No, he had quickly concluded that it was near impossible for the little girl to be the culprit; he knew for a fact that Mao was much too well-behaved to do something like this. Luckily, one of the brats knew how to behave reasonably civilized.

"I hoped that it wouldn't happen, and I don't want you to go. But..." Chinatsu had looked at the ground, consciously avoiding his questioning gaze. "But I think that you should consider the Shinigami Academy. You're not ordinary, Toushirou – only those with high spiritual power can feel hunger."

Of course, he had known about the famous Academy, which was said to have been founded by the Commander-General of the Gotei 13 himself. It was the place where those with latent spiritual powers of abnormal levels were trained to become shinigami, _death gods_. Upon acceptance, the students would go through a six-year long course, during which time they learnt how to properly channel their spiritual energy, cleanse hollows, and perform soul burial duties in the living world.

_Everyone_ knew that.

But actually becoming a shinigami and eventually joining one of the squads of the Gotei 13? At the time, he hadn't been certain of what he really felt about that prospect.

But then a thought had suddenly entered in his mind, and he was surprised with himself that he hadn't thought about it earlier – perhaps he would finally understand the significance of the dragon that haunted his dreams... if he entered the Academy? Perhaps it was there he would finally find his answers...? But at the same time, he had surprised himself by being so reluctant at leaving Chinatsu, Mao, and even Isamu behind. He had pondered the situation for days, but he had been hopelessly torn between his family and the mysterious dragon. He knew instinctively that both claimed equal parts of his loyalty.

However, it had been none other than Isamu who, unexpectedly, made the decision for him. One evening, when he had been sitting on the porch, pondering over his decision, Isamu had plonked down on the stone steps by his feet.

"Chinatsu says that you might go to the Academy, but that you don't know if you want to, because you don't wanna leave us." The boy had looked up at him with a serious frown plastered across his little face. "I'll never forgive you if you don't try, Toshi – we'll still be here, you know. We're not going anywhere, if that's what's been bothering you. Besides, your hair is starting to look really weird with those white patches. You should get it fixed while you're at it."

He had looked down at the boy with his usual scowl, while he inwardly marvelled at the brat's simple logic. "It's _Toushirou_, Isamu, and what's that about my hair? It's a bit different, but I don't mind it."

"Whatever. You're such a weirdo, Toshi... and it's not like I'll miss you when you're finally gone, or anything."

"Suit yourself."

"Yeah, I will. And don't come home too often, ok?"

"Don't worry about it."

"I won't. But, um, Toshi?"

"What is it, Isamu?"

"Before you leave you have to teach me how to win at spinning tops, and you can't say no because I know for a _fact_ that you're good at it. Teach Mao, too."

_I might miss you too, brat._

_--_

The entrance exam had been surprisingly easy, but when he entered the Academy with the other first-year students, he had turned heads for another reason than the rumours of his test score: his dark hair had contained small, odd patches of white in a shade that could be comparable only to the colour of winter's first snow.

* * *

Could the change of hair colour possibly be a sign that something important may be happening soon? Oh, the joys of foreshadowing!

As you can see, Hitsugaya is still dwelling deep in thoughts about his past. I know that we're all itching to find out about the present, but all this reminiscing will make sense in a little bit, I promise. Besides, it gives us all a chance to see how much (or little, depending on how one looks at it) he has changed. I hope that you liked the chapter.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.


	20. Discovered

**Chapter 20: Discovered**

He had wondered why certain classrooms, corridors, dormitories, parks, and training grounds of the Shinigami Academy had felt vaguely familiar. It had been a strange feeling... yes, he had carried a peculiar feeling that he had seen them before, that he somehow had been there already. But dismissing that to be firmly impossible, he attributed those feelings to his vivid imagination – after all, he _had_ been dreaming about an enormous, speaking ice-dragon.

Still, he couldn't explain them. There were so many things that he couldn't explain, and he had grown steadily more impatient. He had entered the Academy for the sole purpose of finding answers, but all he seemed to achieve was to raise a multitude of new questions.

Otherwise – now that he had the benefit of looking back at both of his experiences – he could only conclude that his second time at the Academy had been almost as uneventful as the first. The freshmen classes had bored him with their irritating simplicity, and he was subsequently moved ahead of his classmates – his teachers had admitted that he was grasping the skills that were expected to be learned by a first-year student with unprecedented speed, and soon the rumours of an odd-haired genius was spreading throughout the Academy like a wildfire. The whispers, which seemed to accompany him wherever he went, were as tiring as they were irritating. As a response to all of the unwanted attention, he had distanced himself from the others and so – if unknowingly – managing to shroud himself in even more mystery, which in turn fuelled the rumour mills even further.

But then he had met Captain Ukitake, and his life had been subjected to the first of many twists and turns. He remembered that their first meeting had taken place in the shade of an old oak tree on one of the hills overlooking the Academy's outdoor training grounds. He had liked that spot, and it had been where he spent most of his free time and some of his lessons, too. In the shade of the giant tree, no one disturbed him and he would often sit there simply staring into space, lost in his thoughts, or watching the older students train.

"Don't you have a class to attend?" A mildly mocking voice had suddenly broken through to his subconscious, hauling him back into reality. He had, indeed, been supposed to be in class – attending a kidou lecture to be exact, but which he had decided to skip in favour of some fresh air. He hadn't found kidou particularly interesting in the first place, especially since the course itself hadn't posed much of a challenge; aiming at some target was boring.

_Who...? No, it couldn't be..._

"Eh? Captain Ukitake! Sir!" Somewhere in his befuddled mind, he had recognized the voice of the commander of the 13th Division from one of his earlier visits to the Academy, and finally remembering his manners, he had jumped to his feet in order to offer the proper respects to the Captain. When he quickly glanced to his right, noticing the contrast of pristine white against dark brown, his suspicions were confirmed. The shinigami Captain had been standing with his back comfortably against the opposite side of the thick tree trunk, his eyes half closed. Hitsugaya remembered fervently wondering why one of the most powerful shinigami Captains up in Seireitei suddenly had materialized under the oak tree next to him... especially on the day he was skipping class.

"You must be the prodigy. One of your classmates said that I would find you here," Captain Ukitake had interrupted unceremoniously, eyes still half closed, gesturing for him to relax and sit down again. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Hn." His reply had been but a mutter, but there was really nothing more to be said to a statement like that; while he had no doubts in his abilities and was rather proud of his talent, he harboured a firm dislike to all the unwanted attention. It made him feel as if he constantly had to prove himself, and to out-do his previous achievements.

"Forgive me, but your hair is rather unusual... has it always looked like that?"

He had signed inwardly – Captain Ukitake must have turned his head and thus noticed his black hair with its small patches of white. But it was beyond him why everyone seemed so intent on fussing over his hair.

"No. Has yours?" He could have clamped both hands over his mouth, but the words had already left his lips. He had been so used to the whispers and giggles about his hair colour that he had snapped at the Captain without even thinking.

But he needn't have worried. Captain Ukitake had merely smiled ruefully before carefully replying, "No, it changed when I first became ill."

"I apologize, sir." At that moment, everything had just felt overwhelmingly bizarre: he was talking to a Gotei 13 Squad Captain about _hair colours _of all things. But strangely enough, he had felt neither uncomfortable nor overly awed, despite being so up-close to a real _Captain_; rather, the whole situation had just felt strange, but not in any way unpleasant.

"No matter, it was many years ago." Captain Ukitake had waved off the apology with a smile before changing the subject. "So what do you think about the Academy?"

"It's a nice enough place." He had grown increasingly uncertain about the Captain's actual motives with the conversation, and had thus decided to offer his most diplomatic answer... just in case.

"And the classes?"

"Easy." It had not been a very modest answer, he knew. But it was the truth – the classes _were_ easy.

"Yes... you are currently studying at the level of a second-year, aren't you?"

The Gotei 13 Captain's many questions had started to annoy him – Captain or not, if he wanted something in particular, then he should just cut to the chase or at least have the decency to provide him some kind of explanation for his sudden appearance. "Forgive my curiosity, but why would a Captain be enquiring about an ordinary Academy student?"

"Talent doesn't pass us by." Captain Ukitake's voice had, for the first time, revealed a hint of annoyance.

"So they send a Captain?" He knew that he should have acted more respectfully than he had – his tone revealed just how ridiculous he found the notion that Captain Ukitake had taken time from whatever he was supposed to be doing, in order to visit a first-year shinigami student. It had simply seemed too incredulous to be true – surely Captains had more important things to do than wasting his time interviewing Academy students, regardless of how talented they may be.

"You may be a special case." Captain Ukitake had stared out over the field. "We haven't seen raw talent like yours since- It has been many years. Well, I need to return to Seireitei, but it was a pleasure to meet you...?"

The Captain had gracefully stood up, preparing to report back to the Head-Captain about his findings. So far, the student appeared to be a good bit on the cocky side, but perfectly harmless. Although the strength and volume of his spiritual pressure was impressive, there was no immediate need for preventive action; the Special Forces had done well to report him, but its involvement could now come to an end. In any case, Ukitake had never quite approved of the system of pre-emptive punishment, and was glad that this individual would be spared an eternity in the Maggot's Nest.

"My name is Hitsugaya Toushirou, Captain Ukitake."

_"...what?"_ The Captain's voice had suddenly assumed a sharper quality, and the 13th Division commander had abruptly turned around to for the first time look down on the still seated student inquiringly, and if only for a brief moment, he had looked both bewildered and confused.

"Hitsugaya Toushirou." Hitsugaya remembered feeling quite annoyed at having to repeat himself when it had been obvious that the Captain heard him the first time. "That's my name. I'm surprised that you didn't know that already, Captain – surely, you've read my file."

"Normally, we do not read the files of ordinary Academy students. But perhaps..." For a moment, the Captain had looked thoughtful, and his voice trailed off before he could complete the sentence.

"Sir?" He had felt a twinge of discomfort when the Captain seemed to drift off into a world of his own. Considering that he was one of oldest, and rumoured to also be one the most powerful, Captains in the Gotei 13, it was unsettling to see him so _distracted_. It simply wasn't _natural_ – Captains were Captains, after all.

"I have the distinct feeling that we'll meet again, Hitsugaya Toushirou. Good day."

Then, in a blur of black and white, the Captain had disappeared, leaving a confused Hitsugaya to wonder what the hell just happened.

--

Little did he know that Captain Ukitake would immediately report the events to the Head-Captain; little did he know that the identity of the potentially dangerous element, previously known only as Case EAA14509Z, would be the cause of four secret Captains' Meetings in the span of only one week; and little did he know that from that day onwards, he would be followed by at least two elite members of the Special Forces, his every movement scrutinized, recorded, and analyzed. How could he have known that his brief meeting with Captain Ukitake had set in motion events beyond his wildest imagination?

Of course, at the time, he couldn't have, nor could he ever have even guessed that they would indeed meet again, just as Captain Ukitake had predicted, and that their second meeting would follow surprisingly soon after their first.

"Hitsugaya Toushirou." The white-haired Captain had approached him at the end of an ordinary day, as he had slowly been making his way back to his dormitory.

"Captain?" He had just stared at the unexpected visitor with unmasked bafflement. "Wha-"

"I'm here with a proposition for you." The Captain had interrupted with an unusual degree of solemnity, and Hitsugaya remembered that a distinct feeling of foreboding had originated from his stomach and spread throughout his body.

"Sir?"

"I wish to take you on as my private student. If you agree, I would oversee all of the stages of your training myself, and naturally, you would be released from all classes here at the Academy. However, due to the responsibilities I hold toward my squad, you would find yourself training on your own for long periods of time. This is, of course, regrettable but it cannot be helped, I'm afraid."

At first, Hitsugaya hadn't been sure if Captain Ukitake really had said what he thought that he had said; and he had completely forgotten about his manners as he simply blurted, "_You_ would train _me_?! A _Captain_-

"That is correct."

"I can't believe..." This offer had just seemed too good to be true – a _Captain_ would take responsibility of his _entire_ shinigami training? That was completely unheard of, and he couldn't help but feeling a little bit suspicious of Captain Ukitake's motives. "Before I accept, or decline, I have a question. Wh-"

"You're wondering why I would concern myself with you, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"As I told you before, the Gotei 13 does not let talent pass by unnoticed."

"I see..." He had quickly calculated the risks and benefits of such an unusual arrangement, and his findings had been as blindingly obvious as they had been conclusive: only a fool would allow such an incredible opportunity to slip through his fingers. "Then I would be honoured to accept."

"Very well. I shall inform the Academy of your decision."

--

He had been released from the Academy that very afternoon, and Captain Ukitake had taken him to that which at a first glance looked like nothing more than an ordinary cave. But before he had a chance to ask the Captain about the curious choice of location for his upcoming training, the white-haired shinigami had motioned for him to enter. The inside of the cave had been much larger than he expected and seemingly well-equipped enough to accommodate for even long periods of training. However, the most surprising thing of all had been the narrow flight of stairs that had seemed to lead straight down into the depths of the earth. At Captain Ukitake's request, he had followed the long, dark descent, and the sight that met him at the end had rendered him speechless.

He had never seen anything like it.

It was only later that he would understand that it was the very same underground training facility to which the exiled Shihouin Yoruichi had taken Kurosaki Ichigo when he had launched his notorious invasion of Soul Society in order to stop Kuchiki Rukia's execution. The vast subterranean training ground, which once had been planned and built by Soul Society's most infamous scientist and which had housed an equally famous exile _and_ a ryoka, had been chosen as the location for the training a Captain, the pillar of law and order... Once he remembered, the irony had not been lost on him.

"Before we begin with your training, Toushirou..."

"Please, I would prefer to be called Hitsugaya, Captain Ukitake... err... sensei?"

"Ah, no, plain Ukitake is just fine. But as I about to say, before we begin, let me tell you a story."

"A _story_?"

"Oh, don't make that face, Toushirou! It's not becoming of a C- It's not becoming of a shinigami."

"My apologies, Captain. I'm certain that the story will be most... _relevant_ to my training."

"It is... perhaps more than you would know."

"So what is it about?"

"It's about a shinigami that I knew a long time ago."

"Hn, then he must have been very special for you to still talk about him."

"Special... That is actually quite an accurate word to describe him. This shinigami was unlike any other I have ever known – he joined the Gotei 13 at an age where a mere application to the Academy normally would have been automatically rejected. He was considered to be a genius – the prodigy of his generation – but while he was exceptionally gifted, he was much more than just raw talent, which just anyone could possess."

"Oh? So what made him so special?"

"If I had to name two things, I would say that they had to be his determination and his heart. These are qualities that lie beyond talent and beyond the instructions that can be found in books or taught by others – things that cannot be learned, only discovered within oneself. It was his determination and his heart that truly elevated him above his peers, and which finally made him a Captain. They are the reasons why we still remember, and why _I_ still remember."

"A Captain, you say. Which-"

"Squad 10. He was once the Captain of the 10th Division."

"What killed him?"

"What makes you say that?" Captain Ukitake had raised an eyebrow questioningly, while his eyes had scrutinized the shorter man in front of him critically.

"You have been speaking in past tense, Captain, so I can only assume that it is because he's dead or otherwise absent."

"Ah, yes," Captain Ukitake had smiled and even relaxed a little. _Sharp as ever, Shiro-chan. _"He met his end many years ago."

"Was it an honourable death?"

"How much do you know about our history?" the Captain suddenly asked, and Hitsugaya remembered feeling rather confused about the sudden change of topic.

"I never took any of the history classes at the Academy, if that's what you're asking," he had answered cautiously. "I didn't stay long enough for that."

"I see." Captain Ukitake had nodded. "Well, to answer your question, yes, it was an honourable death. The Captain died in order to defend Soul Society, and his friends... What's the matter, Hitsugaya? You look thoughtful."

"I was just thinking. Firework... we're all like firework pieces, aren't we? For one split second, we light up the sky with our presences, only to then disappear into darkness forever. When the time comes... I don't want to fade into nothingness like a spent firework – I want to continue to shine, if only in the memories of others, just like that Captain shines in yours." Only then had he realized that he had been voicing his inner thoughts out loud, and Hitsugaya had immediately straightened and added a gruff, "Anyway, when does training start?"

But Ukitake Juushirou had merely smiled ruefully in response to the former Captain's unprecedented comment.

--

"What the hell!" He had run his hands through his hair for the umpteenth time in an attempt to vent his growing frustration with himself, all while glaring daggers at the slender katana resting on the uneven ground at his feet. "I just don't _understand_! I've been training and preparing for months, so I should be able to manifest my zanpakutou by now!"

"You have told me that something is hindering you from summoning the spirit of that zanpakutou. That's a curious phenomenon and very unusual for someone of your abilities." Captain Ukitake had looked up from his teacup with a bemused smile on his face. Hitsugaya still remembered how he had consciously willed his left eyebrow not to twitch in annoyance out of respect for the Captain. But it had been difficult not to – for some unknown reason, that particular smile had irked him to no end... perhaps it was because it looked so damn peaceful? Hitsugaya hadn't known back then, and still didn't know now, but it didn't change the fact that he found it extremely agitating. "You'd be interested to know that I took some time to research the matter, and I believe that I'm starting to see why you are having difficulties. But first, would you like some tea? Even without a manifestation, your zanjutsu is developing very well, and you deserve some rest."

"Hn." He had walked over to the low table, unceremoniously plonking down across from the already seated shinigami, and gratefully accepting the steaming teacup from the Captain's hands. "So, tell me about your findings, Captain. I'd be _fascinated_ to know."

"There is no need for sarcasm, Toushirou." Captain Ukitake had playfully wagged a finger in front of his scowling protégé's nose, waiting for the young man's usual indignant response. It was as amusing every time, and Hitsugaya _never_ failed to deliver. He just had to give the young prodigy a few seconds to react... and _there_ it was: the characteristic, predictable first twitch, which was closely followed by the second series of facial contractions. Now it wouldn't be very long before...

_3... 2... 1..._

"Captain Ukitake, _please_, it's **Hitsugaya**!"

"I apologize, Toushirou. I always seem to forget." Captain Ukitake had merely met the usual frown with a small smile, which hardly suggested any thoughts of remorse. "Well, I believe that something, some kind of disturbance, prevents your spirit energy from resonating in time with your current zanpakutou."

"Did you just say _current_ zanpakutou?" He had frowned at the curious choice of wording, and he had looked at the Captain Ukitake questioningly. "What do you mean by that?"

"To tell you the truth, I am not entirely sure myself. But it wouldn't be impossible to find out."

"Go on..."

"I have a couple of... _friends_, who are prepared to offer you their time and expertise. But a word of caution, this would entail a number of lengthy tests and-"

"Forgive me, Captain, but just who are those _friends_, exactly?" He hadn't liked the way that Captain Ukitake involuntarily paused before the word 'friends'. It had sounded rather... ominous and hardly a good sign of things to come.

"Well, in all honesty, they're more like colleagues. But although they are both extremely busy shinigami, they are prepared to offer us their full assistance. Now, the question is, will you accept that help?"

"Why not," he had shrugged. "I have nothing to lose."

"That would be correct." The smile on Captain Ukitake's lips had suddenly vanished and was replaced by a thin, unyielding line. "You, Hitsugaya, have _all_ to gain."

* * *

And so the journey to the past continues... Hitsugaya is sitting in his old office, reflecting on being found by first Chinatsu, then Hyourinmaru, and at last Captain Ukitake. I know that I'm making a lot of fuss about everyone's past, but the past sometimes helps to explain the present, right?

I hope that you liked the chapter!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	21. Once More, Time Stands Still

_Author's Note__: Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for not having updated in a while, but I think that the sheer length of this baby monster says it all. It's the longest chapter I've ever written, but I sincerely hope that I haven't unintentionally sacrificed quality for quantity! Also, I hope that you're not put off by the excessive wordiness of this piece – it's a much quicker read than it looks. Honest._

_Before continuing, I should probably also tell you that at one point in the chapter (trust me, you'll know it when you see it), __**thoughts/internal feelings**__ will be distinguished from __**"conversation/speech"**__ by quotation marks as shown._

_Please enjoy!_

_--_

**Chapter 21: Once More, Time Stands Still/The Awakening**

"Captain Ukitake... you're here." He had been careful to sound appropriately disinterested, but since the conclusion of their experiments, there had been no word, not even the slightest indication of what the respective Captain had discovered – indeed, if Captain Unohana and Captain Kurotsuchi had discovered anything significant had remained unknown, since Captain Ukitake had remained conspicuously absent – and Hitsugaya had not appreciated being so blatantly kept in the dark. "Would that...?"

"Yes," the Captain had nodded solemnly. Unbeknownst to the anxious young man, and after weeks of additional meetings and discussions, he had finally having received Head-Captain Yamamoto's permission to reunite the shinigami who _could_ very well be a former Gotei 13 Captain, with his zanpakutou. "Both Captains finally finished analyzing the results of their respective tests yesterday."

"And...?" He had inquired impatiently when the Captain quieted without giving any indication of intending on further elaborating on his own accord. Hitsugaya remembered feeling rather indignant and very, very irritated – he had _not_ endured Captain Unohana's lengthy and thorough examinations **and** Captain Kurotsuchi's equally lengthy and thorough, if just somewhat bloodthirsty and overall peculiar tests for Captain Ukitake to hold out on him in such a... _frustrating_ manner. "Captain?" he had prompted, this time a little louder.

"Well, while the tests show that there is nothing much wrong with you, Captain Unohana and Captain Kurotsuchi independently reached the conclusion that another zanpakutou may prove beneficial in your case." Captain Ukitake had paused to observe the other white-haired man thoughtfully; the seemingly eternal frown on his forehead had deepened as he quietly contemplated that which had been said. If the Captain hadn't known his student better, he might have interpreted the resulting silence as a sign of shock.

"Forgive me," Hitsugaya had finally overcome his initial speechlessness, "but what do you mean by _another_ zanpakutou? I haven't been able to manifest anything yet, so there should be no difference-"

"Here." Feeling rather relieved that the younger shinigami's reaction to the news had proved well within the range of that which could be expected of him, Captain Ukitake had unceremoniously interrupted his charge by pushing a carefully wrapped zanpakutou towards him. "This is for you."

Thus, Hitsugaya had suddenly found himself holding an unfamiliar katana and he remembered staring at its deep blue cloth stupidly, ashamed to admit that the Captain's actions had left him completely dumbfounded. "Captain Ukitake? Is this really- I mean, why do-"

"That is irrelevant, Hitsugaya." At the sound of his name, Hitsugaya had looked up from his hands, noting with some amusement that the squad commander for once hadn't neglected to address him properly. But that sense of satisfaction had been pierced by the inescapable authority in his voice, which had effectively informed him that the Squad Captain would not tolerate to be questioned. "Please use this from now on... unless you plan on continuing to practise with that asauchi over there."

"Thank you, Captain," he had muttered while still wondering _what_ exactly he had to be thankful for.

Captain Ukitake had nodded twice in acknowledgement before he quietly floated out of the cave, presumably to return to his squad. Once the Captain and teacher had disappeared from view, Hitsugaya had examined his 'new' zanpakutou critically, carefully examining its length, weight, and width before sighing to himself.

_Well, it wouldn't hurt to try now, would it?_

--

He had been in the middle of one of his many zanjutsu practise sessions when he suddenly found himself surrounded by ice and snow. The strange, barren landscape, which replaced the solid stone walls that usually surrounded him from all sides, had seemed disturbingly familiar, and as he looked around him, Hitsugaya had concluded that he indeed had seen it before.

Although the recognition had been dull like a forgotten memory, he had felt as if he not only had seen it before, but that he _knew_ it – something deep inside of him had grasped not only its physical shape and form, but its entirety and its _essence_. The landscape had even borne some resemblance to the dark, glossy plains from his dreams, and yet it was very, very different; whereas his dreams had been dark with black rocks and shadowy earth, this mysterious world have seemed to contain only white snow and glistening ice.

He had wandered aimlessly, instinctively clutching his zanpakutou tightly in his right hand. Although he had no destination and no reason for his wanderings, Hitsugaya had been overcome with a mysterious urge to walk. Towards what he had not known, only that something prevented him from doing otherwise – without quite understanding why, he had sworn to himself that he wouldn't give up before he reached it... whatever it was.

But the silent plains had stretched into infinity in all directions around him, and he had finally been forced to stop to catch his breath and his bearings.

And that was when he heard it.

"_Toushirou..."_

It had been very faint at first, barely even a whisper, but there had been a voice calling out to him... and it had been a voice that belonged to someone he could not see, but who nevertheless was very important for reasons he couldn't discern.

The voice had progressively sounded stronger, _closer_, and Hitsugaya had spun around, desperately trying to discover its origins. But his search had been in vain; the plains around him lay empty and abandoned, save for the wind and the snow that had been swirling around him. However, there was _something_ in that voice that reminded him of something... something familiar. Only, he could not quite understand what. Or why.

"_Toushirou...?" _the white plains and the pale blue sky had seemed to be asking. _"Master..."_

"Who are you?" he had shouted into the arctic wind and its gracefully dancing snowflakes. "Why are you calling me? _Why am I here?_"

"_Toushirou." _The voice had been partially drowned in the howling wind that seemed to have intensified. _"I... waiting... come..."_

"I can't hear you! Where are you?"

"_Ask..." _The voice had slowly ebbed away, disappearing into the wind. _"Ask for me... Ask..."_

"Ask? But I don't-" The slender zanpakutou had finally sliced the air impatiently. "I _demand_ that you show yourself, whoever you are!"

At his command, the wind had immediately silenced and was replaced by an eerie silence, the snowflakes had appeared frozen mid-dance, and somewhere in the far distance, he had heard a soft rumble.

Then, suddenly the very ground underneath his feet had trembled and _it_ had appeared, floating gracefully in the air in front of him and observing him in complete silence.

Hitsugaya had only narrowly resisted the urge to rub his eyes in surprise, but materializing before him had been no other than the black dragon from his dreams. Although, this time, the majestic creature had shed its dark form in favour of clear, pristine ice.

"You..." He had said slowly, his gaze fastened on the dragon. "_You_ are the spirit of this zanpakutou."

"Correct," the ice-dragon's had whispered, and Hitsugaya had silently wondered whether the deep rumble had reverberated only inside his head or also over the frozen plains around them. "You have entered my domain, the part of you that is I. This is my true form."

"Your domain...?"

"Here I rest until my wielder calls upon me for battle."

"Wielder? But if you are this zanpakutou's spirit, then-"

"You have kept me waiting."

"Waiting?"

"Yes, I have been waiting for you. I searched, sensing your presence far away, but when you could not hear me, I stopped calling. I trusted that you would find me when the time came. And now you are here."

"Tell me who you are, how you know who I am!"

"Like all of my kind, I am a companion and a guardian."

"What is your name?"

"You have not yet made yourself deserving to know my name. If you hope to command me, you must prove yourself, _boy_. Prove that you believe in what I am. Prove that you trust me with your life, you mind, and your soul. Prove that you do not doubt in our strength. Prove that you are truly worthy of calling yourself my master."

"Then you must tell me, dragon! How do I prove that I'm worthy?"

"In time, you will know what to do."

When the dragon finally quieted, layers of solid ice had shattered beneath his feet, giving him the impression he was falling through space and time. Then, as quickly as he had been drawn in, he had been repelled from the ice world, returning to the familiarity of the underground training hall.

Once he had returned, Hitsugaya had blinked uncertainly at the rocks around him, attempting to make sense of what he just had experienced. Although he had yet to achieve a true manifestation, he had finally managed to communicate directly with his zanpakutou's spirit... so much had been certain. But it was beyond belief, logic, and bewilderment even, that he had found his soul to be the true form of the black dragon from his dreams... It had appeared highly unlikely that it would be a mere coincidence, but Hitsugaya had not dared to speculate any further. Indeed, the situation and the events leading up to their meeting had undoubtedly been very strange, but he had been reluctant to question something that had felt so... _natural_.

In any case, he had finally met it, the physical form of his soul.

--

At the end of a particularly gruelling kidou practise, Hitsugaya had found Captain Ukitake sitting at his normal place by the low table, contently sipping a cup of steaming tea. "So how are you finding your new zanpakutou?"

"I'm still adapting, Captain," Hitsugaya had answered guardedly. Although he knew that as his teacher and mentor, the 13th Division Captain was entitled to a more detailed report of his recent progress, he had been reluctant to supply the Captain with such. After all, he had yet to establish a permanent communication channel with the ice-dragon, and Hitsugaya wanted to ensure its complete success before informing Captain Ukitake of his accomplishments; his occasional meetings with the spirit of his zanpakutou had still only been sporadic, and they seemed to occur entirely according to the dragon's wishes rather than his own. "But I have no complaints."

"Good." To Hitsugaya's great relief, the Captain had only smiled as usual before returning his attention to the contents of his cup. "I have already given you your exercises for this week, but if you need any additional assistance, I would be glad to help."

"...actually, Captain, there is one thing," Hitsugaya had started hesitantly, regretting with each syllable as he spoke them.

"Yes, Toushirou?" But to his immense disappointment, Hitsugaya hadn't fallen for the bait as usual and had instead opted to ignore the intentional use of his given name; it had been obvious that something serious must have happened in his absence for the self-assured young man to act so uncharacteristically.

"Uh, the zanpakutou, it... eh, it..." Hitsugaya had been all but squirming with uneasiness before he had rallied all of his will-power and self-control, finally managing to pull himself together. "Its length is somewhat of a bother."

"Ah." A look of understanding had briefly crossed the older man's features. "I see."

Two days later, the Captain had returned with a long piece of cloth.

"You can use this to carry your zanpakutou. I had something similar for mine in my youth."

Hitsugaya had examined the cloth carefully. "The length is near perfect."

"Oh, it's just something old I had saved." The Captain had concealed a low chuckle at the sight of the white-haired man and the sash with a convenient cough. "What do you think of the colour? It's a little faded, but is it tolerable?"

"The colour is fine." Hitsugaya had honestly not cared much of its appearance as long as he wasn't forced to carry his zanpakutou in his hands, or having to suffer the humiliation of it touching the ground. It was utterly infuriating that he wasn't able to wear his own zanpakutou at his side as was customary – he didn't think that he shorter than average by all that much, but his zanpakutou was quite long and a few crucial inches still eluded him. "But I suppose that I've always been partial to green." Hitsugaya had effortlessly wrapped the sash around the zanpakutou, thrown it over his shoulder and lastly adjusting it over his chest before the tying the ends together in a neat knot. "Thank you, Captain."

--

"Even as you're here in front of me, I feel as if I can't reach you. I have asked you before, but why is that, dragon?"

"As long as you refuse me, I cannot be wielded."

"...refuse?" he had repeated, a frown settling on his face.

"Your soul does not fully accept me. That is why you cannot call upon me."

"My soul?" Hitsugaya had stared at the dragon in disbelief. "But that's not possible... you _are_ my soul. How could I be refusing myself?"

"While it is true that I cannot exist without you, our connection is not yet complete. There is still a barrier that separates us."

"How do I break that barrier?" Hitsugaya had hardly dared to hope for an answer. Usually, the dragon expelled him from his arctic world before answering any of his many questions.

"Do you believe that I would not harm you?"

"Yes."

"Then the time has come for you to decide if you are willing to endure the pain."

"Pain?"

"There are some doors that are not meant to be unlocked and some things are not meant to be a second time... But if it is your will, then I shall show you: I shall show you who you are and who you were, Hitsugaya Toushirou. But I cannot, unless you accept me with your entire soul. Is this your will?"

"If that is what it takes to finally reach you, then yes it is."

The dragon's ruby eyes had drilled themselves into his emerald, seemingly searching the depth of his essence, and for a moment, Hitsugaya had been filled with a well-known sense of dread. The dragon would sometimes do that – challenging the shinigami to look back into the void behind his hard, unflinching eyes – and each time, Hitsugaya would be forced to yield to the sharp, burning pain that would pulse through his body.

But something had felt unexplainably _different_ that time, and unlike their other clashes of wills, Hitsugaya had not diverted his gaze. Instead, when the ice-dragon melted into his consciousness, he had defiantly stared back into the deep, merciless abyss.

_Red_, he remembered thinking to himself, _so very red_.

_Red_... It was the colour of the setting sun, of spilt blood, and of raging fire. But no red he had ever seen was comparable to the colour of the dragon's crimson eyes.

First there was red. And then there was pain.

His whole being seemed to be aching, and an unexplainable hurt had washed over him in waves.

"Cast off your uncertainty and your doubts." A deep voice had echoed inside his head, cold and unforgiving. "Leave nothing behind."

_Dragon, I can't think... I can't breathe... I can't exist... But I will endure your test! If this pain means that I can finally reach you, then I will endure! I will not turn back _– _this time I'm not going to fail! Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME!_

Then, almost as suddenly as he had been overcome, there was no more red, no more pain... no more anything, only a crushing, engulfing whiteness.

_White_.

An eternity passed as he drifted in white. All he could see, hear, touch, taste, and smell had been that absolute and devastatingly overwhelming whiteness... until he had heard a distorted voice's eerie, distant call. It had carried with it the faint sensations of the rustling of paper, distant laughter, exhaustion, ink, warmth, and sweat. He would always remember those odd mixtures of immediate impressions, just as he would always remember the voices and broken images that would pass through his mind. Those pitiful pieces were all that he had left of his other life; the one he had once lived first in Junrinan and then in Seireirei; the one he had lived before Aizen had shattered his peaceful existence.

Since most of his so-called 'memories' were borrowed from the vast collections of others, he treasured the fragments that he knew were his own. But, that said, Hitsugaya had never regarded himself as sentimental or anything... He simply wasn't the type.

But that hadn't stopped the blurry images or the far-away voices from entering his consciousness, one by one...

"_**Shiro? Shiro-chan, where- Oh, there you are. I'll be going now, but I'll see you later!"**_

"_**Oi, I've told you not to call me Shiro-chan! And stop with the patting already! It's weird... and it's messing up my hair!"**_

"_**I won't, at least not until you go to the same school as me!"**_

"_**Eh, whatever... Why would I want to go to the same lame school as you?"**_

"_**Mou! Don't be so mean, Shiro-chan! Anyway, I'll be staying at the girls' dorm from now on, but I'll come back to visit soon, I promise!"**_

"_**Heh, like I'd care where you are. But thanks for the warning! Don't hurry back, you bed-wetter!"**_

_--_

"_**Hey! Dropping the change on the counter like that... Is that any way to treat your customers, huh?!"**_

"_**Look here, shinigami-lady, I'm just doing my job, so do me a favour and go back to Seireitei, will ya?"**_

"_**You really are rude, aren't you?! And not only that, you think that you can get away with it just because he's a kid!"**_

"_**Lady, if you ain't buying nothing then-"**_

"_**And YOU! You shouldn't just lie there, crying about it! If you're a man, then act like one!"**_

"_**But- But **_**you're **_**the one who knocked me down in the first place! And I wasn't crying or anything, so let me go!"**_

"_**Hey, kid-"**_

"_**Get off already!"**_

"_**Huh?"**_

"_**I said, **_**get off!**_**"**_

"_**What- Hey, kid! Wait a second! Oi! Wait!"**_

_**--**_

"_**Why are you calling me? Who are you?!"**_

"_**Listen... Toushirou, listen! I am... I am..."**_

"_**I'm trying, but I can't hear you!"**_

_**--**_

"_**Geddof, Bed-wetter, it's too early... Leave me alone already! Come on, five more minutes... just five more-"**_

"_**Mornin', short-stuff. I don't know about this 'Bed-wetter' person, but are you always this difficult to wake up? You sleep like a rock, ya'know."**_

"_**Huh...? What- Why, it's- From the market- Where the- What are YOU doing here?!"**_

"_**It wasn't all that difficult, following you trail. You know, your spirit energy is out of control... Stop leaking it everywhere!"**_

"_**Spirit energy? What are you talking about? And... you still haven't answered my question!"**_

"_**Your grandmother looks pretty cold."**_

"_**Uh, Granny...?"**_

"_**You know, kid, with all that power of yours, you could become a shinigami."**_

"_**What are-"**_

"_**Yeah... you've got some power alright, but you don't have any control over it and that makes you very dangerous. You know, if you stay like this, you might even end up killing that grandmother of yours."**_

"_**...killing?! What are you say-"**_

"_**There's a voice, right? Calling out to you from somewhere far away and you keep on hearing it. But you don't know where it's coming from."**_

"_**I... I don't know what you're talki-"**_

"_**Save your breath, kid. I heard one too, so I know what I'm talking about. Now listen carefully, because I won't tell you twice. That voice... You won't know how to control your powers until you properly understand it."**_

"_**But that-"**_

"_**Yeah... it means that you'd have to become a shinigami."**_

_**--**_

"_**...and that's why I should go, Granny."**_

"_**Oh, the Shinigami Academy? But that's wonderful, Toushirou!"**_

"_**It is? But I thought-"**_

"_**You're such a kind child, staying here, holding yourself back so that I wouldn't be all alone. I think that as your grandmother, knowing that you've done all that for my sake... that is the hardest thing of all."**_

"_**I won't be gone for long."**_

"_**I know, but in the meantime, I'll make sure to send you some of your favourite foods every week, just like I did for dear Momo."**_

"_**...natto. Perhaps you could sometimes send me natto."**_

"_**Of course."**_

_**--**_

"_**Class dismissed! Not you, Hitsugaya. You're staying behind."**_

"_**You wanted to speak with me, sir?"**_

"_**I've decided to move you ahead with the second-year students, since there is no use for you to continue at this level. That is all. You may leave."**_

"_**Thank you."**_

_**--**_

"_**And why would the likes of I serve the will of a mere boy?"**_

"_**Because I'll defeat you one day, dragon, and then you will obey me."**_

_**--**_

"_**There he is! Over there!"**_

"_**Where? **_**Where?**_** I can't see him."**_

"_**No, not over there, you idiot... Look! He's the guy sitting on his own under that tree."**_

"_**You mean the small one with the white, spiky hair?"**_

"_**Yeah, that's him alright. That's Hitsugaya."**_

"_**Ehhh? Are you sure that he's really a student here? I mean, he's wearing a uniform and everything, but he looks really young to me."**_

"_**Yeah, you're right. He shouldn't even have been old enough to apply, let alone being **_**accepted,**_** but apparently he's real special. According to the rumours, he had the top score at the entrance exam. And it was his first time too..."**_

"_**Yeah, I heard about that a few weeks back. I also heard that although he's a just first-year, he's already studying with the third-year students... He's definitely a genius."**_

"_**Are you serious?! The shrimp is at a **_**third-year**_** level? That's not genius, my friends, that's just plain ridiculous... Wait... Oi, you're lying, aren't you?!"**_

"_**No, it is true, I swear! He's in the same zanjutsu class as my younger sister, who's a third-year, and according to her, he's even one of the best in their class. The first time he showed up after being accelerated, he was challenged by one of the older boys and he **_**won**_**. Rumour has it that they had to send the guy to the hospital wing afterwards... It's hard to imagine, though, considering that he's so short."**_

"_**Woah... That's just **_**crazy**_**, dude!"**_

"_**Yeah, but it doesn't seem like anyone really knows anything about him other than that he's some kind of prodigy, and that even the high-ups in Seireitei are keeping an eye on him. He's pretty cold and doesn't talk much."**_

"_**Hm. I heard that his roommate switched out after only a week, and apparently he still won't talk about it... I wonder what Hitsugaya did to the guy."**_

"_**Yeah, I heard that rumour too. Maybe he's...**_

_**--**_

"_**You fought well."**_

"_**Now tell me your name... You promised."**_

"_**And a dragon is always true to his word. I am Hyourinmaru."**_

"_**Ice ring... no, the frozen full moon. That is a beautiful name."**_

"_**Of course, little master, what did you expect?"**_

_**--**_

"_**... and on those recommendations, I summoned him to the 1st Division. Yesterday, I, Yamamoto Genryuusai, along with three other Captains examined the qualities of the candidate, and we have concluded that his abilities and personality are acceptable. Therefore, Hitsugaya Toushirou, who stands before us, is now the new Captain of the 10th Division."**_

_**--**_

"**Shiro-chan?**_** What are **_**you**_** doing here? And what- **_**Why are you wearing a haori?!**_** Only Captains are allowed to wear those, you know that! So hurry up and take it off before someone sees and reports you! And where in the world did you manage to find a spare, anyway?!"**_

"_**We haven't properly seen each other for years and this is how you greet me? You really should work on your manners, you know. And you never seem to learn – how many times have I told you not to call me Shiro-chan! **_**Besides... this haori is **_**mine**_**.**_**"**_

"_**But... but that has the 10th Division's insignia on it... But Squad 10 has been without a Captain since-"**_

"_**Yeah, I know, because I'm the new one. **_**Oh, come on!**_** Don't look so shocked, stupid – that face isn't becoming of a Seat! Besides, I'm supposed to be a genius, right? Well, there you go."**_

"**You're**_** the prodigy everyone has been talking about??"**_

"_**Yeah, who did you think?"**_

"_**But...but that means that you- **_**You have got to be kidding me! ****You're**_** the new Captain of Squad 10, Shiro-chan?! You know your **_**bankai**_**?! You took the Captain Proficiency Test **_**already**_**?!"**_

"_**Eh-"**_

"**Why didn't you tell me?! You-"**

"_**Hinamori!"**_

"_**...yeah?"**_

"_**First of all, it's Captain Hitsugaya, **_**not**_** Shiro-chan! And secondly, don't start crying about it! The reason why I didn't tell you was that I wanted it to be a surprise, alright?"**_

"_**But- but-"**_

"_**Cat got your tongue, Bed-wetter?"**_

"_**You know that I don't wet the bed, so stop it already! I... I just can't believe that you're the leader of your own squad now, Shiro-chan! It's just so-"**_

"_**Hinamori, it's **_**Captain Hitsugaya!**_** C-A-P-T-A-I-N! **_**Captain! **_**And don't you forget it!"**_

"_**I know, but you'll always be Shiro-chan to me, Shiro-chan. It doesn't matter if you go on to become Commander-General... even then, that won't ever change!"**_

_**--**_

"_**Welcome to Squad 10, sir."**_

"_**You must be the lieu- **_**Huh?! **_**But... it's- it's **_**you!**_**"**_

"_**What- Wait a minute, aren't you're the... Ah, so **_**you're**_** the new-fresh-from-the-Academy kid genius Captain! Oh my, you've really come a long way from freezing grandmothers, shorty."**_

"**Why you**_**-"**_

"_**The name's Matsumoto Rangiku. It'll be a pleasure to work with you... shorty-sir."**_

_**--**_

"_**What happened here? There's paperwork all over the place and what are you doing on the floor?"**_

"_**Shiro-chan? Don't sneak up on me like that..."**_

"_**It's Capt- Hey, why- You're crying! **_**Who did this?!**_**"**_

"_**It's nothing... really, I'm fine."**_

"_**Stop lying, stupid, anyone can see that you're not. When I find the bastard who's responsible for this mess, I swear that I'll-"**_

"_**I told you that I'm fine. Someone was in a hurry and bumped into me, that's all. And don't go around using those words. It's not very nice."**_

"_**You're too stupid for your own good, sometimes – can't you hear yourself? You're basically siding with the person who made you cry!"**_

"_**There's nothing wrong with being nice to people."**_

"_**Yes, there is, if you're not getting any kindness back. Come on, let me help you up. Where were you headed anyway?"**_

"_**Um, to Squad 4 with some papers for the 5th Division's medical files."**_

"_**Ah, I see. Well, in that case I'll come with you so you don't get into any more trouble. Here let me take those... This is too much for a girl to carry, anyway – what was Aizen thinking when he sent you off with all these?"**_

"_**You should address him as **_**Captain**_** Aizen, Shiro-chan."**_

"_**Is he, now? So what does that make **_**me**_** then?"**_

"_**You're different."**_

"**Different**_**, huh."**_

"_**Eh... Well, you see, the thing is... my Captain doesn't know. He said that he was going to send Tanaka and some others with them later, but since Captain Unohana personally requested that they would be brought to her as soon as possible, I thought that I would...umm... I didn't want to trouble the Captain, so... Well..."**_

"_**You're too much, you know that?"**_

"_**Don't be so mean, Shiro-chan."**_

"_**It's not Shiro-chan! It's Captain Hitsugaya and- What is it now?"**_

"_**Nothing, it's just... your left eyebrow twitches when you get mad. I never noticed that before."**_

"**Hina**_**- Never mind... Come on, we don't want to keep Captain Unohana waiting. Besides, if you don't get back to the 5th Division office soon, your Captain will start wondering where you are."**_

"_**Thank you for your help... and I'm sorry if I made you angry. I didn't mean an-"**_

"_**Don't worry about it. Come on, let's go. I don't have all day, you know."**_

_**--**_

"_**What have we got here? A couple of shinigami brats..."**_

"_**Oi, take a look at that one's hair... It's friggin' white!"**_

"_**What a freak! He's got scary eyes, too."**_

"_**And it looks like he's wearing a haori!"**_

"_**Haori? What's that?"**_

"_**It's what the big fish wear up in Seireitei, you dumbass."**_

"_**Oooh, his daddy must be one of those Captain-guys, eh?"**_

"_**Yeah, this one's just a lil' kid. No way that **_**he**_** could be a real Captain."**_

"_**What**_** did you just call me, you overgrown buffoon?"**

"_**Hah! We've got ourselves a talker, lads... Acting all tough, are we? But remember, you're a long way from home, kid."**_

"_**The girl's kinda pretty, though."**_

"_**A bit young, I suppose... but that doesn't really matter." **_

"_**I know how you like yours tender, eh?"**_

"_**Shut up. So... would you like to play with us, little girl?"**_

"**Leave her out of this."**

"_**Come here, sweetheart, we won't hurt yo-"**_

"**Take one more step, you bastard... if you value your puny life, that is."**

"_**But Shiro-"**_

"**Stand back, and let me handle this."**

"_**You've got some balls, kid, I'll give you that."**_

"_**But whatcha gonna do, freak? Call for daddy?"**_

"_**Well, he ain't gonna save ya now."**_

"_**Don't worry, sweetheart, once we've taught your little friend here a lesson, we'll have some fu-"**_

"**If you as much as touch her, I will do more than just kill you."**

"_**You talk big, kid-"**_

"**Which one of you worthless specks of scum is first?"**

"_**W-w-what the hell?! Look! He's... he's... fucking glowing!"**_

"**I said**_** who's first?"**_

_**--**_

"**_You're late."_**

"_**Lots of paperwork today, Captain?"**_

"_**The usual. Your share is over there on the- Oi, where do you think you're going?"**_

"_**Uh... bathroom break? I'll be right back."**_

"_**But you just- MATSUMOTO, GET BACK HERE! **_**MATSUMOTO!!!**_**"**_

_**--**_

_**Ryoka? In the Seireitei? **_**Impossible**_**.**_

_**And Ichimaru... he let them live.**_

**_That smile... it doesn't ever change._**

**What is he planning?**

_**--**_

"_**Saved by the emergency alert. That's rather convenient for you... isn't it."**_

"_**I don't know what you're trying to say, Captain Aizen."**_

"_**You don't really believe that you'll get away with this, do you? You'd do well to remember not to underestimate me, Ichimaru."**_

"_**I would never dream of doing such a thing. Well, you better get back to your squad, Captain. You wouldn't want to miss the bell now, would you... You never know when it's going to be your last."**_

_**--**_

"_**...and Hinamori?"**_

"_**Yes? What is it?"**_

"_**Just some advice... Be careful around Squad 3."**_

_**--**_

_**That spiritual pressure... **_

**Momo**_**.**_

_**And... and Kira?**_

_**Two shikai.**_

**What the hell is going on?**

_**--**_

_**Aizen... **_**murdered**_**? Who could have done this? Challenging and defeating a Captain of his level and experience... and then displaying his corpse in such a macabre manner? Was it the ryoka? Or could it have been...**_

"_**Thank you, Captain of Squad 10. I'm sorry that you would have to trouble yourself with one of mine."**_

**Ichimaru**_**.**_

"_**Captain... I believe that you were about to kill Hinamori."**_

"_**I don't know what you could possibly be talking about."**_

"_**One drop of her blood, Ichimaru. One drop and I swear that I'll kill you."**_

"_**Oh, how scary you are. But I suggest that you keep an eye on her... with those ryoka running loose and wartime orders, Seireitei is not as safe as it used to be. These are dangerous times, Captain, and who knows? Before this is over, some of us may even end up like poor Sousuke here... and I'd **_**hate**_** if anything bad would befall our dear Hinamori... Well, I don't think I need to worry. I'm certain that you never would let that happen, now that she is without a Captain and all..."**_

_**--**_

"_**So you're finally awake, huh."**_

"_**Captain? What... what are you doing in my quarters?"**_

"**Quarters?**_** Take a look around, Matsumoto. Does this look like home to you? You fell asleep in my office again, stupid. But since you're awake, you can take over things for me. **_**I've**_** been working since sunrise unlike **_**some**_** people."**_

"_**Well, if you hadn't insisted on doing all the paperwork for Squad 5 by yourself, you wouldn't be so tired, would you?"**_

"_**Oh, just be quiet and finish it off for me, will you? Here."**_

"_**Captain, this report...? It seems like you've left out quite a few things. What about all the details regarding the-"**_

"_**Didn't I tell you to keep quiet?"**_

"_**...I've been out a long time, haven't I?"**_

"_**Don't worry about it. You're not in an easy position yourself."**_

"_**Captain... You don't think that Gin...?"**_

_**--**_

"_**...and I'll kill you before she gets here, Ichimaru. Your blood will be on my hands."**_

**_Huh? _Momo?_ Damn it, where did she come from?!_**

"_**I found you. I'm glad that I'm not too late."**_

"_**Hinamori, don't do anything stupid! You're no match for him, you know that. Now, stand back and let me handle this!"**_

"_**No."**_

"_**What are you- Hinamori...?"**_

"_**I'm here to avenge my Captain... Why**_**, Hitsugaya, **_**why**_** did you kill him?**_**"**_

_**No... Momo?! This can't be-**_

_**--**_

"_**I can't... I- I can't! I... I don't know anymore... I- I can't do it, Shiro-chan! I don't know... I don't know what to do! ARGH!"**_

_**--**_

"_**You're cruel, Captain. The lieutenant was obviously distressed, and you didn't have to hit the poor thing so hard."**_

_**--**_

"_**Ichimaru, I gave you a warning. I told you that if you ever hurt Hinamori..."**_

"_**If you insist on releasing your zanpakutou against a fellow Captain and in a place like this, you leave me no other choice than to stop you."**_

_**--**_

"**_If you hadn't... she would surely have died."_**

"_**You're welcome... Captain."**_

_**--**_

"_**Matsumoto, let's go. We're going to stop the execution."**_

_**--**_

_**Bodies...**_

_**Everywhere, bodies.**_

_**It was a massacre.**_

_**Blood... It's dry and flaky, but it's blood... there is no doubt about it.**_

**What happened here?**

_**Kira...? What is he-**_

_**--**_

"_**Captain...? What- What is this? **_**Captain ****Aizen****? How is that possible... I saw you- You're alive...**_**"**_

_**--**_

"_**Hina...mori?"**_

_**Blood. All that blood... Could she be...?**_

_**No. **_

_**It can't be... God no, damn it!**_

_**Not her, not Momo.**_

_**--**_

"_**...that admiration is the state furthest away from understanding."**_

**Aizen. Ichimaru. I'll kill you.**

**I'll kill you both.**

_**--**_

_**What...? Aizen? **__**How-**_

**Impossible.**

_**When did he- So quick. I couldn't even sense his movement.**_

_**Damn him! I couldn't even-**_

_**But... what is this feeling? I don't recognize...**_

**Why?**

_**Cold, so cold...**_

_**--**_

"_**Captain Unohana! Captain Hitsugaya, he's-"**_

"_**I understand. I will take over for now, Yamada. Isane, could you please monitor lieutenant Hinamori? She hasn't quite stabilized yet."**_

"_**Of course, Captain."**_

"_**What- Where-"**_

"_**Captain Hitsugaya, you are currently in the 4th Division's special ward."**_

"_**Hinamori! Where is Hinamori?"**_

"_**Lieutenant Hinamori is alive but occupying another room. She received a deep wound but has responded well to treatment and is therefore no longer in a critical condition. I saw to most of her injuries myself."**_

"_**I see... **_**Aizen! Ichimaru!**_** Captain, I've got to-"**_

"_**Former Captains Aizen, Ichimaru and... Tousen are no longer in Soul Society, but have escaped to Hueco Mundo."**_

"_**Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tousen... So, we were betrayed by Tousen, too."**_

"_**Yes... and in the attempt to capture them, Captain Komamura and Captain Kuchiki both received severe injuries and are being treated as we speak."**_

"_**And the Head-Captain?"**_

"_**He is expected to call an emergency meeting for all remaining Captains as soon as possible. Also, Kuchiki Rukia, as well as the ryoka, has been pardoned."**_

"_**I see."**_

"_**Although your wounds were quite deep, you have recovered faster than expected, Captain. Now if you excuse me, I must supervise the treatment of patients who are in more critical condition than yourself."**_

"_**I understand. Captain Unohana..."**_

"_**Of course."**_

_**--**_

"_**Captain! Captain, thank God that you're alright! When I heard- I didn't know- I was-"**_

"_**Shut up, Matsumoto. I only just came back to the office and you're already giving me a headache."**_

"_**Um... Captain?"**_

"_**Yes, Matsumoto? What is it now?"**_

"_**I'm glad that you're alive."**_

_**--**_

"_**That idiot..."**_

"_**Talking about yourself again, Matsumoto?"**_

"_**Argh! Don't surprise me like that, Captain! You scared me so bad that I almost popped out of my robe!"**_

"_**So what if you had?"**_

"_**Then I might have exposed myself!"**_

"_**Which I doubt would bother you very much... Anyway, you have a guest."**_

"_**Izuru?"**_

"_**I... I need... I need to talk to you."**_

"_**Well, I have some sweet-buns here, so help yourself. And sake, of course!"**_

"_**Huh? I-I'm not s-sure if that would be co-completely approp-"**_

"_**Just do as she says, Kira."**_

"_**Yes, sir! Captain Hitsugaya, sir! Ahahaha...Well, on-on a sec-second thought, why not? A bit of sake never hurt anyone..."**_

"_**Good boy, Izuru! Now, come join us, Captain! The paperwork can wait until later! I'll even get you a cup and-"**_

"_**No, thanks. I prefer to keep my wits."**_

"_**Oh, you're no fun, Captain... So had you planned on sitting here, just watching?"**_

"_**Yes, but only to make sure that you two don't do anything overly stupid."**_

"_**It's your loss, Captain."**_

"_**I'm quite certain that it isn't."**_

"_**Um, Matsumoto? I'm not e-entirely sure if-"**_

"_**Oh, don't pay any attention to him! Drink up, Izuru! Drink up!"**_

"_**Eh..."**_

"_**Oi, you're not saying all that much, what's the matter?"**_

"_**Ah, well, it's just that my... you know- and I don't know if-"**_

"_**Come on, don't look so gloomy! Let's have a song!"**_

"_**But-"**_

"_**We've only had a few bottles so far, so if you don't wanna sing, at least you can drink some more! Come on!"**_

"_**No... No more, Matsumoto."**_

"_**No wimping out, Izuru!"**_

"_**But-"**_

"_**I said no wimping out!"**_

"_**Fine, just one more..."**_

"_**That's the spirit!"**_

"_**It's almost been an hour of watching you two idiots drinking yourself senseless and I'm tired of this. I'm leaving."**_

"_**Ok, bye-bye, Captain!"**_

"_**See ya- See ya later, Captain Hitsugaya! Captain... **_**Captain!**_** Captain Ichi..."**_

"_**I-zu-ru? Why the hell are you crying all of a sudden?"**_

_**--**_

"_**Captain, you're back. Where did you go?"**_

"_**Squad 4."**_

"_**I see... How is she?"**_

"_**She lost a lot of blood and is still unconscious, but according to Captain Unohana, she should make a full recovery."**_

"_**I'm glad to hear it."**_

"_**Matsumoto..."**_

"_**I was just thinking about Izuru. Poor guy... he has a lot of work ahead of him. Same goes for Hisagi and Hinamori, too. It's not going to be easy for them, having to deal with the aftermath and picking up the pieces like that. I don't think I would-"**_

"_**Matsumoto!"**_

"_**Yes?"**_

"_**Stop babbling."**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**When you're nervous, you babble. What's wrong?"**_

"_**Captain... I have been thinking. The defectors... How likely is it that they'll-"**_

"_**Not very. And even if they did return, they'd be executed."**_

"_**I see... Of course."**_

"_**Look, I know that you and Ichi-"**_

"_**What's in the past is in the past."**_

"_**So-"**_

"_**I'm fine, Captain. But thank you for your concern."**_

"_**If..."**_

"_**I know. Thanks."**_

_**--**_

"_**Captain... You know, apparently... Ah, there is something... I don't know if you know already, but... Um, what I mean to say is... Well, you see..."**_

"_**Spit it out already, Matsumoto. I'm busy with work, if you haven't noticed."**_

"_**Apparently, Hinamori is... back."**_

"_**Back? What do you mean 'back'? Back where?"**_

"_**She still hasn't been to the office, not since... but she's apparently heading Squad 5 from her quarters. A large part of the division paperwork is being delivered there at her request. At least, that is what the rumours say."**_

"_**Since when?"**_

"_**Since she was released from the 4th Division... That would make it two days ago. But, um..."**_

"_**What is it now?"**_

"_**She's not coming out. And she refuses to see anyone."**_

"_**Hn."**_

"_**Captain?"**_

"_**Just get to work, Matsumoto."**_

_**--**_

"_**Who is it?"**_

"_**Ah, Hinamori? It's... It's Captain Hitsugaya."**_

"_**...what do you want?"**_

"_**I heard that you were released from the 4th Division last week. So... congratulations! I've been quite busy with things so I haven't-"**_

"_**Why are you here?"**_

"_**I... I just want to talk, Hinamori."**_

"_**I don't think- I don't-"**_

"_**Hinamori."**_

"_**But I have so much to do! There is so much paperwork that needs to be done and we're really behind all the other squads, except for 2nd and maybe 9th. I haven't talked to Izuru or Shuuhei, but they seem to be having the same problems as we do. But it's not that strange, is it? I mean, it never ends, you know? Forms and protocols, reports and requests... and everything has really piled up lately and- and I have so much to do and there is never enough time and I really should get back to work! I'm sorry but my squad is counting on me and-"**_

"_**I know and I'll even help you finishing it, but I can't if your door is locked. If you want my help, then you'll have to let me in. Do you understand, Hinamori?"**_

"_**Yes."**_

"_**Then, will you open the door?"**_

"_**I don't know if- I mean, I don't think-"**_

"_**Let me in."**_

"_**...ok."**_

_**--**_

"_**Captain Unohana, regarding lieutenant Hinamori, I was wondering..."**_

"_**I wish that I could, Captain, but I can only heal physical wounds."**_

"_**I understand."**_

_**--**_

"_**I'm sorry, I-"**_

"_**How long have you been standing there? Come on, get inside."**_

"_**But, Shiro-chan, I-"**_

"_**It's Captain Hitsugaya, stupid. And as such I order you to sleep on my couch tonight. Have I made myself clear?"**_

"_**...yes."**_

"_**Good. There are some blankets and pillows on the floor over there. You can use those if you want."**_

"_**Thank you."**_

"_**Oh, and Hinamori?"**_

"_**Y-Yes?"**_

"_**If you... if you have another nightmare or if there is anything else, I'm just in the other room."**_

"_**I know."**_

"_**Good night then."**_

_**-- **_

"_**You're spending a lot of time with Hinamori, aren't you, Captain?"**_

"_**That's none of your concern, Matsumoto."**_

"**_I don't know her as well as you do _**– **_despite us being lieutenants together _**– **_since she used to spend most of her time with... What I mean to say is that I think... I think that it's working."_**

"**_That what is working?"_**

"_**Whatever it is that you do, Captain, I think it's starting to work. Anyway, you look dead tired... Go home, I'll do the rest."**_

"_**Go home? But I'm perfectly capable of-"**_

"_**We can't have a sleepy Captain now, can we? Don't worry, I'll finish up for today, I promise."**_

"_**If those reports aren't finished by-"**_

"_**I know, I know. You'll freeze me to my desk until the end of my insignificant life."**_

"_**How did you-"**_

"_**Oh, you say it all the time, Captain."**_

_**--**_

"_**Hinamori? What are you- Did you walk all the way from your quarters to mine in this weather? It's pouring outside!"**_

"_**I- I needed to see you about something. I'm sorry for disturbing you this late, but I promise that it's import-"**_

"_**I'm sure that it is, but it can't be worth you catching a cold outside my door. So-"**_

"_**No, please, just listen for a moment. I'll be quick. I'm- I'm so, so sorry for everything. I didn't know that Capt- I mean, Aizen would- I shouldn't have- I even raised Tobiume against- I should have known-"**_

"_**Hinamori, shut up."**_

"_**Shiro-chan?"**_

"_**This is the eleventh or twelfth time you've apologised like this – I've even stopped counting since coming back from the living world. The point is that nothing about this was your fault, Hinamori. Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tousen acted on their own and you're not to blame for anything, and even if you were somehow involved in this mess – which you're not – I would... I would probably forgive you anyway."**_

"_**...you would?"**_

"_**I would."**_

"_**But why? Why would you do such a thing, Shiro-chan?"**_

"_**Because... Because you're Bed-wetter Momo, that's why. But if you don't either get in here or go straight home, I'll seriously reconsider."**_

"_**But I-"**_

"_**Hinamori! I mean it."**_

"_**Thank you."**_

"_**Any time. Now, go home and change into something dry."**_

"_**...um, actually, would it be ok if I stay for a little while? I don't want to impose, I just-"**_

"_**Fine. I have one condition, however."**_

"_**What is it?"**_

"_**Lose the 'Shiro-chan', will you?"**_

_**--**_

"_**...Aizen's forces keep growing at an alarming rate – you've all read Captain Soifon's reports – and all signs point towards the same thing. It's only a matter of time before he has gathered enough power to completely overrun us; we have already suffered several defeats in the living world, and soon we might not even be able to defend Soul Society. Aizen is growing more and more daring and... I suggest that we act. Captains, what I propose is a counterattack, that we bring the war to Hueco Mundo... to Las Noches. Aizen will not be able to ignore such a challenge, and if he falls, our chances of ending this war will improve drastically."**_

"_**I agree with Captain Hitsugaya. We've waited for too long already, and I'm dying for a real fi-"**_

"_**Silence! Captains of the Gotei 13, we can no longer afford to merely observe the movements in Hueco Mundo. The time to act has come. Captain Hitsugaya of the 10th Division, you are hereby charged with the responsibility of overseeing the preparations of an immediate invasion."**_

"_**Yes, sir."**_

"_**Permission to join the operation, Head-Captain."**_

"_**Permission granted, Captain of Squad 2."**_

"_**Then also I and Squad 7 will lend our full support to this mission."**_

"_**Naturally, the 6th Division-"**_

"_**Atta boy, Kuchiki!"**_

"**Captain**_** Kyouraku, I have repeatedly asked you not to-"**_

"_**Shunsui, leave the boy alone. Head-Captain, the 13th Division will also join."**_

"_**You sure that's wise, Juushirou? Well, then I suppose I don't have a choice but to go either. Dear Nanao is sure to be very disappointed, though..."**_

"_**Permission to return to my Squad, Head-Captain."**_

"_**Kenpachi, where are you going? I would have thought that you would be the most interested in matters of bloodshed."**_

"**_If you really have to know, _Kurotsuchi_, I have some sorting to do before we leave. I'm putting in a lot of effort into this one, so those Arrancar better not disappoint."_**

"_**Permission granted, Captain of Squad 11."**_

_**--**_

"_**I'll miss you."**_

_**--**_

"_**Goodnight, Momo."**_

_**--**_

"_**I'm flattered. You came all this way to see me, Shiro-chan."**_

"_**You have no right to call me that. Only she can."**_

"'_**She'? Oh, you must mean dear Hinamori, of course... Yes, how **_**is**_** my faithful little lieutenant doing nowadays? I even miss her dogged admiration sometimes. It was very entertaining."**_

"**Former**_** lieutenant, and she's alive and well, if that's what you're asking..."**_

"_**Ah, and you're here to take revenge upon me... Your predictability bores me, Captain. But if you insist, I suppose that I have to other choice but to destroy you more thoroughly than last time. **_**Kyouka Suigetsu**_**."**_

_--_

"_**Well, this was even easier than I had expected."**_

"_**You bastard... I'll... kill you..."**_

"_**I see, so even until the very end... Captain of Squad 10, your childish stubbornness is no longer amusing. All that there is left for you to do, Hitsugaya Toushirou, is to die."**_

_--_

"**Don't." **

_**His life is mine to end.**_

"**Withdraw, 'shiro. Now."**

_**So you do understand after all...Thank you, Ukitake.**_

_--_

"_**Hyourinmaru, I saw you break at my feet, and yet... here you are."**_

"_**You called for me, master, and I will come as long as I still have power to answer."**_

"_**We don't have much time left... I need you, dragon."**_

"_**Do you remember what I told you when I first revealed to you the true power of our bankai?"**_

"_**Yes."**_

"_**Then you know better than to beg."**_

_**--**_

_**Master...**_

"**It's time."**

_**...release me...**_

"**Hyourimaru!"**

_**...and I will fly higher, swifter.**_

"**Bankai."**

_--_

_**I can see you, Aizen... I can see through your tricks and illusions as if they were made of ice. You can't hide from me. Not this time.**_

"**You won't fool me twice, Captain."**

_**There is nowhere left for you to run.**_

_**Aizen, you're mine.**_

_--_

"_**You should celebrate your victory when you still can, Hitsugaya. Your wounds are deeper than mine and even with Captain Unohana's motherly care, you will not survive."**_

"_**Then I'll follow you to hell, Aizen, if it's only to make sure that you stay there."**_

--

Then the fragments had once more dissolved into new whiteness, and once again, he had been alone. Only, this time, he sensed the presence of another being. It had felt so near that he would touch it if he reached out, and yet he understood if only instinctively, that he could never hope to fully grasp it. Suddenly, a whisper had reverberated through the whiteness and somehow he had understood that this would be the last piece, the last memory the mysterious dragon would show him... and somehow, he had sensed that this fragment would be the most important.

_**What is that sound that echoes over these empty plains? What is that call that seems to draw me towards it? **__**I hear a voice... far, near. I hear it resounding. I will search and I will find it, even if I die on this plain of ice.**_

After hearing his own distant voice, Hitsugaya had finally understood.

So it was _you_... It was _your_ voice I heard, and _your_ presence that I sensed all those years ago. It was _your_ voice that I heard in my dreams and _your_ ice that I sensed beneath the black rocks.

_It was you._

_**On this frozen plain, I die... **_

But I wasn't alone, because you were with me until the end, weren't you...

_Hyourinmaru._

--

Then voice had quieted, the white had dissolved, and he was once again standing in front of the graceful ice-dragon.

"You asked me for my name." The voice had echoed inside his head. "Now, I shall answer you. My name is-"

"Hyourinmaru." His own voice had spoken in the dragon's stead, caressing each syllable with an unexpected softness. "The frozen full moon, the ice ring... A beautiful name."

"Of course," the dragon had stated while gazing down upon him imperiously, bright twin fires dancing behind his sparkling eyes. "What did you expect... master."

"Thank you, my zanpakutou..." That day, when he had not only been truly reunited with Hyourinmaru but also with an unknown past, he had not known what to say. But the words that somehow found themselves over his lips had been spoken from his heart. "You opened the door, and all that is left is to take the first step into the light. But I'm still weak, Hyourinmaru; I have so much to learn and so many lost things to recover... Will you help me? Will you teach me all that I have forgotten? Will you lend me your wings also in this life?"

"I have been waiting for you, for you are my master and I am your zanpakutou. I have been waiting because without you, I cannot take to the skies. Now that I have found you, my entire being aches to soar above the stars. It is calling us... Can you feel it in your soul as I feel it in mine? We are creatures of the air, master, and we do not belong on the ground."

"Then, you...?"

"I always did, master – I told you once that I am you as you are me. Let this be my first lesson to you: you and I, we are one. That is what it truly means to wield a zanpakutou and to be worthy of possessing its name."

--

"Where are you?!" He had hurried towards the distant speck of light that indicated that the end of the staircase, angrily calling the mentor who had proved completely unreliable. "UKITAKE!"

"You're being very noisy today." The white-haired Captain had been sitting at his usual place at the table, frowning at his normally collected student's uncharacteristic outburst. "What is the matter?"

"When were you planning on telling me the truth?" At this point, Hitsugaya remembered that he had still been undecided on whether or not it would be the most beneficial to strangle the other shinigami – that Ukitake in fact was an experienced Captain, and probably would not willingly submit to murder, had seemed completely irrelevant at the time – before or after forcing some half-decent answers from him. "Or were you even planning on telling me at all."

"What do you mean?" The reply had been as sharp as Sougyo no Kotowari's blades, instantaneously extinguishing Hisugaya's most immediate fury.

"No more games." Although his voice had been calmer, Hitsugaya's green eyes had still been blazing with cold heat. "Captain, I need to know... _Who am I?"_

"I see." The Gotei 13 Captain had gestured for his younger colleague to take up his usual seat at the table. "So bringing you together with your zanpakutou had the effects that we had hoped for – when two zanpakutou resonate, they sometimes do so in unison and thereby show their wielders their pasts... It would seem that Hyourinmaru resonated with your soul, and so in a way with itself, revealing to you your past."

"Captain-"

"Well then, Hitsugaya Toushirou. Please, help yourself to some flower tea – this is going to take some time to explain."

* * *

What can I say... whereas I feel as if the last couple of chapters have been lacking a bit of ***oompf***, quite a lot happens in this chapter. At least, we learn some more about Hitsugaya's (shamelessly fabricated) past _and_ past life. The whole double past thing is really difficult to write without overusing phrases like "then he remembered", "he could recollect", etc, and I hope I haven't confused you too much!

Hm. Maybe there are a few things I should clear up, just in case it wasn't done well enough in the actual text. Now, I'm not suggesting that anyone would be incapable of figuring them out by on his/her own, it's just that I found that_ I_ was getting a little confused myself... and yes, I'm indeed the author. Not a very good sign, I would say. Anyway, since this contains nothing new or overly important – it's just to clarify some bits and pieces – feel free to ignore the rest if you wish.

--

So it basically begins with Hitsugaya getting back Hyourinmaru, whom he eventually meets. Now the reason why he doesn't tell Ukitake about it (and by doing so, saving himself and me A LOT of work), is that I imagine that Hitsugaya is a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to himself and his abilities (naturally not to be confused with, you know, _insecurity_ stemming from having pretty much _failed_ at the zanpakutou part of being a shinigami thus far). I imagine that he would much rather reveal Hyourinmaru once he understood the ice-dragon a little bit better and actually was capable of summoning him at will. It is also revealed that Hyourinmaru (whom I tried to give a little bit of sass in the manner of 'it's only natural that I would have a beautiful name, what would you expect from greatness such as myself' to reflect Hitsugaya's personality... I mean it can't be denied that he was a bit of a brat as a boy) has been waiting for Hitsugaya to make an appearance in Soul Society (sensing that his wielder was alive confirms the theory behind the self-generation thing in a previous chapter). Ukitake doesn't probe more about the progress, since he possesses better judgement and therefore realizes that there is a chance that Hitsugaya really isn't Hitsugaya at all and as such wouldn't meet Hyourinmaru anyway. Nonetheless, he brings out Hitsugaya's old sash (surprise, surprise! Sorry, but I just _had_ to throw it in there. Predictable and corny, I know...). I thought that having Hitsugaya commenting on the colour and then attaching it to his person in a similar manner as he had before, would put some emphasis on the fact that he's still somewhat the same_-ish_. Um. Yeah, he still has some issues with his height (or lack thereof), although "he didn't think that he was shorter than average by all that much." Bless him.

Now comes the more difficult part: how much does he actually remember? (Which turns out to be more than I had originally planned). But _man_, was that hard to write! I admit to having borrowed heavily (and I mean, HEAVILY) from the manga, anime, and also _The DiamondDust Rebellion_ movie, so you probably recognized some of the dialogue and most of the events that were mentioned (I tried to fit the more important ones in there. Speaking of which, I know that the thing about Momo and Hitsugaya being cornered by thugs may have appear to be completely out of the blue, but I actually based it on a short scene in the credits for episode 35 of the anime. Haha! I'm such a nerd, I'm sorry). While knowledge into the details about the true events isn't absolutely necessary to understand this chapter, I do think that it makes more sense of you know a little bit about the back story. I also left out who was speaking and when to reflect the fact the Hitsugaya only remembers things in fragments. But if I tried my best to make it clear who was who by limiting the number of partcipants in each conversation/event, mentioning their names, and (if only _slightly_) overplaying their more distinct characteristics. I hope that it was ok.

Um, I also made some references to events from previous chapters, like Momo shutting herself away from the world with paperwork (To be completely honest, I'm still not entirely sure about Hitsugaya's reaction to that... What do you think? Too soft and mushy?) and her nightly appearances at his doorstep. More notable is that Hitsugaya's dialogue from Chapter 5 ("A Winter's Tale") reappears. I purposively left out references to chapter 7 ("His Star/Her Star"), though, so we don't know how much he remembers about the more romantic aspects of his relationship to Momo. I hate the inconclusiveness too, but don't worry! I actually have my reasons.

Oh and I apologize for any OOCness in this chapter! I don't know if Aizen really would call Hitsugaya 'Shiro-chan', but I'm pretending that it makes sense, seeing that he uses it rather patronizingly and as an insult. Also, I'm not sure if even Zaraki (who can't boast with having any real manners that would be recognized by polite society) would dare to speak out of turn in front of the Head-Captain. I made him ask for permission before he left, though... And then there is Kyouraku! I'm not quite certain if he seriously would refer to THE Kuchiki Byakuya as 'boy' at am official meeting, and then having said Kuchiki dignify it with an answer, but I'm figuring that for Kyouraku (as well as Ukitake and Unohana) who has been a since just about Captain _forever_ (after all, he is a contemporary to, or if not even older than, Byakuya's _grandfather_), Kuchiki Byakuya would indeed seem like a boy. Likewise, I'm not sure of Ukitake would encourage such an informal conversation at a serious meeting, but again, I'm playing the "I'm-an-old-timer-and-Yamamoto's-on-off-favourite-so-you-should-respect-me-regardless-of-my-eccentric-tendencies" card. Anyway, I apologize if I overdid it. I thought it was funny.

Also, since she appears quite often in this chapter, I would like to ask you to think about how the way Matsumoto speaks (especially the way that she addresses her Captain) slowly changes from when she first meets Hitsugaya to how she expresses herself as the acting commander of her squad. I have tried to make her sound increasingly mature while keeping her playfulness... It's nothing that is particularly significant, but I wanted to hint at some of _her_ journey as well has Hitsugaya's.

Um, what else? Yes, the concept of zanpakutou resonating with each other to show their wielders' pasts (mentioned by Ukitake at the end as to explain why Hyourinmaru would show Hitsugaya his memories)... That comes from the movie. Basically, my take on it is that Hyourinmaru is Hitsugaya's zanpakutou spirit and in other words the physical manifestation of his soul. Sooo... when Hyourinmaru (whom I see as a more independent being since Hitsugaya isn't exactly the same as how he was when he died, and thus making it impossible for Hyourinmaru to be the _exact_ physical form of the "new" Hitsugaya despite that he bond between them remained) "resonated" with Hitsugaya, he's basically resonating with himself, which TECHNICALLY means that there are indeed two zanpakutou resonating with each other. That Hyourinmaru can recollect events before the Academy is probably because Hitsugaya already interacted with Hyourinmaru as a young boy... or something like that. _Phew_. If anything of that made somewhat sense to you, I'm very, very grateful.

Argh, I wrote too much as usual. Sorry! But please, let me know what you think!

I'm planning on letting the next chapter be about the Gotei 13 Captains pitching in on training their rookie. What do you think about the prospect of reading about it? Good idea? Bad idea? Stupid idea? Not to encourage a particular opinion, but I'm actually having a rather good time drafting stuff for Soifon. I've never tried writing for her before, but the challenge is turning out to be an enjoyable one! Sure, she can easily be dismissed as being cold, mean, and possessing Kuchiki-esque rigidity (without the talk about honour and pride to go with it), but I think that she's interesting.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


	22. On the Pride of the Mighty

_Author's Note__: Alright, so just to prepare you, this entire chapter is one huge flashback from various points of views. Enjoy!_

--

**Chapter 22: On the Pride of the Mighty**

"Ukitake, what is the meaning of this?" The 2nd Division commander was eying said Captain suspiciously, her arms defensively crossed over her chest. "Head-Captain Yamamoto did _not_ call this meeting as was implied by the message."

"That would be correct, Captain. But I will explain everything shortly." Ukitake steadfastly met his younger colleague's frown with a small smile before calmly turning to his friend and fellow Captain. "Are we all here yet, Kyouraku?"

"Well, Kurotsuchi is holed up in his lab as usual, so he won't be coming. But Unohana, Komamura, and the Kuchiki-boy are already here." Kyouraku Shunsui nodded in the direction of the silent group of haori-clad shinigami that was impatiently waiting for an explanation for the sudden summons. "We're still waiting for Zara-"

"What's the freakin' idea behind all _this_?! I was just about to-"

"It would seem that Zaraki finally decided to join us."

"Good." Ukitake gently cleared his throat, careful as not to trigger another exhausting coughing attack, before turning to address Seireitei's elite. "Captains, I trust that you are all aware of the latest developments regarding the reappearance of Hitsugaya?"

"Of course, we've been over this many times already and we've even seen the kid... So that's not why we are here, is it?" the currently reigning Kenpachi muttered impatiently while his visible eye glistened dangerously. "So get on with it already, Ukitake – I have a brawl to finish and a score to settle. Ichigo's in town."

"Ah..." Ukitake's unfinished sentence still hung in the air as six pairs of eyes shifted – with varying degrees of discretion – towards the only shinigami present, who had refused his own haori upon accepting his captaincy. It would seem as if the Captain, whose fanatical love for carnage of combat already had become the stuff of legends, possessed more perceptiveness than they had previously accredited him for.

"You mean _former _Captain Hitsugaya, Ukitake." The commander-in-chief of the Special Forces smirked as her sharp interception roughly awoke her fellow Captain from his contemplative state, just as she had intended.

"Again, you are correct, Captain Soifon." The friendly smile was unwavering as its wearer calmly continued. "Even if that may come to change very soon..."

"_Come to change_...?" The wrinkles on said, petite Captain's forehead deepened as an unexplainable but definite feeling of weariness settled over her slender shoulders. She was certain that whatever piece of news that the Captain planned to unleash upon them, it wouldn't be pleasant. Her right hand curled itself into a tight ball at her side as she looked up at the white-haired man. "What _exactly_ do you mean?"

"Yes, if you would please explain yourself, Captain." Komamura had the distinct feeling that the older Captain would be revealing something of uttermost importance – experience, as well as the tingling sensation over his spine, told him as much. But it was very unusual for the normally straightforward Captain of the 13th Division to keep them in such suspense.

_Although_... Komamura reluctantly cast a glance in the direction of the Captain of the 8th Division, who was nonchalantly leaning against the wall, seemingly indifferent of the tension that was gradually filling the empty space between the gathered shinigami. But, of course, as a Captain, Komamura knew better than even for a moment being fooled by his leisurely appearance – the grin that was slowly spreading over the lower regions of Kyouraku's face, which was only barely visible under the rim of that ridiculous straw hat, revealed that the Captain of Squad 8 indeed was aware of the situation... and that he was enjoying it. Despite of the seriousness of the situation, the infamous pink-clad man could indeed have good reason to be satisfied – it would seem as if his unhealthy penchant for dramatics at last would have rubbed off on his more level-headed friend.

Komamura sighed inwardly. As irritating as it was, it was bound to happen eventually... Over the years, he had found that this was the real trouble with allowing close proximity to others: they seemed to leave their distinct imprints, whether one liked it or not. If not properly maintained, those marks would eventually fade with time, but never to such a degree that they would disappear completely.

He sighed again. _Irrevocability_. That was indeed the trouble...

"As you all know, the Head-Captain assigned me to personally oversee Hitsugaya Toushirou's basic shinigami training, and as I have reported on several occasions, he seems to have retained possession of uncommonly high spiritual energy." Ukitake finally spoke once more. "Captains, it is an indisputable fact that his potential capacity remains much too high for a normal shinigami, and even for a ranked officer. It would be an insult to the honour of the Gotei 13 if he were not allowed to fully realize this potential; and above all, it would be an insult to the very Ukitake name if I merely stood by and watched as his talents remained untapped and his abilities unchallenged."

"I see." Unohana Retsu's mild gaze was transfixed on the white-haired Captain, but her fair features were devoid of any emotions, save for a blinding neutrality. "So you intend to...?"

"Yes, I do indeed." The tone of his voice grew a shade darker and more defiant as he continued, "I intend to train him _specifically_ for the task of regaining his former captaincy."

After a brief moment of absolute, stunned silence, the room was thrown into tumultuous chaos.

"What the hell?!" Zaraki roared just as predicted. "Those were _not_ your instructions!"

"Captain, you can't seriously intend to... And even if- Specifically _grooming_ him for captaincy? This- This is unheard of!" Komamura's uncharacteristic exclamation revealed that even the normally calm giant was rattled by the news. But before he had a chance to elaborate on his unfinished statement, he was rudely interrupted by Soifon. "You forget that he may not even _be_ the former Captain – at this moment in time there is no way for us to know that for sure and until we do, it would be unacceptable to allow an outsider among us!"

"He is not an outsider." The simple retort was delivered with abnormal curtness, but full of confidence and determination. "He _is_ Hitsugaya Toushirou, former Captain of Squad 10 of the Gotei 13. He _is_ one of us already."

"You should listen to Jyuu. He's the one who has trained the kid for months now, so if anyone knows, it's him." The 8th Division Captain straightened from his relaxed position as he spoke up in defence of his friend, and Ukitake sent him a glance of pure gratefulness – he could always count on good old Kyouraku to have his back, no matter what – which earned him a good-natured wink in return."And I, for one, trust his judgement. If he says that the kid is Hitsugaya, then he probably is. Besides, how else could you explain his memories? Even Kurotsuchi admitted in his preliminary report that although they couldn't be fully explained, it is unlikely that they could have been planted. They were far too detailed... Well, you were all at that meeting."

"I also agree with Captain Ukitake." The gentle 4th Division Captain raised her voice above the resulting commotion, and as an effect, the whole room froze once again in astonished silence. "I have presented my medical findings, and even if those test results alone were deemed insufficient in conclusively proving his identity, there is no doubt in my mind as to who he is. The shinigami I examined was the former Captain of the 10th Division."

"Well, you all heard the lady... So does anyone have a problem with this? If so, please speak up now or be prepared to forever hold you peace." Kyouraku looked out over the assembled shinigami elite, expecting at least Soifon to voice her opinion, but interestingly enough, she and the others now remained silent. Well, when he thought about it, that was no wonder, really. After all, ever since the startling discovery, no Captain had gone so far as to openly accepting the mysterious newcomer's identity, and now _all_ three senior Captains had done just that... That was certainly something worth considering.

"Thank you." Ukitake gracefully nodded his appreciation to the remnants of the old guard. "I called this meeting because, although I am fairly accomplished in all four basic forms of combat, among _you_ there is expertise in certain areas that even exceeds mine."

"Even if it can be proven that he indeed is the former Captain, what _exactly_ are you suggesting, Captain Ukitake?" Komamura's intelligent eyes gleamed with sudden interest, as that tingling anticipation over his backbone intensified – although he could not be absolutely certain, the 7th Division commander thought that he was beginning to understand his fellow Captain's true intentions with the sudden assembly.

"You don't mean that you want _us_ to-" The look of bewildered curiosity revealed that the penny had also dropped for Zaraki.

"Captain Ukitake, am I correct to understand that you are determined to follow through with your decision, with or without our support?" Kuchiki Byakuya's voice was sharp, but his dark eyes were as unflinchingly illegible as usual, revealing none of his intentions or thoughts.

"Yes, I am." He added, "Also, the Head-Captain has given his approval in extending his training."

The other Captains must have sensed that the Captain of Squad 13 indeed was serious, and during the complete silence that followed his admission, the white-haired Captain quietly observed their various reactions: Soifon took to leaning against the nearest wall, both arms resolutely folded over her chest, her posture and general attitude exuding both disinterest and defiance; as usual, the Kuchiki noble had already detached himself from the on-goings of his surroundings by simply closing his eyes, calmly contemplating that which had been said, in silence. Komamura looked as if he was trying to determine just how serious the other Captain was; Unohana and Kyouraku exchanged a glance; Zaraki merely shrugged.

"I understand." It was Komamura who finally broke the silence, during which his deep, yellow eyes had never once left the features of the 13th Division Captain. "If it is according the Head-Captain's wishes, then, as your fellow Captains and commanders of the Divisions of the Gotei 13, it would be dishonourable if we did not-"

"Lend you our discrete assistance."

Even Captain Unohana cast a glance at the expressionless 9th Division Captain. Who would have known that even after so many years in the Gotei 13, and after so many faces and spiritual pressures that had entered and subsequently disappeared from her life, there were still those who could surprise her? But the stern Kuchiki Byakuya's support had indeed been completely unexpected.

"... Kuchiki? Are you-"

"It is indeed a matter of pride, Captain Ukitake, and as such, it should not be taken lightly. However, I do not expect to be disappointed."

But before anyone had a chance to further comment on his uncharacteristic input, the dignified aristocrat had already sailed out of the room in his normal imperious manner – his black robes and white haori proudly billowing behind him – considering the subject to be settled and no longer requiring his attention.

"Well, I never did get a chance to beat the hell out of 'im last time, and I don't fight small-fry..." Zaraki was just about to follow in Kuchiki's footsteps. "What the hell. I'm in."

"If the Head-Captain has given his approval, then I have no objections," Komamura reasoned before he too, left.

"I suppose that his shunpo must be dreadful."

Three of the remaining Captains turned their full attention to the fourth, who was still leaning against the wall and who had kept demonstratively silent until that point. Kyouraku was the first to break the stunned silence that followed her unexpected statement – the day seemed destined to be full of surprises. "Come now, my dearest Soifon, you don't mean to say that _you_ would be prepared to-"

"_Don't_ make the mistake of turning this into something bigger than it is, _Captain _Kyouraku," she hissed reprimanding, causing the older Captain to shrink back ever so slightly. "Whether or not he truly is Hitsugaya is of no real consequence to me – it's not that I care either way. But...," she lowered her voice further and an ominous smirk momentarily graced the features of the commander-in-chief of the Special Forces, "If he really is as skilled as the reports claim that he is...? Well, let's just say that I have been very bored lately."

--

"Come on, is that all you've got?! _**You're**_ – _**still**_ – _**too**_ – _**slow**_! This is not difficult, Hitsugaya! Concentrate on not just moving your feet, but your entire body! Now, do it again. Get up, fluff ball!"

"..."

Hitsugaya had grown increasingly agitated – the 2nd Division Captain's insults had rained over him for the entire duration of their first session. He had tried his best to remain calm, focusing on the rapid movements of his opponent rather than on the infuriating catcalling, but even his steely determination to remain unaffected was coming dangerously close to an end: maggot, failure, tick, nobody, has-been, worm, embarrassment, snowflake, disgrace, and now, _fluff ball_?! He used to be a _Captain_ for crying out loud! How he could tolerate such demeaning treatment, only God knew.

"Hit a nerve, did I? Eh, _fluff ball_!" The teaching Captain had been smirking coldly at her fuming pupil. "And the likes of _you_ expect to become one of _us_? Pathetic! Even the Devil of Squad 11 could do better than _this_!"

"Oi, Soifon! I _heard_ that!" The bellow, which undoubtedly came from the enraged Captain of said Squad, reverberated throughout the underground cave, and the disruption granted Hitsugaya a brief moment of inattentiveness in his opponent.

_Finally, an opening..._

"With all due respect, _Captain_," he had hissed at the petite shinigami through clenched teeth, as he fought to keep up with her speedy movements. "Do _not_ underestimate me!"

A heartbeat later, she was flat on her back, his menacing figure looming above her head. He had taken her down with a swift blow to her unguarded ankles, and the fist that was a mere centimetres away from her exposed throat reminded her of a snake, coiled and ready to strike at any moment. She had quickly concluded that there was no mercy in his eyes and so she confirmed that in any other situation, he wouldn't have hesitated to follow through with the kill – had she been anyone else, she would undoubtedly already be dead.

_Not bad... for an outsider._

Yes, although he had done well to turn her brief moment inattention to his advantage, she sure as hell wasn't about to compliment him on it. Bossing around the notoriously reserved ice-wielder _and_ former Captain as if he were nothing but a green recruit, the lowest of the low... Now, _that_ was far too amusing to be given up willingly. Besides, considering how well he was doing, she had the feeling that she would have to treat him more formally and with much more respect soon enough. But until then, he was under _her_ tutorage and she was determined to enjoy its many privileges to their fullest. Besides, well-meant heckling was part of the learning process – she was a firm believer in that personal struggle built a strong character. So, all in all, she was really doing him a favour.

"I was going easy on you." He had gulped inwardly as she had effortlessly hit his arm aside, jumping back on her feet with one fluid, catlike motion and with her eyes gleaming dangerously. "Let's see you do that again, _tick_."

--

"He's coming along nicely, isn't he, Ukitake?" Zaraki was pointing towards the blurry figures before them, the faster of the two periodically hurling insults at the other. "Soifon isn't the best teacher, but I think that he's starting to get the hang of it. At least, it looks better than it did three hours ago."

"Yes, I believe that you're right, Zaraki," Ukitake answered thoughtfully.

"Yesterday, I fought him again and he wasn't doing too shabbily – I could tell that he's been picking up a few things from Komamura – even if it wasn't nearly enough for me to get going for real." A wide, bloodthirsty grin settled over scarred features of the undisputed king of the brutish 11th Division. "But he landed a few good ones... Hell, I even got _frostbite_ to show for it! Afterwards I got a once over from Unohana, though, for being "too rough" on him apparently. I didn't know that she- She's one intimidating woman, damn it! But she was clearly overreacting – the kid even said himself that he was feeling fine. The way I see it, that wasn't even a _real_ concussion anyway... When the smoke cleared, he _was_ still standing. Nothing to get all worked up about, right?"

"...I see." Ukitake nodded reassuringly at the taller man beside him before once again turning his attention to the barren training grounds before them. "I do appreciate your help with training him, Zaraki; I doubt that I could have taught him everything myself so quickly, and it's very good experience for him to encounter more opponents of our level. This way, he'll be better prepared when he is presented to the Head-Captain for his re-evaluation... However, there is something that still worries me."

"What is it?"

"We still don't know why he's back," the white-haired shinigami's carefully replied. "Or how he managed to do it..."

"But aren't both Unohana _and_ the masked bastard on his case?" Zaraki momentarily tore his eyes from the enticing fight for look at the other Captain curiously.

"If you mean Kurotsuchi, then yes, they have both been studying him."

"And even after all that, they _still_ don't know?"

"They don't, at least not conclusively, and this could pose real a problem when reinstating him. It might even prevent him from becoming a full-fledged shinigami altogether."

"But since there's nothing we can do about it, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we."

"Actually, Zaraki..." Ukitake hesitated before adding, "There _is_ one other option."

"Ukitake, you don't mean..." It was unnecessary to finish the question when both men were fully aware of what this 'other' option entailed.

"Yes, but only as a last resort."

"I see. Then we'll just have to hope that Unohana and the creep find something soon."

"Indeed."

Both Captains turned their attention towards the training grounds just in time to see the slim figure dressed in the traditional uniform that singled her out as the supreme head of the Special Forces, coldly inform the crumpled form on the ground that the reason for his predicament was that his shunpo, once again, had been too slow.

--

"I will show you only once." Slim, deceivingly delicate fingers had slowly extended in the direction of the far way target. "I expect you to focus. _Byakurai_."

Seconds later, an explosion of gigantic proportions rocked the very foundation of the cave. When the thick, bluish smoke finally cleared, not even rubble had remained of the obliterated target. However, the immobile shinigami Captain had shown no signs of satisfaction at the sight of the utter destruction. Curiously enough, his face had, in fact, been devoid of emotion altogether.

When his dignified instructor remained expectantly silent, Hitsugaya had assumed the correct stance, fully aware of that each and every one of his movements – be it even _breathing_ – was being watched and critically evaluated with purposeful intent. So he had stiffened ever so slightly as he mentally prepared himself for the task, which had seemed herculean, even bordering on the impossible, at the time.

Until then, Hitsugaya had never attempted to use hadou for such _complete_ destruction, and now he was expected to perform it _without_ an incantation? Although his greatest strength lay in his mastery of zanjutsu, not kidou, he had his pride and it would not accept failure – anything less than a well-executed kidou would be a severe disappointment. Besides, once upon a time, this would have been low enough a number for the spell to be effortless, and he wanted to prove, if only to himself, that he still had that ability.

"Hadou 4! Byakurai!"

To his infinite relief, the target promptly exploded in a sea of raging flames, although the second explosion had been substantially smaller and weaker than the first.

"I see. So you are not without talent." The Captain of the 6th Division had critically surveyed the damage, which he had to admit was above that which he had expected. Of course, it had been executed without any finesse or elegance, and the damage had been limited, but the effort had at least been somewhat tolerable. Yes, although the shorter shinigami still had much to learn if he hoped to regain his former position within the Gotei 13, he was certainly progressing well.

* * *

That just goes to show that even prodigies have to work, don't they? I'm sorry for the filler-feeling of this chapter, but I just wanted to take a peek into some of Hitsugaya's training :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach.


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